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Newest Member: Zinnea218

Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know


libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 10:53 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

Thanks so much! Going to print this and give it to my H.

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

posts: 972   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2013
id 6385815

PauLLing ( new member #39396) posted at 12:04 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2013

WS here - 6 months into this terrible agony I inflicted upon us.

I was directed to this post when BS first discovered SI and I have re-read it many times. It helps me see more clearly the complete devastation I have wrought upon us and makes me so ashamed I did this.

I totally embrace all of what is in the original thread and it inspires me to be the better person my BS so deserves - I feel unworthy of the effort she has put in to wanting us to stay together but I am determined to repay that effort many times over - this thread has, and will continue to, inspire me.

Thank you SI for helping us cope with this horrific journey.

Me: fWH 49
Her: BS 46
PA: June to September 2013
Dday: January 3rd 2013 - I confessed
Status: Totally committed to R - having IC for the first time in my life which is uncovering so many bad, learned behaviours & we have seen a fabulous MC too.

posts: 6   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2013   ·   location: UK
id 6388949

stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 6:56 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013

Bumped for Whatnow999

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 6409797

OldCow18 ( member #39670) posted at 1:26 AM on Thursday, July 18th, 2013

Amazing. Just printed for WH. Seriously AMAZING.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

posts: 620   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2013
id 6411531

SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013


FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children

"Your secrets keep you sick"

posts: 1168   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: 221B
id 6414068

Rebuildingman ( new member #39861) posted at 4:29 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013

I am a WS and one week post D-Day. I was visiting prostitutes and even another male (a BIG mistake) and got caught. Wife found texts and emails and you all know what happened.

We are talking right now and will start counseling on Monday. In the past week, I have cut of all contacts with previous life, have seen a therapist twice, saw our Priest twice, made a long and complete confession, been to a separation support group, and will be attending Kings Men tonight. I am completely devastated by what happened and have completely lost my friends, family members, and even my business as we worked together and we agreed that I would exit the business.

I am looking at Mount Everest now and don't know if I can do it. I love her dearly and the kids all want us to make it work as do I. But the challenges just seem too much for me and the thought of years of devastation, rejection, and pain are making me want to run away. I have God in my life and have turned it all over to Him, but still am a mess.

Of course it is all my fault, I accept and embrace that completely and have also accepted the fact that I am the lowest form of dirt for having done this.

Any words of encouragement is sorely needed at this point - not that I deserve any.

I am a rebuilding man - a work in progress

posts: 6   ·   registered: Jul. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Stow
id 6415542

BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 4:35 PM on Sunday, July 21st, 2013

People are able to make changes. Making those changes stick long term is a bit more of a challenge.

Rather than look for support on this thread, you would be better off posting new threads, responding to others from your perspective, and responding to questions in posts you make. That way you won't threadjack this long-running thread.

WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 6415546

SandAway ( member #37775) posted at 2:54 PM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013


BH Tred
M 19yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people

posts: 451   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2012
id 6423751

Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 6:56 PM on Monday, July 29th, 2013


posts: 3615   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012
id 6426101

Danntonio ( member #40065) posted at 5:53 AM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

Thank you.......I intend to make this better...I love my wife...I love her so much...I have hurt her and our families....I am going to try and make this better.....I am so sorry

WH 49 trying to get help
BS 45 trying to help her
D-Day 2013-07-25

posts: 88   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2013   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 6428501

Danntonio ( member #40065) posted at 5:18 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

Already Read this a couple is worth it to print and read again and again. Thank you

WH 49 trying to get help
BS 45 trying to help her
D-Day 2013-07-25

posts: 88   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2013   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 6433371

myperfectlife ( member #39801) posted at 4:51 AM on Saturday, August 10th, 2013


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

posts: 452   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6442384

tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 2:38 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013


Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB

posts: 7444   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2010   ·   location: Inside my head
id 6458500

Fireflies ( member #40210) posted at 2:08 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Bumping for Nicnac

Me: BS
Him: WS
Go your way,
I'll take the long way 'round,
I'll find my own way down,
As I should.

posts: 83   ·   registered: Aug. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Grr Argh
id 6462231

Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 8:14 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013


"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6466425

soconfusednow ( member #40078) posted at 10:44 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013

I printed this for my WH to read.

Things still aren't where I'd like them to be yet, but at least they are better. He seams to finally understand part of what I'm going through.

I'm still very confused and unsure. not sure if we'll make it long term. But until that decision is made, I'm claiming baby steps towards our future together.

D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

posts: 491   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6474327

1bigidiot79 ( member #40557) posted at 3:06 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2013

OK so my internet filter won't let me see the first page of this thread so I can't read it. Can someone copy and paste it for me or PM me a copy of it?


DDay 7/23/13
TT on 3/5/14 - Finally came completely clean
Finally working on making real changes in my life, one day at a time.

posts: 174   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 6474994

soconfusednow ( member #40078) posted at 7:54 AM on Monday, September 9th, 2013


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

posts: 491   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6479637

LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 9:11 PM on Monday, September 9th, 2013

Bumping this one to the top for a new member.

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 6480456

AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 12:09 AM on Monday, September 16th, 2013


BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"

posts: 2859   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2012
id 6488124
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