Newest Member: Notarunnerup


Me: BH (49)exW (49): Way too many guys to countThree kids (D22, D21, S18)Together 25 years, married 18Divorced (July 2015)

I divorced a narc. Separate everything. NC as much as humanly possible and absolutely no phone calls. - Ch

I hate dating...

This is going to be a bit of a rant/pity party/journaling exercise. Bear with me, and thanks for reading...

Back story:

I've been divorced for 4.5 years. Had a serious 2 year relationship that ended (2017) when I got dumped for a new guy she met a week earlier. Dated a bit six months later and then took most of 2018 off from dating. Had a few dates (Nov -Feb) and then met someone I really liked right when I was about to hang it up again.

We really clicked - like talk for 4 hours and it felt like 30 minutes. Until...

the end of June when she abruptly broke it off. She said she was just too busy with school (working on Ed Phd), kids and work. Ok...

I dated a handful of people over the summer and fall, but no one really struck me. So, at Thanksgiving I decided to reach out to her. Very receptive, so I asked her if she wanted to go to a concert in town that I had an extra ticket to first week of Dec. She said Yes!

I didn't know what to expect, but it was like there wasn't 5 months of no seeing/talking. She basically would grab my arm/hand wherever we were walking. At the end of the night she ask what was next, and I told her that was up to her. A couple days later she asked if I wanted to come to her house for dinner in two weeks. I, of course, said yes.

Dinner, etc was great; no sign of not being interested in me. But after dinner, I asked her what we were doing - were we seeing each other again?

That's when it got weird. I got the - I'm really busy. I shouldn't have been dating when I first met you; I was about to get off OLD, but you were great - the best of the bunch I've met.

I said I understand about being busy, but there's a continuum between seeing each other every day and never seeing each other. She said she needed time to think about it. Fine, I said, no rush, think about it over the holidays. The last thing I wanted to do was pressure you.

I left that night (Fri before Christmas) thinking this was the end, but we texted over the weekend, and I texted her Christmas morning - she responded like everything was fine. Even liked a post I put on Facebook at noon on Christmas.


She ghosted me.

I texted her on Fri and didn't hear back. That's when I decided to see if she put pictures up on her FB page of her family...and that's when I found out she unfriended me.

Since I hadn't heard from her, I texted her Sat morning asking if she unfriended me. No answer. So, Sat night I just texted, "Ok, then. Message received."


48 comments posted: Monday, December 30th, 2019

Back on the bus...

Woman I'd been seeing for the last few months, and who I really started getting the feels for, ended it last week.

Out of the blue - from "You need to meet my mom" to adios! in a week. She said it was all her - she's busy with school, work and kids and couldn't dedicate time to us. Wants to stay in touch and see where she is in a year...Pretty sure that's true (we've talked about time in the past), likely not someone else, but...


I'm really done with dating. Took a year off last year (2018), put some toes back in the water the first few months of this year, dove in March with her...and now I'm out of the pool looking for the next bus to hop on to to...

Vroom, vroom!

12 comments posted: Monday, July 1st, 2019

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