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Off Topic :
Need all the mojo and prayers i can get please

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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 2:11 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

I'm in to much shock to explain but I ask if you have any mojo or prayers to spare please send them my way.

Thanks

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25799   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8828333
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:21 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Sending mojo, Dragn.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3584   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8828335
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 2:28 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Sending prayers and mojo.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3605   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8828336
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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 3:04 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Sending mojo

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

posts: 13491   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Washington State
id 8828342
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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 3:04 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

And farts

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

posts: 13491   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Washington State
id 8828343
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 3:54 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Praying for you!

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1183   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8828346
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 3:55 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Prayers, mojo, and hugs, sweet lady.

Me-58 FWH-60 Married 40 years 9/2/2023 grown daughters-40&36.14yo GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); 12yo GD & 7yo GD(DD36). D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8903   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8828347
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 4:55 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Thank you everyone.

I got a call from my youngest brother at midnight. My other brother had died in his sleep. He hadn't felt well for a while, came down from his room yesterday to check on my parents then went back to bed. He never woke up. My mother went to check on him some hours later and he was gone.

Coroner said it was heart failure.

We are just shaken. I'm trying to stay strong for the kids but the tears just won't stop.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25799   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8828361
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 5:10 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

I’m so very sorry, Dragn. crying Hugs to you and your family.

Me-58 FWH-60 Married 40 years 9/2/2023 grown daughters-40&36.14yo GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); 12yo GD & 7yo GD(DD36). D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8903   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8828362
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 5:35 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

I'm so sorry Dragn. Hugs and prayers for you and your family. crying

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3605   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8828366
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 5:41 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

It's a shocker for sure. Don't worry about crying in front of your kids. That's a huge and real loss. You need to allow your kids to see you grieve that's normal.

I hope prayers and MOJO give you some strength and peace during this terribly difficult time.

What a way to make an exit. No pain no suffering. Terribly difficult for the family but so lucky for him. Remember that he left without pain and suffering. That may give you peace as well.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20207   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8828368
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 5:51 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Thank you everyone.


I hope prayers and MOJO give you some strength and peace during this terribly difficult time.

Trust me it helps. When I finally got the kids to sleep I just sat alone trying to make sense of it all. It was really lonely.

What a way to make an exit. No pain no suffering. Terribly difficult for the family but so lucky for him. Remember that he left without pain and suffering. That may give you peace as well.

That's exactly what I told the kids. That of all the ways he could have passed this was the best way. He simply didn't wake up.

My mom and brother are riddled eith guilt for not checking on him sooner. My mom kept saying maybe they could have saved him. I had to assure her that even if she had checked on him sooner he was probably gone not long after he went back to bed. Their trauma is deep.

I had text him yesterday morning and not gotten a response. I planned to call the house to talk to him then got caught up in other stuff. If only I had called. But focusing on the what ifs won't change things now. He's gone.

Service is next week. On his birthday.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25799   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8828371
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:23 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

Sending the deepest of condolences, dragon. What a terrible shock and so so sad.. It was clear your family is very close and all love each other very much. What an unfair tragedy to happen to you all.
Sending you virtual hugs and hoping that all your wonderful memories bring you a little bit of peace in this terrible terrible time.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6069   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8828409
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 8:31 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

I'm so sorry to hear about this, given everything else you're juggling. I remember eight months after finding out about that thing we don't mention in this forum, two of my brothers died eleven days apart (for separate reasons). When the first one died, I got the call as I was leaving a week-long workshop in AZ for women who'd been through what we don't mention here. I was on my way to the airport to fly home. I didn't know if I was going to be able to get on that plane. It took a lot of Xanax (well, for me), and one of the workshop participants stayed with me until I boarded. It was awful trying to process grief while going through something else traumatic, unrelated to the death.

So know that processing one loss may come at the temporary expense of the other. It's almost too much to handle at one time, so your psyche compartmentalizes what it needs to so you can function in the immediate crisis. Be good to yourself and set boundaries where appropriate. And reach out to those who can support you.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1333   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8828410
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 9:29 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

It's almost too much to handle at one time

It's definitely to much.

I find I'm ok one minute then breaking down the next.

I called his best friend this morning. The one I consider an adoptive brother. They had been close as brothers since kindergarten. He is devastated. My brother was well known and loved by so many. The number of messages we have received is overwhelming.

The range of emotions expressed amazes me. Some people are so angry. My mom is cycling through them. She's angry that he had been going to the doctor so much and can't understand how they missed congestive heart failure. My other brother broke down on the phone with me. First time I have seen him cry like that since our grandmother passed.

My father is just quiet. Not really expressing emotion yet.

He was only 41 years old. Way to young for this to happen. It still feels like a bad dream.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25799   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8828416
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 9:40 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

So sorry Dragn.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5612   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8828418
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 10:10 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

I am very sorry for your loss.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30051   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8828423
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dontsaylovely ( member #43688) posted at 11:36 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2024

I'm so sorry Dragn. Way too young to go. My brother was also young but fought in hospital for 6months. Doesn't help you/survivors but going to sleep and not waking up great way for him to go. Horrible for his survivors. He did not suffer. Take peace in that. Prayers to you.

DDay: March 15, 2014

posts: 194   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8828435
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 12:30 AM on Tuesday, March 12th, 2024

Dragn, I am so sorry for this horrific loss. One never knows what to say at a time like this and "I'm Sorry" seems so little to say. My thoughts are with you, the kids, your parents and your brother. What a tremendous loss for all of you.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8828446
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:37 AM on Tuesday, March 12th, 2024

41 is definitely young unfortunately not unheard of.
Lean on your family. They are strong and you all will support each other through this.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20207   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8828451
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