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maise posted 11/23/2020 15:33 PM

How did you know when you were done having kids?

DragnHeart posted 11/23/2020 16:18 PM

When the doctor told me i had a good chance of having another set of twins, or even triplets.

I had DD and the twins taken away and rushed to the NICU. Ds was able to be with me but i had a nurse in my room monitoring him before and after each feeding.

Wh and i had a hard time not beibg able to take our children home. He talked alot about me gettibg mu tubes tied when the twins were born by c section. We agreed it was best.

Four years later he expressed regret at not having more kids.

Im happy with four.

Lionne posted 11/23/2020 19:34 PM

Two bedrooms two kids. Never wanted mine to have to share. And i thought we would manage two college tuition fees.

[This message edited by Lionne at 7:35 PM, November 23rd (Monday)]

tushnurse posted 11/23/2020 20:14 PM

As a nurse knowing all the possible things that can go wrong I'm amazed any babies come out ok.
I was blessed with 2 healthy ones. I was done. Plus I always only wanted 2 and that did not change.

HFSSC posted 11/23/2020 20:34 PM

We really wanted a third child. I got pregnant when ds22 was 7 or 8 months old. Not what weíd planned for. It took me a couple of weeks to come around to the idea and just as soon as I began to think it would be kinda fun to have them close together, I miscarried. I was 32 then. Because of my experience in obstetric nursing I set 35 as my cutoff. My pregnancies were not easy at all. I had hyperemesis gravidarum (horrible, horrible round the clock vomiting) all 3 of my pregnancies and preeclampsia with 1 and 3. I also have extremely aggressive antibodies against type A blood and both boys were severely jaundiced. So we decided if I hadnít gotten pregnant by age 35 we were done. I had my hysterectomy less than 2 weeks after my 35th birthday. (Perks of working for my Ob/Gyn doctor.

I had grade 2-3 uterine prolapse and severe adenomyosis. My periods were horrible and (TMI) even if I wasnít done having babies, we had to be able to do the required activity. And my, um, garage was already full, and no double parking was allowed, lol.

Arenít you glad you asked?

WhatsRight posted 11/23/2020 21:44 PM

I always wanted every baby that I held in my arms. I wanted to steal them and take them home. Probably because I couldnít have any on my own.

H and I got pregnant once. Found out we were pregnant on our 1st anniversary - which happened to be Motherís Day. Then, sadly, a miscarriage.

Then we adopted our first son, and getting our next child turned into getting two babies 10 weeks apart.

I remember when one of my great nieces was born. Of course I went to the hospital and held her in my arms. And then i handed her back. And I knew, just like that, that I was done.

Of course I was 43 years old, with a four year old, 18 month old, and 8 month old.

tushnurse posted 11/24/2020 07:46 AM

HF - Girl I swear.....

I had my hysterectomy less than 2 weeks after my 35th birthday.

I had mine for my 32 birthday. And I had to fight with the damn Dr to do it, even though my H had already had been neutered.

I had grade 2-3 uterine prolapse and severe adenomyosis. My periods were horrible and (TMI) even if I wasnít done having babies, we had to be able to do the required activity. And my, um, garage was already full, and no double parking was allowed, lol.

I did not have the prolapse, but I did have adenomyosis, and bleeding continuously tends to put a strain on marital activities.
I probably couldn't have had a 3rd kid even if I wanted to due to the adenomyosis. I bled throughout the second pregnancy.

TMI right.... Sorry for the T/J Maise.

Lionne posted 11/24/2020 14:53 PM

I would have liked a little girl. But I knew several families that had 3+ boys with that in mind.
I always figured that God knew I'd not be able to deal with girl's hair because I wasn't very good with my own.
But I had a straight haired, shiny boy with beautiful blonde hair and a kinky curly blonde hair that never stopped smiling. It was all good.

leafields posted 11/24/2020 17:22 PM

I had my last when I was 32 and have 3 boys. The last pregnancy took a toll on my body. I didn't have morning sickness, I had afternoon sickness. From 1 pm till 9 pm, anything I ate came back up. Ended up weighing less at delivery than I did when pregnant. Six prescriptions for sinus infections because they can't prescribe the antibiotics needed to get rid of them. Ended up with pre-eclampsia & induced at 37 weeks. He still weighed 8 lb 6 oz.

I wanted to be done having children by my early 30's so they'd (theoretically) be out of the house in my early 50's.

Edit to add: We usually had extra kids over, even as the boys grew to be in their 20's. Some of them even stayed with us for awhile when they had nowhere else to go. Just because no more children come out of your body doesn't mean you won't have more of them in your life.

[This message edited by leafields at 5:26 PM, November 24th (Tuesday)]

J707 posted 11/24/2020 17:54 PM

My son was born when I was 20, my daughter at 26. I had my boy and and I had my girl. At 30, I decided to get the cut. I thought about it for 6 months at least. But I knew deep down I didn't want any more kids, I just knew. I'm 39 now. If my son followed my exact path, I'd be a Grandpa in about 10 months! Wow, that's crazy! But I think deep down you either know or want more. 2 was good for me.

TrustedHer posted 11/24/2020 21:35 PM

After the 3rd boy was born, I told her "Three strikes and you're out". No girl, no more kids.

secondtime posted 11/24/2020 23:32 PM

I knew I was done after #3.

I knew I was right when I ended up pregnant with #4.

I was very unhappy that I was pregnant. In my defense, she was a reproductive old age, birth control, and infertility fail. She shouldn't exist, statistically.

I stopped crying every day after we had the 20 week ultrasound.

By the time she was about 18 months, I was in a good space with having her.

newlife03 posted 11/30/2020 13:54 PM

My story is a little silly, but it got me my answer.

I had a dream that my kids were gone, just vanished into thin air. I was sad for them and wanted them back, and a friend said it was ok, I could just have more! I told my friend that I didn't want more, but wanted MY children back. I woke up from the dream and knew I was done :-)

Hutch posted 11/30/2020 14:40 PM

This is a really great question. For me, I was meant to be a mom. I have two incredible boys that are my world. With that being said I wouldíve loved having three but at that time my world was crumbling around me. My ex had anger issues and I initially found out about his affair when my kids were just 3 and 1 (almost 4 and 2). I think at that point I was in survival mode and stayed in that state until I finally divorced. I couldnít even fathom having more kids with him.

Now Iím 46. My kids are still my world but I think I would die from the shock of it all if I ever became pregnant at 46. Poor kiddo would probably call me grandma out of sheer confusion. 😂 Clearly, mentally and biologically Iím done.

TX1995 posted 11/30/2020 14:42 PM

When my WH told me he didn't want anymore. Our second was two and he said he wanted "his wife back". We had always planned on having three. Our first was a horrible sleeper and I was overwhelmed by both of them at the time. I should have read more into that than I did. I thought he was trying to suggest that *I* would have less stress. But what he really meant was "I am selfish and want all of the attention back on me or I'll go looking for attention elsewhere."

*I* knew I was done having kids when we had a pregnancy scare when my second was 8 and I was relieved when the test was negative. Of course my husband had already checked out on me emotionally so I think that had a lot to do with it as well.

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