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Newest Member: Col2gar6681

Just Found Out :
Everythıng just changed in a day

Topic is Sleeping.
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PlanNine ( member #46311) posted at 3:36 PM on Friday, May 19th, 2023

The sad news, unfortunately, is that you will never be your old self again. It's gone forever, because the innocence you had at the time has been shattered. You've seen too much, and from reading these forums, you're too aware of something you weren't aware of before.

I will both agree and disagree, based on my own experience.

Like OP, the pre-infidelity me was also considerate and thoughtful, and I would also add a bit happy-go-lucky and devil-may-care. But I was also a bit naive and allowed too much of my individuality and sense of self to be subsumed by my marriage to exWW. I maybe took the whole "two become one" thing a bit too literally.

In the midst of infidelity, I became the same angry, anxious and bitter person that OP believes himself to be today. And I remained that way for some time, true. Things can get a bit bumpy when the pavement suddenly ends.

Post infidelity, I have (eventually) returned to my old, happy self...keeping the bits that I like, but ditching many of the parts that I do not. The parts that did not serve me well when my exWW turned out to be someone other than I had thought. I'm not exactly the same old person, no doubt about that, but I prefer to think of myself as improved rather than changed. With time and effort, OP can (and I believe will) regain those old, positive characteristics that he values about himself.

"I was also thinking, 'Maybe I'm not a bike racer.' I doubted myself for a while, but now I'm back on track. I may not be a bike racer, but I can beat plenty of them that reckon they are." - Guy Martin

posts: 477   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2015   ·   location: Florida
id 8791639
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1994 ( member #82615) posted at 1:43 AM on Saturday, May 27th, 2023

Hope things are continuing to go well. Have you made any progress with filing?

posts: 133   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2022   ·   location: USA
id 8792807
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 TheDesperateSilence (original poster new member #83034) posted at 11:44 AM on Saturday, May 27th, 2023

Hello everyone,

We just came to our home country, I am spending time with my own family here, which makes me a bit more relieved and relaxed. I have spoken to my attorney and we will sign the divorce papers on this monday. I do not demand anything and everything will be divided into two in half. I am a bit scared how things will go on my own, without my wife being there, because I got used to seeing her everyday and sharing all my life, experiences, stories with her. But I know that I can handle everything by myself and fully trust my capabilities. I am sure that I will miss her, I will miss all the moments we shared together, good and bad. But it is what it is. I have to move on and keep building my own life, as she does now.

She also stopped trying for the relationship and she is focusing on herself now. She accepted what we had is gone and started spending time with her friends, she is also staying with her family. I am also happy to see her moving on too.

Now is the time to focus on myself. When we get back, I will try to eat healthier, continue to work out regularly, do things which make me happy, make more time available for my friends who have been there for me all the time. No matter how I feel about what is gone, no matter how much I miss those old days, I will continue building for a better future. Thank you very much for all your support and care here. I will never forget this forum and after I settle with my new life, I will also try to help others here by sharing my experiences.

Whoever created this website and whoever helped people here like you did to me, thank you all!

posts: 11   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023   ·   location: Netherlands
id 8792819
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:08 PM on Saturday, May 27th, 2023

Glad you're with your family during this time. Working on you is an investment in your future.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3327   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8792821
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 2:00 PM on Saturday, May 27th, 2023

Thanks for the update. You are moving in a positive direction and taking care of you. You will get through this to a better place.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3877   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8792824
Topic is Sleeping.
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