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Newest Member: Goku06

Reconciliation :
R Land


Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 6:15 PM on Friday, April 9th, 2021

There is a trash can right outside the HOH I filled it up. Leave a lot of the garbage there.

The work you did in the House of Mirrors was excellent, you are the prize. He is lucky you invited him to R-Land. He needs to go get that turkey leg for you.

Recently I felt a small urge to go back to Trigger Tower but my W said “you sit here and finish the funnel cake, I got this”.

Great work on your journey so far, wishing you luck on this part.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1795   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8649306

 Underserving (original poster member #72259) posted at 4:44 AM on Saturday, April 10th, 2021

Oh yeah, dude for sure owes me a turkey leg! Lol He’s definitely participating in this one. Perhaps we will throw some of the garbage away together. Not quite ready to put it all there just yet, but a pretty good chunk of it.

I really believe he realizes how lucky he is to even be here in R-Land. He shows me on a daily basis. I’m finally able to let him without being snarky about it. Actually feeling worthy of such effort really helps with that.

I’ve discovered there is a kiddy version of trigger tower. It’s not near as high, and the drop isn’t quite as fast. I find myself more on that one than the adult version. Not to say I’ll never be buckled in for that ride ever again, but it’s nice to not experience it on a regular basis.

Thanks, Tanner, for always being one of my few. :)

[This message edited by Underserving at 10:44 PM, April 9th (Friday)]

BW (32)Found out 3 years post end of AD-day 12-9-19In R

Infidelity brings out the cuss in me. I’m not as foul mouthed in real life. ;)

posts: 775   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2019
id 8649420

couldnthappen ( new member #69234) posted at 12:12 AM on Saturday, April 24th, 2021

Thank you for this. As others have said it certainly hits the mark. I cannot seem to stay off of the That Time Together Was Wonderful so Brain Must Sabotage the “Up” with a Rug-Yank and a Freefall Back “Down” ride. Even when I'm enjoying a ride on the lazy river, I jump off and head back. Almost 2.5 years since Dday and these rides are exhausting!

Me: BS 55
Him: WH 55
Dday: 12/20/2018
Married 29 years
2 adult children
8 mo affair with SCOW

posts: 21   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2018
id 8653517

MangledHeart ( Webmaster) posted at 6:59 PM on Wednesday, September 14th, 2022

Bumped by request.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. ~Corrie Ten Boom

posts: 10000   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002   ·   location: The beach
id 8755253

Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 7:27 PM on Wednesday, September 14th, 2022

This thread is really good, some of the newer members to R might enjoy it.

Trigger Tower has been closed for maintenance for a while so me and my W are sitting outside the tunnel of love about to go in. 😀

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1795   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8755259

Hopeful0729 ( new member #67614) posted at 8:28 PM on Wednesday, September 14th, 2022

Underserving- thanks for this brilliant thread, really enjoying it. I love your insight.

Tanner- wow, awesome job keeping with the metaphors, Tunnel of Love is my goal!

GTR- ugh we are very close on D-day dates. Sending you strength.

I didn't know "Sabotage" was even a thing! I thought it was just me....FWH has pointed out many times we have a great day/night and the next day I am distant and angry 😠

Me 42
WH 59
4 kids
D-day 8/27/18
Working on R
WH had a 2-week PA with former COW

posts: 21   ·   registered: Oct. 24th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8755266

BreakingBad ( member #75779) posted at 11:20 PM on Wednesday, September 14th, 2022

This thread is renewed at just the right time for me.

We are heading out tomorrow evening for a 3-day belated anniversary trip--so Happy Times Teacups.

I will try to avoid Sabatoge Falls...but I do try to call it like I see it.

Yet, isn't that the rub? After the D-Day rollercoaster drops that are woven between walks down Trickle Truth Alley, after my fWH queuing us into all the longest lines (read foot dragging) for Healing Heights, it's hard to trust my judgment sometimes.

For me, sabotage & reality checks are holding hands together as I cling to the Protect-Myself-fencing that surrounds almost every ride in this damn park.

I try to unwind their grip from each other, I really do. But that fencing sustains me. I'm not ready to let go, and honestly, my fWH hasn't yet done all the work to make it a safe choice.

Still, I'm ready to enjoy and look for the good this weekend. Why waste a lovely break from work, etc?

Wish me well!

"Don't you love it, don't you love it?
No, I ain't happy yet.
But I'm way less sad."[Credit to group AJR]

Me=BW; fWH=online affairs with 3 APs over 2.5-3 yrs
Both in IC & MC
Married 31 yrs now
2 kids-both in HS
Attempting R

posts: 215   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2020
id 8755293

Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 2:33 AM on Thursday, September 15th, 2022

Wow. This is an amazing thread. I’m spending most of my time right now on the monorail of flatness, with side trips into a house of mirrors where I distrust my perception of everything—myself, my spouse, my marriage, my life . . .

My husband and I are having a weekend getaway this weekend. I want to be excited about it, but I just feel flat.

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020. DD2: 7/3/2020. Reconciling

posts: 230   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8755321

Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 2:17 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2022

OMG.....I love this thread. So apt! How about the trust, but verify carny game.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 269   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8755371

Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 5:29 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2022


The sabotage is a real thing. As you described, after a great time together, my brain would say "yea but" and anger would hit. It wasn’t until I started letting go of the anger that it calmed down.

BreakingBad and Grieving
Go enjoy the weekend, stay on the Happy Time Tea Cups.

Ladybugmaam I will never fully trust the Carny Games again, I stay away from them.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1795   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8755607
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