LegsWideShut ( member #80302) posted at 10:19 PM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022
You did what was best for you, and no one should try and make that sound like a bad thing. It isn't their life, their feelings, their heart. Those are all yours.
Personally I am glad you seem to be doing well.
Dude67 ( member #75700) posted at 3:28 AM on Friday, November 25th, 2022
Mr F. Your thread is extremely important and valuable. So many BHs post in JFO and swear up snd down that they now have the entire truth, so a poly is not necessary. It took a lot of convincing, but you eventually did the poly, and I think you would agree that this turned out to be critical.
Lalala12 ( new member #79196) posted at 8:22 PM on Friday, November 25th, 2022
For me, good advice is the one that challenges you a bit, even when it’s uncomfortable to hear. And that encourages you to find nuances and complexity in yourself and others where one is more used (or find it easier) to always hold your ground. I’m not sure you are a guy who likes to be challenged much? …
But really, it's your life, no one else has to live it and no one here can really know you or know the real people in your life, apart the things you decide to share. Sometimes decisions are not even right or wrong but certainly letting go of the anger is a powerful healer.
All I can say from my own journey is that there are things (about yourself, others or a relashionship) that you process and understand only with time, even years down the line when other choices are not an option anymore. And the tricky thing is that they can look often different with distance.
I do wish you both well.
[This message edited by Lalala12 at 8:28 PM, Friday, November 25th]