SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Enjoy your vacation man. No need to bother with her anymore. You've filed and you're now on your way to freedom. Try to get her to move as soon as possible and then it's 99% done.

Are you back from vacation yet?

So, a lot has happened since I last posted.

I took my two DD on a week long vacation to visit my family.

The night I left, I informed the OBS. Sure enough WW and POSOM scheduled a meet up at MY house! OBS surprised POSOM by showing up and confronting him there. Ruined their night!! OBS called me at 1am, POSOM followed her back to their house, was still trying to lie, while I was talking on phone to her, he refused to speak with me. What a gutless coward.

Anyway, I had a great vacation with my kids. Did lots of fun stuff. Tried to stick with the 180 as best as I could.

Upon returning home, have continued to grey rock WW. She plans to move out in two weeks.

I have concerns with the custody arrangement and her ability to effectively parent our children without me around. That is my main concern right now.

Last Saturday night, she came into my room at 1am, woke me up. She was crying. Said she doesn't want to move out. I gave her a hug, but continued to grey rock. I only said, I didn't want any of this to happen either, but here we are.

I continue to be in touch with OBS to track WW and POSOM, but we think they are in a rough patch right now because he actually left their house to stay in a temporary apartment. So both of their situations are FUBAR.

I plan on sticking with my path toward getting out of infidelity.

She was crying. Said she doesn't want to move out.

By "doesn't want to move out", did she mean she doesn't want the inconvenience of moving to a new place and figuring out how to co-parent? Or do you mean she was sort of asking for an opportunity to stay with you even as she cavorts with the AP?

I have concerns with the custody arrangement and her ability to effectively parent our children without me around. That is my main concern right now.

If you are pretty sure she'll screw up, there's not much you can do - until she does. Then refile for complete custody. Have the papers drawn up in advance, so you can file at a moments notice.

Last Saturday night, she came into my room at 1am, woke me up. She was crying. Said she doesn't want to move out

. I'm sorry you feel that way.

I continue to be in touch with OBS to track WW and POSOM, but we think they are in a rough patch right now because he actually left their house to stay in a temporary apartment. So both of their situations are FUBAR.

Since you are divorcing, you shouldn't be putting any energy in to tracking your WW (esp the OM). Put that energy into you and your kids, not her.

Sorry, mnhg.

You know now she is going to try to nice you back as hard as she can. She really needs you. The AP is going to show his true colors and dropped your WW.

She is now going to realize she gave up her home, husband, and family for a guy who just wanted some ass.

Divorce her. If she wants back, she is going to need to remarry you. She killed the first marriage. Tell her when you are single, you would consider dating her. But date someone else. Just so you know you are desired.

Good luck. Glad you took a bunch of the advice of this forum.

I think she might be having second thoughts about her life CHOICEs. The fairy tail is turning into a nightmare.

If you are so inclined, not that she deserves any response, you could say something like:

« WW, the moment you took those panties down, that first button that got unbuttoned, that is when the marriage ended. I loved you in our family unconditionally but you took the decision to throw it away, hurting me and our children. There’s nothing I can do at this point, but to wish you the best with your future life. What we can do though is to try to make this as painless as possible for our children. Oh and your boyfriend has an appartement now, please have the decency to meet him there, not in this house. It is degrading for me and our children »

Or you can grey rock her, like you did.

Or you could say " In the long run, cheaters don’t get what they expect, they get what they deserve "

Or, if you feel mean, "unfortunately you need to leave, I was planning to redecorating this place". True story: when my WW finally left, I repainted her room yellow/orange, like the sun. Let there be light! Exorcism!

[This message edited by ShutterHappy at 9:29 PM, August 19th (Monday)]

Glad you had a wonderful vacation with your DDs. Seems that your STBXWW fairytale lovers world is falling apart too. I hope you are asking for as much support from your STBXWW as possible though I remember you didnt want to ask for in your JFO thread. Think of your DDs and what they deserve to have growing up. Please dont be like most men and let your ego say I dont her support. You have to consider your children's college education, future car for them. You could use the money you get from your STBXWW to save up for those things if you really dont want her money. Keep the D train rolling my.

Let's but a hockey term in here. Your STBXWW is serving a major penalty now. Your in the drivers seat with the D. You get it on your terms, once its finalized, out her at her job if you havent already. If she loses it too bad. There are other doctor jobs out there for her to find.

Any updates?

Well, the update is:

I slightly deviated from the 180. As a favor to the OBS for her final closure, yesterday after work, I went to the apartment that POSOM is staying at. WW car in parking lot. Call WW but not answering phone. Knock on door but no answer.

Police were called. They talked to those two first. Then came to scold me for 20 minutes. I was told I have no business being there that I was trespassing. Told that I am lucky not to be charged with harassment, disorderly conducts, trespassing, etc. I was complete cordial with officers. Thanked them for not charging me.

I peacefully leave and go to back to school night for kids and meet teachers and guidance counselor.

Get text from WW that she is getting stuff from house, will stay somewhere else, being escorted by troopers, doesn't want me at house while she is. She is "scared of me." What does that mean? Fine. I am scared of her. She has threatened me. Talked about stabbing me. Said things like if she tried to kill me, then as a nurse, she would then be required to try to give me CPR. WTF??

I wait for her to text me she is gone from my house. I take kids home, give food, give baths, read bedtime stories, get them to brush teeth, etc and put to bed.

I call some friends and family to explain the crazy encounter with police.

Nutjob WW comes back to house at 10pm slamming doors and goes to sleep in guestroom. WFT?!?!

I lock myself in my bedroom and barricade the door. I wait until she is gone in the morning to come out and get my kids ready for next day.

I feel like I was made to be the bad guy. Who knows what lies those two concocted and told the officers.

I AM NOW STICKING WITH DOING THE HARD, HARD, HARD 180!!!!

I AM GOING TO GHOST THE WW!! 99.99999999% NO CONTACT. ONLY DIGITAL ABOUT CO-PARENTING COMMUNICATION. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

She is supposed to move out this weekend or at the latest Labor day weekend. CAN'T BE SOON ENOUGH!!

I am only going to focus on myself and my kids.

You will never be sorry you went no contact. Never. Smart move being cordial with police. Your WW is out of control. Good job being the stable parent for your kids. Well done.

People here might disagree but you're too much in the business of the OM and her wife. Regarding the OBS, as helpful she has been, you've helped her as much as you can. She now has her own journey and her own decisions to make. Don't deny any information that you may come across but no need to put yourself in these awkward situations now that your decision is made.

If you haven't got one already, you need a VAR.. today. Heck, get two so you've always got one ready to go. I'm sorry this is happening to you, and sorry for OBS too. But there's already been police contact once and your WW has a lot to gain if she can get you set up on a D/V charge. I'm sure you've already seen it happen to other BH's right here at SI. OBS needs to handle her own business and knock on doors for herself if she wants them knocked upon. Your job is to just get through this next bit without stepping on a landmine.

Strength to you.

I totally agree with ChamomileTea's assessment. You must be very careful. You can share information with the OBS but let her handle her own affairs.

Best,

Bigheart

Get a VAR. Save those texts or whatever evidence you have of her threatening you just in case. Talk to a lawyer about what happens if she doesn't move out after agreeing to and what that will look like. Also ask about other ways to protect yourself if things go south or she feels she needs the police again to step in and put you in your place.

Document this craziness. Also, call the police and find out what is happening. Mention you are concerned this could have weight with your divorce.

Also, document that your wife could have gone to conferences and instead was with the AP. If she starts making accusation this might help.

It is sad the AP is still with your WS.

Keep on trucking. Wield the anger.

Upvoting VAR and lawyer.

Don’t get close to the OM anymore, nothing good can come out if it.

Rejoice! You are getting rid of a crazy Wayward, and you are gaining a life

Hopefully you learned a valuable lesson. You get an RO filed against you (it happens) you can be putout of your home and away from your kids.

She is devious and will try anything now.

As everyone says get a VAR!!!!!!

Rough night, great news in the morning.

So, I picked up both my children yesterday and kept them out of the house and away from the crazy WW the whole evening.

I returned late just in time to give DD baths, read bedtime stories, brush teeth and put them to bed.

After that, WW starts asking me questions about how I know about her A continuing in the last two months.

I state, "Please stay away from me." and begin to walk to go to my bedroom. WW says if you keep this up I am going to file for a PFA = protection from abuse.

WTF?!?!?! Seriously, you are the crazy person.

I spent the whole night locked in my bedroom not sleeping well, worrying about that.

BUT, in the morning, I awake to an email on my phone from WW stating she is moving out this Saturday!! GREAT NEWS!!!

Of course she has to go to work early, so I have to get both kids ready for school and drop them off, but that's fine because that is going to be the new normal for me and them.

I cannot wait until Saturday to be away from the CRAZY WW! And her cheating, lying, sneaky, no good, deceitful, nonsense.

TOTALLY embracing the 180!!!

In fact, I am developing my own personalized 180 list for me.

**To anyone reading this, PLEASE take the good advice on this site (disregard the bad), and stick with it. It will help you achieve your goal to get out of infidelity!!**

I cannot wait until Saturday to be away from the CRAZY WW! And her cheating, lying, sneaky, no good, deceitful, nonsense.

Good deal but don't be surprised if she changes her mind.