SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Quick update.

It was my day to drop the kiddos off with her. which now im thinking I should have kept them.........

My dr perscribed me Klopin for dsealing with this mess. He only gave me a few and I use them when i need to. She knows i have them.

All morning she was telling me how sorry she was, and how she wants her family back ect.

When I went to meet her to drop off the kids she kept asking me to give her some klonopins. When I told her no, that's illegal. she literally turned into a different person. I know addict mentality when i see one. She hates me now. She has threatened me. ect. just another nail in the coffin of our marriage.

I feel sorry for the next man to be with this downward spiraling whore of a wife I have.

that’s the spirit homey... keep that attitude. she’s trying to use you at every angle. kindness for pills, i’m assuming sex for security.... be careful with that by the way. if it’s the only hand she’s got left she’ll try to play the shit out of it, but it’s all for HER gain. all this back stepping bullshit is because SHE has something to lose now. don’t hang around at the start of the tunnel, that’s how you ended up in the tunnel to start with. the light at the end is that way 👉🏻 don’t stray from the plan and keep moving forward

[This message edited by reborn07 at 9:37 PM, November 15th (Sunday)]

When I went to meet her to drop off the kids she kept asking me to give her some klonopins. When I told her no, that's illegal. she literally turned into a different person. I know addict mentality when i see one. She hates me now. She has threatened me. ect. just another nail in the coffin of our marriage.

I feel sorry for the next man to be with this downward spiraling whore of a wife I have.

Make sure you carry a VAR every time you interact in person with her, in case she tries false DV charges against you and use that as leverage.

Subverted: Was she like this about pills/etc before her affair?

I've seen a couple stories online where getting into an affair was combined with meth. Prince Charming might have been introducing her to a very nasty, addictive drug and the affair was incidental, not even the main focus.

Could explain her desperation to spring him from jail, if he's getting her her fixes.

We were both heavy into drugs when we met. I have 12 years clean under my belt.

Unfortunately i fear she js slipping back into her old ways.

Not sure if AP has that much to do with it, but yeah...who knows.

So you’ve filed, right???

My lawyer is filing today.

Her new thing is, since shes staying at the marital house, I get about 100 texts per day complaining about how everything is broke, the softener needs salt, the pools turning green, the grass needs to be cut, this is leaking ect ect. I told her the only way I am coming there and working on MY house is if she isn't there. She wont accept that. She says that's me being selfish!!!! I cant believe this women sometimes.

If only she could hear herself.

Am I doing the right thing by staying away and not giving into what shes demanding?

Am I doing the right thing by staying away and not giving into what shes demanding?

Unless there are any legal ramifications (you will need to consult your lawyer about that, cue: abandonment), stay out of it. It's a power play and she's trying to control you and the situation.

She is sobbing everyday, texting me, telling me she so sorry, she cant move or do anything she is so depressed. Asking me to come see her everyday.....

That's the addiction talking.

Back about 10 years ago a Detroit woman who my STBXW knew conspired with her OM to murder her husband for insurance money. She apparently left the house the prior day on the pretense she was traveling out of town, but she actually returned late the next night after her husband had gone to bed, let the OM in the back door and watched as he beat her husband to death with an iron pipe, right there in their marital bed.

She apparently broke down in hysterics at his funeral and had to be sedated and hospitalized. My STBXWW was there and saw it. She said it looked like she really was grieving the loss of her husband terribly. About two weeks later they arrested her and the OM and they are now both doing life without parole.

A morally bankrupt woman like your WW can cry on demand. Crying is another tool in her manipulation belt. Those are crocodile tears. Don't buy into them.

She apparently left the house the prior day on the pretense she was traveling out of town, but she actually returned late the next night after her husband had gone to bed, let the OM in the back door and watched as he beat her husband to death with an iron pipe, right there in their marital bed.

Sweet Jesus. Suddenly I feel like I've had a relatively easy time of it.

this is a pretty typical angle subverted ... she is trying to keep you involved. familiar.... she is also used to her problems being your problems. that’s a hard convenience to give up. it’s probably not gonna come and go on it’s own. you’ll probably have to break that shit up. with that said, also consider this along the way. i would do what i needed to do to protect the equity in the home. when you find the opportunity to sell that bitch, sell it. split equity however necessary, dump all the shit in the front yard, split it down the middle, bitch bye 👋🏻 this will be a problem until you work out something better. also textbook move, just handle it the best way you can for now. this is just me, navigating the same situation. she couldn’t pay for the house, i didn’t want the house. i also felt that along with all the triggers, if i didn’t sell it i would be living in OUR house and it would be hard to have a new norm marinating in the shit from my old life. also, it would keep her in pursuit of trying to get her old life back. she’s gonna keep trying to keep you involved though, just do what you need to do to protect your equity, but don’t let her use it as a catalyst to communicate .... you’re headed the right way though, just listen to your lawyer and keep doing what you’re doing

Thanks again for the advice reborn.

Your words make my day.

I'm still chugging along. She wants sex, and she lives in my house 5 mins from where i work.

It's hard, but I wont go. Going to have to make the sacrifice for now.

She tells me how sad, depressed ect. even suicide.

Not falling for it.

Subverted,

Not falling for it.

Good on ya mate! Keep that mindset up. Remember - she fired you from the husband role with her adultery. Tell her to call her AP and have him come fix all of her issues.

JFC...the gall some of these cheaters. I mean - WTF??

Sending you hugs and strength. Stay strong good sir.

Friend, don't take what I'm about to say as legal advice.

I'm a lawyer. For a long time I was a lawyer you didn't want. I defended people charged with some particularly harsh things, like murder and rape.

If you want to stop yourself from having sex with her think about this. The number of people I represented with hep c and other sexually transmitted diseases was astounding. Don't play that game.

Second, a lot of guys inside will pull these scams on women. I've seen it happen. It's insane and I can't make logical sense of it. The AP is a sex offender and, if he is, then it's likely that someone else will get wind of the scam and start demanding that she put money on his books for 'protection' or something. It could theoretically drain all of your money, and quickly. Debt can explode in this situation. Good idea to file.

Second, there is a strong possibility you're going to have to take full custody of your kids, at least at some point. Her father has a past that might involve sex crimes. No judge in their right mind wants to put kids in that situation. So if she goes to live with dad... Second, no judge wants to give custody to a woman that's in love with a convicted child molester. It's just not done.

Even if your wife gets custody of some sort, my guess is she is going to blow it up. And badly. Your kids will be scared in this. You may have a long fight on your hands.

The reason I say this is that you need to get away from her for your kids sake. It's just not possible to stay. She's dangerous. She's dangerous to you and dangerous to your kids.

When this starts to go south for her... And it will... Expect false claims. It's all she will have left. Her boyfriend will likely inform her how to do it. A lot of guys on here need to keep a VAR on them at all times, but you it's not even an option. She's dangerous. One false rape or assault allegation and bam, you're in jail too and fighting and uphill battle. Seriously. I have seen this actually happen.

Don't get near her. Your kids need you.

Right now, you've escaped. You get close to her again, and you might not.

She's not just a damsel in distress, or a person that made some bad hurtful decisions... She's having sex with sex offenders in the back of a car, being dropped off like a prostitute, funding the guy's prison account with your money and likely lying about a BUNCH of other stuff you haven't yet cought. She is dangerous. Do not go near her. You'll get pulled into a very ugly world and your kids will risk being without their dad.

Also, one other quick thing you should know... Westway is right about the caseworker. But, also know, the detention centers normally tape all the calls. A common scheme is that she would put money on another inmates books and then he would use the other inmate account to call her. Let the caseworker know, like westway says, that he is contacting her and that she has kids. Tell the caseworker to listen to his phonecalls. And, maybe the caseworker can ask the guard to keep an eye out for when AP uses the phone.

I've seen so many cases go south when someone pulls the inmate phone accounts.

How would you feel is AP was talking to her about your kids on there? Just a thought.

Run man. Seriously, run. If you have to speak with her record it. The woman is dangerous and desperate. Don't go home. Don't be around her. Also, use your phone to track your movements in case she makes up some harassment thing. You might need to be able to prove where you were and when. If I sound crazy to you then realize it comes from real life experience.

no thanks needed subverted, just wanna help a guy that’s walkin in the shoes i used to wear. i don’t wanna call bullshit on the suicide thing because that’s a loaded gun, but it sounds like a desperate tool to get you to break.(i don’t know her, i desperately hope i’m not wrong here) everything you do now and everything you give up and every impulse that you ignore is an investment for a better life later. i know ya wanna feel something right this second. u wanna feel like you’re relevant. don’t let what she did to you let you define yourself. focus on the task at hand. focus on your kids, your finanaces, and the security that you and your children need. everything else will fall into place. not to be shallow here, but when your confidence finds its way back in, there’s plenty of pretty gals that’ll be lookin for a good guy.... and they’ll make her sorry. and they’ll make her sick. and when you get some revenge, you won’t even want it. you’ll just want her to find somebody else so she’ll leave you the fuck alone. just focus on the now, and the later will work itself out ✌🏻

[This message edited by reborn07 at 10:35 PM, November 15th (Sunday)]

My friend had an alcoholic wife. She was drunk and he took her keys so she wouldn’t drive drunk and kill someone.

She went outside and smashed her face in the car door. Then called the cops on a domestic violence charge on her H (my friend).

Luckily his adult children were home and verified the H didn’t do anything. He was in handcuffs. He was being led away.

Do not put yourself in that position. It’s hard to prove you didn’t do something if you are within 2 feet of her.

She’s not above saying or doing anything to get her way. And if she’s angry enough and she wants to hurt you - she will lie about a domestic violence charge.

Again,

Thank you all for the kind words. I view them as gold.

Right now is a struggle.

She finally got her prescriptions filled, said she "found" a klonopin in her purse. So of course shes feeling more confident now. Instead of telling me she fucked up and misses me, she feels the her dirty old self again. Coming up with schemes on top of schemes/ using the kids as leverage.

This is her plan. She is going to keep the marital house (everything is in my name) and get a part time job. She is going to sell weed (You need a permit to do so in Michigan, or else its a felony) and make youtube videos to pay me rent. All this so the kids can stay in the same school.

Meanwhile, I am living at my parents house which is a 35 minute drive to work. 30 dollars in gas for 2.5 days. Its getting old. I would get them on my days off 50/50.

She tries to sweeten the deal by telling me she will give me food from her government food stamps!!!

Anyways,

Her mom lives in a town that has another city close to where I will be moving. there is a bus stop to that school within 10 minutes of both of us. wouldn't it make logical sense to put the kids in school there? She dosn't wanna have any of what i say.

How old are your children? Switching schools could be a good or bad decision depending upon their preference.

Just another issue to add to the mix. Sorry for you.