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Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 1:41 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2019
MNHG are you still with us?
"The wicked man flees when no one chases."
mrnicehockeyguy (original poster member #70916) posted at 7:47 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2019
Well, I have not been frequenting this site a lot lately.
We are still separated. Kids are basically 50/50 with one week each. I don't like my girls not being around, but I video chat with them on most every night not with me.
By the end of October, our finances will be completely divided, my home in my name, all separate banking and credit cards.
I have paused the divorce proceedings only so that my STBXW can maintain health insurance coverage under my job plan.
We have not formally gone to the courts for custody.
I guess I should probably start a new thread in new beginnings because I need to make some more friends and be social; and even though I know it is too soon for me, and I am not emotionally available, I would like to at least engage in adult conversations with women.
me BH at 38yo
WW at 39yo
DD - two girls 8yo and 5yo
Dday 6/14/2019
Married since 6/13/2009
EA/PA 8/2018-6/2019 w/coworker
HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 9:46 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2019
MNHG - Do not pause the divorce to help your WW out. Who cares if she has insurance or not.
By pausing the divorce, you'll have to pay more maintenance to her. Get the D done, get the alimony carved in stone for the amount owed and yrs owed and get out now. YOu're prolonging this to your own detriment if you are the higher earner. If its the other way around I can see why you would drag it out, but not if you're the high earner.
I'd stop thinking about new women until you finish up this D, or at least get it well on its way to completion.
RocketRaccoon ( member #54620) posted at 9:45 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2019
I have paused the divorce proceedings only so that my STBXW can maintain health insurance coverage under my job plan.
I think the 'nice' part in your username really defines you.
You want to be nice to everybody but yourself. You want to make everybody happy but yourself, and you think that by making your WW happy, you will be happy. The source of your misery makes you happy? Think about that.
By 'pausing' divorce proceedings, you are trying to hold onto something that is no longer yours to hold, and you are keeping your WW from any further consequences.
Re-start the proceedings, this will help stop you and your WW from procrastinating and keeping yourselves in limbo indefinitely.
I guess I should probably start a new thread in new beginnings
In all seriousness, why? Especially when you have not ended things?
Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 1:33 PM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019
"The wicked man flees when no one chases."
Odonna ( member #38401) posted at 1:24 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019
I respect you for keeping your STBXW on your health insurance for now. She is the mother of your children so you are doing this for them. And there is likely no monetary cost to you as you would still need a family plan without her to cover the kids. But I would suggest consulting with your lawyer about making sure you protect yourself, or get something you need in exchange, during this period while she gets her own coverage.
[This message edited by Odonna at 7:29 AM, November 15th (Friday)]
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