SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

WW says if you keep this up I am going to file for a PFA = protection from abuse.

She just told you exactly what's on her mind. I would take it seriously and get that VAR today. Worst case scenario, you waste a few bucks and a trip to the store. A small price to pay if it ends up keeping her from filing an RO on you and putting you out of your home and away from your kids.

Can you move out of the house with the kids for 2 days?

The fact she took 'troopers' to your house to collect her belongings show she is trying to set you up for a domestic violence charge. AVOID her like the plague and keep a VAR on you at all times. Key word is AVOID her. If she gets you arrested, you may have to leave YOUR house and YOUR kids. Think smart!

Can you file a complaint with your local police that she's threatening a PFA because you WON'T engage with her in a conflict? That you feel she's setting you up for a false DV charge, and what do they suggest you do to protect yourself and your children from a false complaint?

I would strongly urge you to discuss the PFA with your lawyer. Divorcing women all the time file bogus PFA claims as a gambit in divorce cases. Get ahead of that issue. Remember, she is not your ally here.

I'm sorry, but you may need to put in some ways to protect yourself. She threatened legal action without you even threatening her.

Like I said, call the police and lay out that she has been threatening a false accusation. Telling them in advance and making a statement may be the only thing to keep you with your kids.

The AP is the one pulling the strings. He is going to make things tough for you because your divorce is making things tough for her now.

[This message edited by DoinBettr at 3:32 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

Police are not some service you can order in like a Chinese meal. The troopers wouldn’t have escorted here unless there was a reason.

That reason mrnicehockeyguy – like it or not – was you creating that scenario at OM apartment.

There is no way around it – THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE!

And if you carry on like this then that mistake will come back and bite you HARD in the @ss. You voice concerns about her ability regarding custody: The judge will simply be looking at police reports and be wondering if the guy hanging around OM apartment – AFTER he has requested a divorce and thereby terminating the marital contract – is really the “reasonable” one.

Definitely get the VAR. You need it because your actions have put you in a weaker spot and IF your WW wanted to pursue or falsify DV charges.

BUT your best course of action is to AVOID AVOID AVOID all contact with WW. To the extent that you have a third party (a friend or family, preferably someone of good repute that would be considered an impartial witness) in the home if she comes over and you stay out or stay completely silent in the background.

This is serious stuff. If you two start playing “let’s pin the DV tail on the other spouse” game the ONLY outcome will be CPS involvement. Once that happens custody is no longer solely in your and your WW soon to be ex wife hands. Fact is that when you start slinging crap you might hit the other person, but your hands will be covered in brown stuff too. No winner here.

Question: Do you know the Troopers really did show up with her?

I ask that because she came back. It sounds like something my ex would pull - make legal threats but never really follow through (although she did call the cops on my when I was moving my stuff out).

Either way - listen to Bigger.

-------------------------------------------------

t/j -

Police are not some service you can order in like a Chinese meal.

I wish someone would tell the people in my town that about EMS (I'm a volunteer paramedic, AKA Uber driver... )

- end t/j

Like I said... just leave.

Go to Walt Disney. Have fun. Avoid Jabba the Hut, you might trigger

Experience the roller coaster for real!

I would start laying low on the OM. At this point, who cares, he can have your worthless WW. If you start messing with him too much, you'll have a tougher divorce I promise you. He will be in your WWs ears, and they will make your live harder. Get the D done, than you can go after him and help the OBS all you want. Finish up your own business first.

Any updates?

Just wondering if crazy ww has moved out yet?

Was she ever served?

I've read many posts that have "VAR" in them. I have no idea what that stands for. Can someone please clarify what that stands for so I can understand what's being said in many posts.

Voice Activated Recorder

@Newlifeisgreat

Yes. She moved out 8/23. Then on 8/30 had movers get her half of the furniture.

I have had the kids most of the time. She is waiting on kids beds ordered but not yet delivered, before we set up some type of regular joint custody arrangement.

I have grey rocked her pretty much all the time. I promptly reply to her emails and texts, but those are only about the MSA and the kids.

I am still trying to stick to a 180 list I developed for myself.

New life is different. Not what I thought I wanted, nor expected, but just taking things day by day.

That's progress Mr. Hockey. Small steps, but progress nonetheless.

Keep working on the grey rocking and it'll get easier.

Now that she's gone from the house, it'll all get easier - just a little bit every day, but still easier.

Keep on keepin' on.

ETA: Oh, and change the locks on the house.

[This message edited by WornDown at 3:33 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)]

Any updates?

How are things going? Are you okay?

Checking in. Are you okay?

Hope you're doing well MNHG. Proud of the steps you're taking. Continue to take care of yourself.