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Betrayed Womenz Thread

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cocoplus5nuts posted 8/23/2019 07:05 AM

Wow! I just read his posts. They are very scary! I don't know what to do.

Scooby, please let us know you are safe!

Chaos, FWIW, the mods wouldn't be able to stop him from reading here, just posting, maybe.

Chaos posted 8/23/2019 07:17 AM

I didn't know what they could or couldn't do - but could be on the look out. Or help her change her name or help her alter anything that he might see.

Scoobydoo posted 8/23/2019 07:38 AM

Hi girls,
I'm ok, shocked, shook up a bit. he has lost the fucking plot.

I couldn't do anything last night, he took everything of mine so I couldn't even ring my kids ffs, I locked my door & hid away like a fucking coward

I've packed as much shit as I can carry, meant to be back Tuesday for work on Wednesday, depends if my boss will give me time off..I may stay away longer. my eldest son has got his MIL to have the twins for him Mon & Tues to free me up.

I don't mind saying fuckkkkkk I didnt see this coming!!!

I've had lots of messages, very humbling how complete strangers care for someone they have never met in person,

super proud of my kids, they literally left their jobs to be my hero's

will get in touch soon


DevastatedDee posted 8/23/2019 07:46 AM

I am appalled at the bullshit he said on that thread and appalled that he is treating you like a thing. I am SO glad to hear that you're okay and that you're not alone! You know for sure that you made the right decision. My heart aches for you having to read that crap, though. The last little vestiges of love I had for my XWH died when an intake counselor at a rehab told me that he said he didn't understand why his cheating was such a big deal because it's not like he loved them or anything. That hurt like hell, and it was because I could see so clearly how not a person I was in his eyes. Bless her for telling me that, though I know she wasn't supposed to. Your WH has foolishly told you that same thing, amongst a bunch of other things that show you that he doesn't see you as an individual human being who deserves love and happiness. This is that painful clarity that none of us enjoy reaching.

You deserve a life without this controlling nonsense. I am so impressed with how strong you are.

HeHadADoubleLife posted 8/23/2019 07:49 AM

Scooby, you are absolutely not a coward! Locking yourself in your room was what you knew best to do to feel safe. Your self preservation instincts kicked in, and that is in no way cowardly!

Your husband stealing your belongings in another attempt to control you? Now THAT is cowardly!

I can't imagine how frightening it was to have no way to even contact anyone should anything go south!

See if you can get some time off approved. I promise you, any good boss will be understanding if you let them know your safety has been compromised.

And yes, big hugs to your sons for helping you get through this!

I know you've got a million things on your mind, but a few big safety things to add to your list before you return home:
- See about getting a restraining order (or whatever the UK equivalent is)
- Call around to see if you can have the locks changed (not sure if this would be legal considering you guys are still married, but can't hurt to look into it)
- Get a security system!

Tallgirl posted 8/23/2019 07:54 AM

Oh Scooby, I am so glad you are ok.

Your husband sounded so angry, be careful. I would share this with your kids, so they understand the danger you are in.

He is not safe.

Big hugs.

Dragonfly123 posted 8/23/2019 08:36 AM

Scooby, Iím so glad youíre safe and have a clear plan.

Please take good care of yourself. You have all of us behind you and as has been said make sure your children are aware

Huge hugs!

SisterMilkshake posted 8/23/2019 10:19 AM

Scooby, what a scary turn of events. I am glad you have a plan and your children are supporting you. They sound like wonderful human beings, thanks to you.

I want to apologize to you, though. I wasn't aware of the DV. I would never have ever suggested that you maybe let your WH go to Mexico with you, if you had wanted to reconcile or to see if he was really committed to change. I would have told you you needed to leave him. DV hits close to home for me, for our family. I am glad that you went alone and had a blast.

My DD was a victim of DV from her husband one time. She thought she was going to die. He then held her captive for hours in the bedroom. Finally, he fell asleep (he was very drunk) and she was able to escape. No shoes, no coat and it was fall when this occurred. We live in a part of the US that gets very brutal winters and fall can be extreme, too. It was about 1:00 am. She had to leave her 3 sleeping young boys as she was afraid the ruckus of waking them to leave would awaken her abuser. Thank goodness the police station was only three blocks away. They came right away and arrested her husband and he was jailed. She hasn't seen him since, really, except for a few court dates. They were officially divorced in July.

Keep us updated if you can. Stay safe, dear lady.

EllieKMAS posted 8/23/2019 10:20 AM

SO glad you're ok Scooby!! And so very sorry that shit went sideways like that (seriously, WTAF). I wish we knew each other IRL so you could go through this with a whole bunch of us BWs surrounding you. But please know, even if we aren't there in person, all of us are there with you in spirit!

Keep us posted and tell your amazing kids a huge thank you from EllieK for helping keep their beautiful momma safe.

Hugs honey!

HeHadADoubleLife posted 8/23/2019 11:29 AM

Proposing that our Friday night toast will be to Scooby tonight!

We're all here for you. And so happy you had the wherewithal to get yourself out of there! Seriously, you've got your head squarely on your shoulders and you did everything you needed to do! I know it's scary, but be proud of how you handled yourself!

Chaos posted 8/23/2019 11:34 AM

I second! Tonight's toast is for Scooby. My glass will be raised high in her honor.

SisterMilkshake posted 8/23/2019 11:36 AM

I have got to say, ALL you ladies on this thread here are so kick ass!

I don't feel I was as far along in my "kick assedness" as you all are in such a relatively short time from d-day!

Yep, lets all give a toast to Scooby tonight. Hope she is able to have one, too, as it is much needed after all this cray cray.


DevastatedDee posted 8/23/2019 11:58 AM

BIG toast to Scooby!

And WTF, you ever see someone post and think that they're such an asshole that they're almost a caricature of an asshole? You sit there think "Come on man, not really though...you actually can't be that much of a c***" and yet, they apparently are. STAY SAFE.

Chaos posted 8/23/2019 12:03 PM

Scooby honey - he's off the rails.

I know you've involved the authorities. That is good.

You may want to show them his thread. He's even further off today than yesterday.

I don't know if where you are has a type of wellness check - but if the authorities can go and check on him - this may warrant some type of protective custody.

YOU and your children and grandchildren are first priority. But you may want to alert them and the police [not sure of your terminology] that he needs a wellness check.

Stay strong Scooby. Stay strong. You are one bad ass lady. You need to know this.

[This message edited by Chaos at 12:23 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

cocoplus5nuts posted 8/23/2019 12:25 PM

So glad you are safe, Scooby, and have a plan. Your children are amazing, too!

You are not a coward! You did what you had to do to keep yourself safe. I wonder if any charges could be brought against him for taking all of your ways to contact the outside world. That's almost like holding you hostage.

SisterMilkshake posted 8/23/2019 12:31 PM

That's almost like holding you hostage.
Our XSIL was actually charged with false imprisonment for holding our daughter captive in the bedroom with him. ETA: USA, though.

ETA: Did anyone here read what he had posted on her JFO post?

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 12:35 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

Chaos posted 8/23/2019 12:37 PM

Just checked it out and whatever he wrote had been deleted by SI staff.

Chaos posted 8/23/2019 12:37 PM

Just checked it out and whatever he wrote had been deleted by SI staff.

ETA - and a Stop sign has been put on his post in Wayward [I'm speculating they didn't lock it fully in case he says something that could be used as evidence against him - and that keeping it open but limited may be a window we can see in] but again I'm only speculating].

[This message edited by Chaos at 12:40 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

cocoplus5nuts posted 8/23/2019 12:57 PM

I just finished reading the threads in wayward and jfo. I am so distraught. I am crying. I never cry.

Tallgirl posted 8/23/2019 13:34 PM

8pm toast ladies? I am in. To Scooby, a brave and wonderful gal. Letís post words of encouragement with our toast.

SMS, was it threatening? I am having a little inner freak out that I poured gasoline on the fire. It was not my intent.

The mods must be freaking out too. I doubt this happens often.

Coco I feel upset too.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 1:35 PM, August 23rd (Friday)]

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