My ex, with whom I share 2 children with(now adults) was the Disney parent.
He was the fun dad. At his house, they could watch scary movies(since they were 5), eat nothing but junk, no homework, didn't have to bathe,or brush their teeth. He was their friend. Not much parenting went on.
I was the mom who had rules. Who made them clean their rooms,and themselves. I was the one who said no to movies they were too young to understand, and gave them nightmares. I was the parent who cooked good meals,even though candy and hot dogs would have been easier. I was also their friend,but I parented the kids.
I went through the same thing. When they were younger, they preferred dad's. No rules, all fun. When they were teens,they always wanted to spend weekends there (but only on his court appointed weekends, of course. Because he deserved a life, you see). They had no curfew,and he would buy alcohol occasionally (I found that out years later).
He always was so sure that I was jealous of their relationship. That,by them loving him,I felt it somehow diminished my relationship with them.
He was so wrong.
They're adults now. Well into their 20s.
He's still the fun dad. They go to the movies with him. They have a once a year food tour they go on.
I have all of that as well. I'm also the only parent that they call when they are hurting. When they've had a bad day. When they need advice on anything. When my daughter was out for a jog,and thought she was being followed,it was me she called. When they are sick,or scared, they call me. When something tragic hits, it's me they turn to..and a few times..they asked me to tell their dad,because they didn't want to.
Yes, he had fun with them. And, yes, they love him very much. And he loves them very much. I'm ok with that. I want that for them. But I am not jealous of it. I'm proud of my relationship with those kids. I know them. All sides of them. I know them better than he does. And for that, I am blessed. Actually, I feel bad for him. Because I have the better relat with both of them.
So, it's ok if he's the fun dad. Trust me. That won't replace what you have with them. Not even a tiny bit.
[This message edited by HellFire at 3:09 AM, Monday, June 20th]