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General :
Taking a swipe or two at the fW.

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 Notaboringwife (original poster member #74302) posted at 12:24 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

I took a swipe at my husband the other day in response to a comment he made. It just came out and I was surprised at myself how easily the words just formed. I was sarcastic. I suppose his comment hit my button.

He mentioned something about infidelity and I said sarcastically ´you tried that already, and it did not work out for you did it?´

Does anyone else have swipes to share?

fBW. My scarred heart has an old soul.

posts: 401   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2020
id 8851815
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WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 12:35 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

SOOOO many times I wanted to fire away with a snarky comment but I just remind myself that it may make me feel good in the moment but doesn't help in the long run

D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...

posts: 133   ·   registered: Aug. 16th, 2024
id 8851818
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Webbit ( member #84517) posted at 12:55 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

So many have come out. And I have been surprised many times how crass and nasty I can be in the heat of the moment. Here are a couple:

1. ‘I have told you my number 1 requirement from you is better communication, oh other than fucking other women’.

2. ‘Maybe you would read my messages or emails properly if I attached pictures of boobs’.

3. ‘Do you like what I’m wearing? I mean I know it’s not the slutty dresses you usually like’

4. ‘What was your end game? Start dating her, go and meet her Mum and Dad, I mean at least you’d be close in age’

And I’ll stop there. I’m not proud of what I say sometimes but I know it must come from deep down rooted anger because I don’t usually go around talking like that 😂

Webbit

posts: 167   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2024   ·   location: Australia
id 8851819
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 4:47 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

Not a comment, but an action:

A couple of days after DDay, I turned onto our street and saw my H crossing to get to our neighbor's house. I threw the car into neutral and revved the engine. He almost shit himself. It was glorious! I still chuckle about that. laugh

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1544   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8851849
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:03 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

I don't think my swipes at xWS ever stopped. He was never remorseful though and put me through multiple D-Days and False R.

I also was not cut out for R.

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8899   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8851854
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 5:43 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

In the beginning of the Reconciliation stage, I brought up every negative thing he told me about myself during his affair.

Not so proud moments include me saying things like "why do you want to Reconcile? You said XYZ".

I brought up how he said I never loved him, he’s been unhappy for years, I never apologize etc.

I did not make Reconciliation easy that’s for sure.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 5:50 PM, Tuesday, October 22nd]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14173   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8851858
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Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 5:46 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

Raises hand to admit guilt !

✋️

grin

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5539   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 8851859
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 6:11 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

One of my favorites was early in the process she was still being defensive. She said "I know I screwed up". I said "No honey you definitely screwed down". 🤣🤣🤣

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3591   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8851864
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 6:26 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

I haven't taken a swipe at her in a long time. Hard to remember the details of some of the swipes I took in the first couple years, but I definitely took them.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2791   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8851867
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Nanatwo ( member #45274) posted at 6:48 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

I admit I can be a real bitch when I am angry - no filter - I say the first thing that comes to mind. The first year there were a lot of swipes.

We were watching a show where a husband asks out a women shortly after his wife's death. My husband said "His wife has only been dead a week and already he is asking out another women." My reply, "At least he waited until she was dead to start dating."

Shortly after D-day a commercial came on for the restaurant where they would go on their "dates" and he commented that their food was crap. I looked at him like he was crazy and said "I guess it's not the food that's important when you know you'll get fucked after the meal."

Not proud - but c'mon - you'd have to be a saint not to say anything when they say something so absurd shocked

Time heals what reason cannot. Seneca

First the truth. Then, maybe, reconciliation. Louise Penny

posts: 620   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2014   ·   location: Indiana
id 8851874
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WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 9:18 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

@Nanatwo. Remind me to never get on your bad side :)

D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...

posts: 133   ·   registered: Aug. 16th, 2024
id 8851894
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OnTheOtherSideOfHell ( member #82983) posted at 9:54 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

I absolutely take swings at any hypocritical judgement coming from him about anyone! (Except affair partner, F her). But, even when he says something negative about someone I don’t care for I can’t help but add "you have no room to judge considering you’ve behaved much worse". I don’t care who it is, actors, political candidates, world leaders, neighbors, etc…. He needs to STFU as he has behaved every bit as reprehensibly.

posts: 232   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2023   ·   location: SW USA
id 8851896
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 12:22 AM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2024

On the other side
So true that the people they used to overtly mock are doing the same sorts of things they were actually covertly doing…

"At least he waited until she was dead to start dating"

This ^^^ savage nana savage but so accurate

I don’t get within miles and preferably hundreds of miles or more of exwh. I never intent to ever see him again. That said, I did have someone say something to me about him the other day and I said that a lack of integrity is not gonna age well
I guess that’s the closest I will get to a verbal swipe from afar

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1759   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8851905
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ThisIsSoLonely ( Guide #64418) posted at 9:11 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2024

There have been many over the years - but it's been so long I can hardly even fish out the context under which they were said.

I do recall once that my WH was lamenting how he now has zero social life and never does anything with anyone (the A was at the workplace and AP and OBS both worked there and all of his social group was also there - now he is a pariah - gets invited to nothing etc) - but this was early going after the A had been outed at his job and everyone was taking shit about him behind of and in front of him so the sting of his new reality was very fresh (as an aside at the time I was rather happy the consequences for him were so astoundingly harsh - but it's so freaking high school there - people would be petrified if I were to out his job based on these people's behaviors).

He was a bit drunk and having a woe is me moment and he was mad about this happening - the talk, the cold shoulder, the judgment of others - like somehow he hadn't done it to himself. He then blurted out that someone had a big party at their house a few days before and he was not invited, and no one even told him about it, and he only knew at all because he overheard someone talking about it. This was a party that he (we) definitely would have been invited to before. And he was looking to me as a shoulder to cry on or something - just completely ignoring the A and all that he had done - and genuinely believing that I was going to console him or talk shit about how unfairly he was being treated so something.

I recall looking at him in disbelief, like he had lost his fucking mind, that he was actually talking to ME and whining about how his A had ruined his friendships and fucked up his workplace, and saying:

Yeah, its too bad. Who would have thought that two years ago you were getting laid by multiple women almost every day and now you have to masturbate at home alone? Crazy.

I looked him straight in the eyes and smirked and walked off.

I'm sure I said a lot of other zingers but that one is the one that popped into my head first.

[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 9:11 PM, Wednesday, October 23rd]

You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.

Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts

posts: 2488   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2018
id 8851967
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5Decades ( member #83504) posted at 8:28 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2024

In a very difficult and hot discussion, he said to me "you always get so angry!"

Without blinking I said, "You always f*ck other women, so there’s that."

5Decades BW 68 WH 73 Married since 1975

posts: 156   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2023   ·   location: USA
id 8852042
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 4:17 PM on Friday, October 25th, 2024

I've held my tongue over the years. But early on I just got tired of hearing how LTAP kept threatening [insert stupid bullshit here] and would respond "Oh...so you were fucking her to protect me?"

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3893   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8852137
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Petunia ( member #52381) posted at 6:05 PM on Friday, October 25th, 2024

During the time of false reconciliation - before I knew the extent of his cheating, the serial cheating ex-WH was explaining to me that the reason he had his affair was because he was looking for love and happiness.

I paused, looked at him incredulously and said, "I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to find love and happiness between another woman’s legs".

He agreed. 🤷‍♀️

Me: BS
D - 8/2018

posts: 62   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2016   ·   location: Northeast
id 8852166
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Hopeful0729 ( new member #67614) posted at 9:38 PM on Friday, October 25th, 2024

We were playing trivia with a group of friends at a local pub. One of our friends mentioned a team had been eliminated for cheating and we needed to be careful about perception and put our phones away. WH replied indignantly "I would never cheat! That's an insult to my integrity!" My eyes rolled back so far I immediately snapped "you won't cheat at trivia but you'll fuck a whore behind my back. Got it." Kinda ruined the night 😂

Me 44
WH 60
4 kids
D-day 8/27/18
Reconciled
WH had PA with former COW

posts: 49   ·   registered: Oct. 24th, 2018   ·   location: Richmond, VA
id 8852229
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Eric1964 ( new member #84524) posted at 9:54 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2024

I never do this.

The nearest I got: my WW and I were watching a dating show, and she asked me which of the men I'd match her with. I told her I couldn't do it, and I like to think she understood why. Games like that are fine in faithful marriages, but not where there's been infidelity.

WW always had a not-entirely negative attitude to affairs.Affair with ex-coworker, DDay1 2009-12-31; affair resumed almost immediately, DDay2 2010-06-11. Sex life poor. Possibly other affair(s) before 2009.

posts: 31   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2024   ·   location: West Yorkshire, UK
id 8852410
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standinghere ( member #34689) posted at 8:52 AM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2024

Wow, just so many responses that fit to a T.

My FWS has always been more judgmental about such things than I have.

I have had to bite my tongue on so many occasions that I have lost count. Someone who hit on her, that she didn't tell me about until she confessed her prior affair, died and there has been some family drama around his memorial service (his family, not ours). She mentioned this controversy yesterday as their children had recently invited us to the memorial. I was very diplomatic in my response.


What I want to say "Why would you think I give a shit about his family issues, whether he is dead or living?".

It's like she has forgotten that he tried to get in her pants and she didn't tell me for years and we continued to socialize with them.

FBH - Me - Betrayal in late 30's (now much older)
FWS - Her - Affair in late 30's (now much older )
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled BUT!

posts: 1697   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 8852444
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