** Mod Please **

Hello, Mod;

I payed for a membership and have tried to upload pictures to share. However, I do not get the "extras" bar to be able to do so.

I have sent 2 messages through "contact us", but haven't received a reply.

Could you please see if my request is "stuck" somewhere, and if so, give it a little nudge?

Thank you very much!

2 comments posted: Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Talking about a husband's insecurity about trusting his wife after being hurt

I watched a video where a woman is talking about a husband's insecurity about trusting his wife after being hurt:

...you're trying to flip that on him, and make him seem like he just woke up this morning and he was insecure. No, what you did caused that insecurity. He trusted you until you showed him you could not be trusted. And, now that he is trying to forgive you and he's trying to heal, you go do something else and think that's not going to open up the wound of what you did the last time?! You're not giving him the opportunity to fully heal from what you did before!

Look, if somebody gives you the gift of forgiveness, which is hard for a lot of us, and then you can't even respect him enough to do the work it takes to earn that trust back, you don't deserve him, Baby! You don't! He wouldn't deserve you if he was doing that to you!

I hope you come to your senses before you lose a good person.

This really resonated with me. Looking back, I realize I didn't fully heal from the first Dday when the second one hit. The counseling we received at that point was crappy, and I now think I didn't heal from the second one either, though it was decades until Dday 3 hit. Now, thanks to people here and counseling, I am healing from these terrible wounds. I suppose what this woman said about not healing fully before getting hurt again helped me make sense of it all and heal a little more.

As my WW and I move closer to D, I am thinking about what life will be afterward. Sure, I am considering dating again, but I now will come with the label of "Divorced" and I wonder if I will really be that desirable, even though it wasn't me who cheated. Then when I hear a video with a woman saying something like this, it helps me have a little value about myself. We say here the BS "is the prize" because we stayed true to our vows and even stayed a while trying to make it work out, and I believe that. I suppose sometimes it helps to hear it from another source.

Did this speak to you?

9 comments posted: Friday, May 19th, 2023