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I wonder if he or she has cheated

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landclark posted 10/25/2020 18:40 PM

I often find myself wondering if people have cheated. I’ll talk to somebody at work and think “they seem nice. I wonder if they’ve cheated on their spouse.”

Does anybody else find themself doing this?

leafields posted 10/25/2020 18:51 PM

Once in a while, but not very often. Usually, it's because they've said something or done something that set my spidey sense tingling.

LemonSpearmint posted 10/25/2020 19:13 PM

I totally get that. It's almost like I want to take a survey of everyone at work. Ask them if they have and why they did etc.
Keep having to remind myself no one would appreciate me asking.

Justsomeguy posted 10/25/2020 19:26 PM

I do it when meeting new people. Ain't baggage great?

crazyblindsided posted 10/25/2020 19:27 PM

What is bad is that I think this with overly happy couples, like it’s not possible to be that happy 😑 ugh.

Unhinged posted 10/25/2020 19:35 PM

I don't do it so much anymore. Once upon a time, though, I suppose I was desperately seeking some "kindred spirits." Statistically speaking, at least one in four couples I know have experienced infidelity. I'll probably never know which ones.

Thumos posted 10/25/2020 19:41 PM

All the time.

landclark posted 10/25/2020 19:43 PM

I don’t think of it as looking for kindred spirits. Maybe morbid curiosity?

crazyblindsided, I think that as well.

ibonnie posted 10/25/2020 19:51 PM

Uh... yeah. If cheating is as prevalent as the studies say, then like... there's a 50% chance someone you're interacting with either is or has been a cheater, right?

The1stWife posted 10/26/2020 06:00 AM

I do it often. Just wonder — is this person the cheater or betrayed?

veryhurt2018 posted 10/26/2020 06:06 AM

I do this with everyone I meet. It's really sad. I never even thought of it before D-day, but now I feel like it's the first thing on my mind when I meet someone.

Chaos posted 10/26/2020 06:37 AM


Jambomo posted 10/26/2020 08:42 AM

I do sometimes.

I also realise I see it when people get married, I think "5 years down the line you'll be divorcing because he has cheated". Apologies to men, its my own experience and bias that makes me think it'll be him! Not that I don't know well enough that women cheat too.

StrugglingCJ posted 10/26/2020 11:29 AM

Now I am part of the club you never wanted or asked to join.. I do see things in a different light.. I hear our friends talk of what is going on in their lives.. And there are times I am listening and thinking.. Red flag.. Red flag..red flag..

There was one occasion I did actually connect the dots fully.. Messaged them privately to outright ask... Then directed them here.. unfortunately 😔😔

sisoon posted 10/26/2020 11:35 AM

Sure. I pretty much stopped after 2-3 years of healing.

[This message edited by sisoon at 11:36 AM, October 26th (Monday)]

Tanner posted 10/26/2020 11:51 AM

Yes, I look at people and assume one is a cheater and one is a betrayed.

When I hear of someone getting married, I feel bad for them.

hikingout posted 10/26/2020 14:16 PM

When I hear of someone getting married, I feel bad for them.

One of our daughters just got married and the other one is getting ready too :-( I find myself worried about the one who is getting ready to, I think either they have a really honest relationship or he has boundary issues. To make things worse, I just found out his father had been cheating on their mother.

J707 posted 10/26/2020 15:56 PM

Not so much. I do however have an extreme sense of awareness of who or what a person is by the way they speak, handle things, handle their lives or problems that arise. Seeing the true character in an individual.

IwillSurvive2020 posted 10/26/2020 16:05 PM

Yes. But I'm very "new" into this world, so I'm guessing I will do this for quite some time until it's no longer the #1 thing on my mind.

JanaGreen posted 10/26/2020 19:12 PM

I used to, but not anymore. Divorce & distance.

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