Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know

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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 12:42 AM on Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

Bumping for a newbie.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4596   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 6062337
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jjct ( member #17484) posted at 3:56 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2012

BUMP

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6067737
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carey ( member #35829) posted at 4:27 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2012

glad this was bumped! Everyone suffering from infidelity will find this helpful. Glad I saw this. Thanks

me(BW) 41
him (WH) 40
D-day 1/17/12
together for 22yrs, married 12 yrs.
2 children ages 10 & 5
You can close your eyes
to the things you don't
want to see. You can't close
your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

posts: 540   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2012
id 6067789
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SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 2:27 AM on Thursday, October 25th, 2012

bump...good stuff!

FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children


"Your secrets keep you sick"

posts: 1168   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: 221B
id 6075017
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SecondHelping ( member #36796) posted at 12:24 PM on Thursday, October 25th, 2012

Both WW and I read this tonight. What a great article.

D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/2 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern

posts: 568   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Delmarva
id 6075336
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Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 1:23 AM on Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

Bump for a newbie.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7922   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6081985
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:58 PM on Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6090187
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longroadhome ( member #32428) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, November 15th, 2012

Bumped for the newbies

Me: WH
Her: BW, and the most amazing, beautiful person I've ever known

It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier

posts: 547   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2011
id 6102745
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 3:19 AM on Friday, November 30th, 2012

Bumping for Noah.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4596   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 6121930
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:42 PM on Tuesday, December 4th, 2012

bump

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6127187
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lumpygravy ( member #11877) posted at 12:15 PM on Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

I hope it's not inappropriate that I comment as a BS, but I shared this with my WW last night. The most surprising part was how much I cried. I couldn't control it.

It was good though.

BS: Me
FWS: Her
M: 25 Years
Daughter: 22
DD: 8/2006, 5/2016
1st: EA, 2nd: She got shot down
I don't know any more.

posts: 100   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2006
id 6128586
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LSH1 ( new member #37716) posted at 4:41 PM on Thursday, December 6th, 2012

Copied and emailed this to my WH. Then a list of some my triggers. Please bump this.

posts: 43   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2012
id 6130287
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Inwaiting ( new member #37748) posted at 7:51 PM on Saturday, December 8th, 2012

Sent link to my WS three days ago hoping that it might spark understanding and a conversation. All that it did though manage to re-traumatize me in that there is only silence on the topic sprinkled with me I supposedly nagging that he hasn't read/or addressed it with me and him saying he's working on reading it (while spending all day online). I'm tired of being depressed. It's a great post and I truly believe both clinically and personally that much of it is exactly how couples can and do heal. Thanks for posting it.

For there is much pain that is quite noiseless...

posts: 4   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2012   ·   location: LA
id 6133194
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madeincanada ( new member #37746) posted at 10:11 PM on Saturday, December 8th, 2012

Thank You as well, so much there, so true .... we read it together and held each other...we want so badly to heal and start our new life.

Rejoice in your renewed commitment to spend your lives together in happiness. Celebrate it together regularly!

If the R couple can't do that then they will never truly reconcile.

One of the most wonderful and loving things we have done is write a renewed marraige contract, remembering to love laugh and dance is in there. It's 4 pages and growing

posts: 16   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2012
id 6133280
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:38 AM on Friday, December 28th, 2012

Bump.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6155727
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longroadhome ( member #32428) posted at 4:08 PM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012

Bump for imsorry1

Me: WH
Her: BW, and the most amazing, beautiful person I've ever known

It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier

posts: 547   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2011
id 6158250
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Missingmyhusband ( new member #37849) posted at 7:11 AM on Monday, December 31st, 2012

As a FWW trying my hardest to find the ways to show my husband I am committed to doing everything I can to save our marriage and become the best wife and mother I can be, I find this post to be very insightful and helpful. It's paved a path for us to walk on, it lets us know what we have put our loved ones thru and how we, as WS can be the support for them that we once were not. Thank you so much for this. It is more help to those of us struggling than you know.

Me 25 WS
Him 26 BS
1 child 2yrs old
Dday 11/15/2012
Wanting to save my marriage

posts: 1   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2012
id 6159048
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SandAway ( member #37775) posted at 8:11 PM on Monday, January 7th, 2013

Giving this a bump ~ Does no good on the bottom of the 3rd page for new WS's...

fWW
BH Tred
M 19yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people

posts: 451   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2012
id 6167705
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BIZZYBEEZ ( member #37645) posted at 6:14 AM on Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

Just handed this to my H & asked him to please read. He's doing a lot of the things listed already but not quite sure he truly understands the level of my devastation. Thank you for posting one of the best things I've read in a week.

BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)

Learning to breathe again - one day at a time

posts: 235   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2012
id 6177171
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knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 7:33 PM on Friday, January 18th, 2013

Bump

fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.

I edit often to fix stuff ☺️

Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.

posts: 1818   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2012   ·   location: Deep South, USA
id 6182297
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