Even though I told you very confidently earlier that I wanted a divorce, in my heart I still hoped that things could be fixed between us. After DDAY1 I gave my wife a chance to rethink everything, the family, the future of the kids and us. I did not do the pick me dance, or maybe just slightly.
I went 2 times a week to IC, because I got PTSD and minor depression because of DDAY1.
She behaved during this last month cold and distant, did not show anything like remorse or regret, but I wanted to be patient with her.
HUGE MISTAKE! DDAY2 coming.
There were some suspicious things, like phone calls in the morning hours, one time 3 hours of staying in one location between 4pm and 7pm, near a hotel.
So I decided to put a VAR into her car yesterday... I picked the VAR out today evening, so I had ONLY ONE DAY of recording..
I connected the VAR to my computer and listened the recordings... In one of the recordings she initiated a phone call while driving home to a guy... first I thought it was just a coworker, but then they started talking about this Thursday... so that she and he will take Thursday off and he was joking that he could not find an apartment for one day, but only for three hours... My wife replied while laughing, that she cannot believe this.. what a bad luck. They were funny and joking. She also told him, that her vacation was approved so she is free to go. The way they spoke to each other.... the ease how they discussed this apartment/hotel thing was (and still is) simply unbearable to me.. I cannot process this level of betrayal....Even now my legs and arms are shaking...
And let me remind you this is while I'm on therapy twice a week because of my emotional shock and wounds she inflicted!
And this is while one my daughters one day threw a flower into the air and said her only wish is that mommy and daddy could live in peace together..as one family. I told my wife about this... she did not believe it and could not care less.
I immediately confronted her and asked her about Thursday....
- What are you plans for Thursday? she replied: Oh nothing, just working, though we will have a management meeting so I might be late. (lied)
- OK, so you won't take Thursday off? she replied: of course not, I'll be working. (lied into my face again)
- OK, so what about the bad luck that there is no available apartment for the whole Thursday just for three hours? . She got frozen...How do you know this?? I gave a few more details about the conversation just to be sure she understands there is no point of lying.
She showed no remorse ,no sorry, no apologies, nothing. "I have nothing to say."
Then, I told her this was the true end of our story and our marriage. I'll file a divorce.
I told her she did this devastation to me and to the KIDS while I was thinking we might reconcile. I gave her a chance and this was what I got. It is pretty obvious she continued the affair even after DDAY1, even though she promised to stop the it and go to IC. None of these things happened.
I'm shocked and to be honest hearing their conversation and the nature of their relationship totally freaked me out. I'm in shock again. Maybe I should have asked a friend to listen to this shit...I was clearly not prepared to hear this.. and she did this after DDAY1 on a potential reconciliation and while we ARE STILL MARRIED and have 3 kids!
But maybe that was the final push for me for DIVORCE.
Still cannot believe this is happening to us.
[This message edited by madmax76 at 11:43 AM, Tuesday, April 25th]