Everything is OK...just OK...I guess, I don’t know.
Not sure how to tell you guys this. I've been honest here...my story is real...I'm not putting you on...I'm not pulling your leg...I know I have not followed some sound advice, you're not wrong...I'm doing my best, I hope you won't leave my side.
STBXWW wanted to talk to me about "recreating our marriage." She asked if I wanted to try conciliation and a post nup agreement.
That's what she wanted to talk about.
Essentially the divorce decree would be written and agreed to, no court battles, equitable division of assets that are basically already agreed to, I would buy the new house, current house will be moved to her name only (both closings already scheduled), all property legally divided (like the cars, utilities in one name only, etc)...and we would stay married? Work on our marriage? I have no idea what that looks like in practice, but I might find out.
I don't know what to do. I still love her...why? I don't know. I'm still smoking hopium.
I'm still buying the new house, that's not stopping. Not sure I can back out at this point anyway. Closing in 2 weeks.
Conciliation would include counseling. She admits that all contact with AP would have to stop and has given assurances that the instruction to AP was provided to stop contacting her (I did not witness it and I was not shown the communication). She's searching for a counselor for us. The last MC was such a disaster, I'm terrified.
It's a weird situation and I'm sure many of you think I'm crazy.
I don't know if I can do it, I feel like she's doing that thing again where she mopes around because I just forced her to break up with her boyfriend...again (I think this is at least the 5th time).
We've been intimate, HB(?).
I'm going to try it. The divorce agreement will essentially be final...I now have a place to go immediately if things go bad.
I get excited when she tells me she wants to work things out...then reality sets in. I don't think I can do it, then I think maybe it can work, then I think I can't do it...then...
I've done this dance before..., many times.
I feel like I'm going to do the dance one more time and see what happens. The divorce will be done...the living arrangements will be done...if it doesn't work I can just step away immediately and with very little effort.
In 2 weeks I can just step away regardless of what happens...the new house will be mine.
Not sure I'm ready to move to the R forum, but maybe they have some advice for me. Has there ever been someone on the D and R forum at the same time?
I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm one year from dday...but probably more importantly I'm just weeks from her last encounter with AP. 8 to 10 months ago I would have welcomed this opportunity with open arms...now? Meh.
I'm open to your feedback, let me have it.