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Divorce/Separation :
xWH sent kiddos home alone on a red eye last night

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 I_Do_Exist (original poster member #24196) posted at 8:56 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2016

Confused -- Good questions. I've been rolling everything around in my head all morning.

I have had a decent relationship with his sister. I didn't know she was picking up the girls ahead of time, although it is technically a requirement in our decree that he tell me in advance if someone other than him is picking up our children, so I was caught off guard and did not think to refuse.

Obviously, in hindsight, I wish I would have.

[This message edited by I_Do_Exist at 2:57 PM, December 27th (Tuesday)]

Me: BW 46 determined & healing
Him: xWH 48 bipolar & NPD
Ours: 20-year marriage and 2 beautiful school-age daughters
2007-2013: 2 d-days; 2 secretaries in their 20s; 2 attempts at R
2015: D-day 3 w/secretary 3; game over; divorce final Oct 2015

posts: 902   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2009
id 7739583
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 9:10 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2016

Son of a bitch. I have run out of invectives for that worthless fucker.

((((((IDE and kiddos))))))

I hope to all that's holy that the courts roast him on a spit.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 7739594
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:42 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2016

My god (((IDE))) I have no words just a big hug and I hope this monstrous man gets the outcome he deserves!

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9068   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 7739618
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Shockedmom ( member #44708) posted at 10:04 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2016

This asshat is sabotaging his own case for custody. Let your attorney know. Perhaps he should be forced to pay for a travel guardian to escort them on the return flight. I know it is not ideal however they deserve the security of personal care.

I hope his sister understands that his selfish behavior is completely unacceptable.

posts: 1094   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2014   ·   location: Hawaii
id 7739632
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Hg65 ( member #49801) posted at 11:18 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2016

I am seething for you... I would put his sister on notice (and the rest of his family) that they will NO LONGER be able to play a part in their transportation to and from HIM.

Is there any kind of emergency hearing that can happen for shit like this?

When are they supposed to return? I guess another trip alone??

[This message edited by Hg65 at 5:20 PM, December 27th (Tuesday)]

I am BW
Dday Oct 2013

posts: 1082   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2015
id 7739691
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 I_Do_Exist (original poster member #24196) posted at 11:39 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2016

I wrote xWH's sister asking her if she knew. I asked her if she intentionally played a role in deceiving me and putting my girls on a flight alone without my knowledge. I asked her to confirm that DD8 had her rescue inhaler on the flight. I asked these things because it's altogether possible xWH is lying to her and manipulating her as well.

The sister didn't respond to me. Then xWH texted me a slew of rageful texts to "stop harassing his sister."

[This message edited by I_Do_Exist at 5:39 PM, December 27th (Tuesday)]

Me: BW 46 determined & healing
Him: xWH 48 bipolar & NPD
Ours: 20-year marriage and 2 beautiful school-age daughters
2007-2013: 2 d-days; 2 secretaries in their 20s; 2 attempts at R
2015: D-day 3 w/secretary 3; game over; divorce final Oct 2015

posts: 902   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2009
id 7739711
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 12:12 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2016

So she did know? What a bitch.

And your X has cell phone service enough to text you. You should be able to speak to your DD8 and DD12. If he won't let you, I would be all over that and document that for the courts too.

I am soooooo sorry you are dealing with this. Don't contact his sister again.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 7739732
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Hg65 ( member #49801) posted at 1:08 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2016

I don't have kids so this may sound dumb but is this something you could call the police about?? It just seems way out of what is acceptable.

I am BW
Dday Oct 2013

posts: 1082   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2015
id 7739772
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 3:14 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2016

I have a feeling he deceived his sister.

Hopefully your atty will subpoena her - she isn't going to say she deceived you, she'll probably throw her brother under the bus.

Just breathe. You can get thru this one day at a time.

In my opinion he just slammed the door on any further visitation.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5511   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 7739868
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 3:23 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2016

Since the girls didn't want to go, is it kidnapping on the sister?

I mean she left with your kids but put them on a plane when they didn't want to go..,,,

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5511   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 7739875
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HeBrokeVows ( member #43252) posted at 5:01 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2016

This makes me sick. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

If it were me, I would fly out there to make sure you are on their flight home. I wouldn't ask if he's flying with them or not anymore. Assume he isn't and be on that flight home with your girls. And if he is, so what, it's a free world. I had advice similar to that a few months ago from my lawyer. Don't tell your girls. Maybe ask your layer first.

Dday March 11, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.
Divorced 2/2016

posts: 2543   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2014
id 7739936
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shakentocore ( member #46124) posted at 11:19 AM on Wednesday, December 28th, 2016

You don't need to have a decent relationship with his sister anymore. Next time, refuse to allow her to take the kids. If she wants a relationship with your kids she can have one during ex's time.

DDay - Christmas 2014. Working on R.

posts: 3711   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7740048
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 3:50 PM on Saturday, December 31st, 2016

I'm hoping today you get your children back and it's the last time they ever go anywhere w their dad.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5511   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 7742771
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 4:53 PM on Saturday, December 31st, 2016

I-do-exist, how are you doing?

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 7742836
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 7:58 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2017

Happy New Year IDE, here's hoping that your DDs are very soon in your loving arms and that asswipe's balls get nailed to the wall.

((((IDE & DDs))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 7744142
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 4:35 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2017

Words fail. I literally can't come up with any other descriptions for the insanity of your EX. Now you know that you can't trust the sister either and it's all hands on deck war with him and his people. I'm so sorry that this has degenerated into such a terrible situation for your kids (and by extension, you). But, if they want a war, give it to them.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3432   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 7744818
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MadOldBat ( member #44146) posted at 5:40 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2017

So hoping that you are happily reunited with your girls I_D_E,

and that their health and wellbeing is OK.

This must have been a hugely traumatic time for you all.

Hugs, MOB x

Keeping my chin(s) up whilst getting divorced.

posts: 3990   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2014   ·   location: In House Separation.
id 7744868
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 I_Do_Exist (original poster member #24196) posted at 3:33 AM on Wednesday, January 4th, 2017

It is so nice to log in and find messages expressing concern, love, support, and shared outrage. You guys are the best.

A few quick updates:

My girls are back with me as of 7 a.m. this morning. They seem good and we're all so glad to be back together.

I went to my attorney's office today and reviewed all the paperwork. Our "campaign of shock and awe" begins tomorrow, beginning with a counter-suit for full custody and supervised visitation for xWH, followed by a motion for psychological evaluation of both xWH and OW3. I read the documents and my attorney was extremely thorough and, well, ruthless. I hesitated at the cringe-worthy details for a split second, but then I reminded myself that I am fighting for my children. This process is inherently ruthless, and I can't get squeamish now. I didn't start this fight, but I will finish it. Then I unflinchingly signed those documents.

Today, I feel strong and so grateful to have my two girls under each of my wings.

Me: BW 46 determined & healing
Him: xWH 48 bipolar & NPD
Ours: 20-year marriage and 2 beautiful school-age daughters
2007-2013: 2 d-days; 2 secretaries in their 20s; 2 attempts at R
2015: D-day 3 w/secretary 3; game over; divorce final Oct 2015

posts: 902   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2009
id 7746569
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 3:35 AM on Wednesday, January 4th, 2017

Well done, lady! Show no mercy.

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1806   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 7746571
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 3:41 AM on Wednesday, January 4th, 2017

First and foremost - I'm glad your babies are back home with you. I hope you're all doing well.

Second - I hope your lawyer hands your ex his ass. Preferably in small pieces and gift wrapped in bunches of tiny, delight motifs.

Go get 'em Mama Bear!!

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 7746579
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