Thank you very much for all your messages.
I want to give a small update on this, the third meet up did not happen on 24th of December. It was on 8th of January. (I made a mistake about the dates, I misunderstood her.) So she had almost like 19 days of flirting on the phone between the sex and foreplay(gift day), and we were like fighting and trying to solve the issue related to 20th of December, the gift day. (All the lies) She was sick at home, and she was begging me not to leave her whenever we argue during that period. We were also having sex like crazy. But still, she did have sex with him on 8th of January. I discovered where she went on the gift day from her tablet on 5th of January, but I waited for her to recover from sickness to say that. If I directly went to her, maybe she would not be with him on 8th of January. Because I took her to in front of the APs house on 9th and she ended the affair on 9th of January. She says she felt really scared that I figured everything out and did not want to lose me. When I ask her why she was not afraid when actually doing it, she says she thought I would never be able to figure it out, and she felt excited because she liked flirting with him and he made her feel highly valued. Also I was unable to ejaculate when having sex with her, she wanted to see if the problem is related to me or her. But I was taking care of her at home while she was sick and she was always expressing her grattitude towards me, sometimes even bursting into tears and saying she loves me. I cannot believe how someone can feel like this and do those things at the same time.
Today she will prepare me a letter with the full truth with a timeline, and I also have spoken to the AP to get some of the details if what she says was true. It seems like she is finally telling me the truth, but after all those lies, i am not sure if it still means something. The bad thing is, AP also did not know she was married and he was thinking that they were starting a relationship together. So she was acting like she was his girlfriend...
Whatever I faced in the last couple of months were really difficult for me. I am experiencing something like this for the first time in my life. Thank you very much for being here and helping everyone who faces issues like this. To be alone in these kind of situation might be devastating.
Yesterday, I also told her brother about the A. He was really mad at her at first, but then he calmed down and invited us for a dinner to talk about all this. I accepted but she refused. She says she is not ready to face her brother with this truth yet. So I did not push her for this and it is postponed.
Whenever I ask why she didnt tell me the truth on 11th of January, she says because of her fear of losing me. But this fear should have been triggered during the A, not afterwards. I told her like 10 times, If i would find any other lies, then I would leave her for good. So she should have told me the entire true story and the story she told turns out to be a lie again. I feel like it is time for me to keep my promise. My heart tells me to get away immediately because the longer I stay, the more my feelings towards her are taking control to affect my decision. I still love her and I mean it, but I am pretty sure I will go mad with excessive overthinking if I continue with someone I completely dont trust.
She also had an IC meeting today and she told me that she wants to get rid of all her bad personality traits and her lying habit. She says she is ready to do anything in her power, and IC also has given her a hope. I want to believe something good can come out from this relationship eventually, but I do not want to take any risks anymore.
I will talk to my IC about my thoughts as well and will try to make the best decision as much as I can in this period. I will also provide update here as well if something new comes up. Thank you very much everyone.