Hope you all had a good holiday. Up until today, I have not spoken with my WS in 7 weeks.
However today... Shit got real. Very real. Very Concerning.
I decided I was going to have to go there to get some paperwork, as well as a few winter clothes items. I called her before coming but she didn't
answer so I left a message. I had my girlfriend with me to video tape incase she started to get physical or wanted to call the police and lie about me being physical. I also called the local fuzz and let them know what I was doing beforehand. Made sure that since I am still locked out of the house I pay the mortgage on, I was legally allowed to enter. They said I am, and if the door is locked I can kick it down if I have too. I notified my lawyer as well.
Anyways, I get there, no ones home. I text her, she said she is "dealing with a "situation" and she will be home soon to let me in. Constantly telling me I MUST warn her before I come. (its my house silly WS, I don't actually have to warn anyone)
Anyways, 25 mins or so go by and she pulls in. I had already told her I had my GF with me. She pulls up next to my car I say hey whats up, she looks at me and says we need to talk in private. So I get out and go over to the passenger side door. I notice RIGHT AWAY, her face is swollen, she has a black eye, and a strangle ring around her neck...I lose it, I know she has been seeing a man from church and she said back in November to me that she saw some red flags with him and they had already had some arguments. She said he was going to school to be a pastor and that he cant really just leave to visit her... I knew something sounded fishy way back then, but rly didn't care because I just don't care anymore... I raise my voice to her and say "DID HE DO THIS TOO YOU?" she told me she had called the cops and that she already made a police report.
Wow.... I am shocked. didnt know anyone was even staying there, I have been NO CONTACTING HER for WEEKS!
So.... She lets us in the house, but really didn't want to. We walk in... My girl turns on the video camera because WS is getting pissed. She shoves my GF on video and keeps telling us to get out, she said her "lawyer" ( I don't think she has one) wrote a motion that apparently states I cannot go into my own house Anyways, that gets broken up, she tucks tail and goes outside while me and my girl walk thru the house to collect my items. My mind is racing right now since I found out the man that punched my WS in the face has been staying there for a month or so. With my kids. My kids also told me that she also leaves my youngest there alone with this man, when she takes them to school in the morn.... I'm fuming, but keeping my cool. Not once did I lose it.
I get what I need and go outside. She is sitting in the van, and she drives away.
I get into my girls car, and try to comprehend what just happened and I am shocked to see the condition of the house. She had beer and alcohol bottles all over. The house was TRASHED!!! She still does not have a job even though I have been gone for 6 months. There is really no excuse. Paint missing off some walls, cats everywhere, and she has also been smoking cigs in the bedroom....
As my girl and I sit in the car trying to breath, I get a text message....But it was from a very very familiar number. A unique one. One that triggers PTSD to this day. Her original AP....
He sends me some pictures of a guy with a gun... Another one of the same guy standing behind what looks to be my WS's ass. More of him toting guns....
I call the number. My WS AP, was being sent texts from my WS new boyfriend. He fills me in on everything that has happened in the last few days. He tells me he is sorry for what he did, he crossed the bro code and he felt terrible about that. This was my life sworn enemy I was speaking to... The man who helped tear up my family of 13 years... But, he told me the jist.
He began telling me, that this guy and my WS got in an argument a few days ago. WS's boyfriend was pissed and jealous because she was talking to her old AP. So the new boyfriend basically held her hostage and beat her up for 2 days. One of the nights my kids were there....He told me this guy was in a gang, and got released from a halfway house recently. (that explains what my WS said back in Nov. about his living situation) He told me that he told her that if she called the cops he will shoot up my house. He has been threatening my WS's AP for a few days. He goes on to tell me also that my WS told him to call the cops, and he did. He basically helped me out a lot today... And I actually thanked him. He even said, he was very sorry for what he did, he made a mistake, and that my WS was like talking to a wall.. She's stupid and just not worth fucking up his life over and having me after him.. He gave me the cops number as well as the new BF's number...
Life's strange aint it? Just wait, it gets
I leave and as I am leaving I pass the fuzz that is responding to the call. I get a few emails from my WS. She tells me that he is a great guy, that loves Jesus (my WS got really into church because of this guy...She is a very impressionable person... A follower..) and he has a personality flaw that makes him act like that. She said all those pictures are old and he had changed his ways.... She told me that he is very very good with the kids, and that he was even going to be a third grade teacher....She even told me that I need to stop harassing her, and that she is going to date and I need to get over it!!! (she literally thinks this, she is living in some alternate world... Did she forget I have not spoken a word or sentence to her in 7 weeks because I am moving on with my life?) More gaslighting and such was also thrown into the mix, as well as calling ME a liar
I hear all of this, and I am fuming. I dont know what to do. I have the kids right now until next Friday. No way I am letting them go back to that house. There isnt even any hot water right now because she has not paid the propane company. I got an email saying the electrical will be turned off because again, not paid! I just sent her half of our $3000 dollar stim check... Out of the niceness of my heart. Because I knew she needed it, and half was actually hers... All I got was a thank you email. (this was a few weeks ago) There is no reason for my children not to be able to take a warm shower...
Once I get home, I'm still trying to process this. My girl is so good, she hugs me and helps me cope.
I get another text from the AP again. This time it's the new boyfriend screen shoting what my WS said to him said in a text messege... He is trying to piss off my WS's old AP... The texts is my WS saying that she did not press charges against him, and that she loved him and knows it was a mistake.
So... Now I am in child protective mode. I fill in my lawyer of the happenings. We have a meeting 2morrow. We are both very concerned about the safety of the kiddoes. I spoke with my daughter who is not quite yet a teenager, and asked her if she heard mommy and her bf fighting at night... She said for 2 nights in a row, she heard them fighting and mommy crying. Her little eyes started to well up and so did mine. I'm sick to my stomach now... I could careless about my WS's down-spiraling life, but now she's bringing down my kids, and also putting them in extreme danger... Good thing its not her decision to press charges but the prosecutors..
So yah.. This is my world now. Wish me luck.
[This message edited by subverted at 12:30 AM, February 11th (Thursday)]