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Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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guitargod ( member #14534) posted at 9:41 PM on Thursday, October 7th, 2021

Thankful that MHW is taking the time to be with me and work on R. We're doing R the right way, instead of trying to lie and rug sweep for 15 years! It's painful facing it all, and not easy to work through it. Now it's harder than ever in our M to find time with more other responsibilities outside the M. But never before have we put such a priority on R.

I feel more hopeful for our future than any time in the last 15 years.

ME=MHH 40MHW 37DDay=2/27/2007DDay#2=6/26/12DDay#3=9/9/21Married 17 yearsTogether 23 years

Daughters: 4, 2, 0

posts: 68   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2007
id 8692042
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 11:07 PM on Thursday, October 7th, 2021

It’s been a while but I’m thankful for having a relatively good day despite getting a bomb dropped on me at work.

My wife and I hit a major rough patch recently but we worked it out and are getting along better than ever.

I finished a home project and it came out better than I could have hoped for.

I’m thankful for being alive, still working on R and that everyone I know is healthy.

Me -FWS

posts: 1984   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8692053
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Underserving ( member #72259) posted at 3:53 AM on Friday, October 8th, 2021

I had to come just to post this.

I am thankful for my resilient daughter who got outstanding student for the 1st 6 weeks out of hundreds of kids at her school! She has been far too aware of the turmoil going on between me and my husband the last two years (it has been a lot better lately.) Still, she has overcome so much, and is exceeding every expectation I could ever have of her. She is such a light in my life, and to all those who know her. Yes, I am very thankful today. :)

BW (32)Found out 3 years post end of AD-day 12-9-19In R

Infidelity brings out the cuss in me. I’m not as foul mouthed in real life. ;)

posts: 775   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2019
id 8692068
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 3:03 PM on Thursday, October 14th, 2021

I LOVE reading over the "Thankful Thursday" posts from the week before...they are so AWESOME grin .

My thankful post today is because I am smelling my red beans and sausage cooking in the slow cooker...C'est Bon!! I know...you Cajun/Creoles out there are shaking your heads right now because red beans and rice are for MONDAYS laugh . But I wanted them TODAY...so there tongue !!

Anyway...this weekend it will be GUMBO weather here in NOLA...woohoo!!! TODAY I am thankful for GOOD food that nourish our bodies and are quite TASTY too grin !! AND...I get to have sausage in two different dishes this week...BONUS!!! NO...no andouille for me. YES...I am a Cajun...but it is OK to not always go with the "norm" grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8693109
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 11:18 PM on Thursday, October 14th, 2021

I’m so thankful to own my own business for the past 20 years. Some days it can go on cruise control and we can run off and waste a day.

When I look back at working in corporate America, getting bought and sold, mergers, etc. I was miserable. I haven’t shared much of my lifestyle publicly here but I will say this. Owning your own business and living below your means is one word FREEDOM!!!

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8693220
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 6:34 PM on Thursday, October 21st, 2021

Good afternoon SIers!! My Thankful Thursday post today is because my H had been doing his best to make me feel CHERISHED...and it is working!! I have a little more pep in my step!!!

I didn't even notice how much he was doing for me until I felt happiness this morning...just because. There are several things that can make this happen...but when I thought about what my H has been doing for me lately..that was when I started SMILING!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8694375
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Notaboringwife ( member #74302) posted at 7:49 PM on Thursday, October 21st, 2021

I am grateful that my husband this morning made me coffee, shared a joke with me while I was still half asleep, and we laughed together. A great way to start a morning!

Me: fBS late 60’s
Him: fWH late 60’s
DDay : March 2019
Separation: March 2019
R: June 2019

Shift your internal stance from "I’m right and you’re wrong" to "help me understand." Everything else follows from it...

posts: 318   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2020
id 8694392
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 10:00 PM on Thursday, October 21st, 2021

I’m thankful for a great week with my W. Last week I was in a funk over a trigger, she didn’t handle it very well. I went back to my original rules of R and found communication. We talked through it and we are good.

A funny story, most men can’t find something right in front of their face. My W is always called upon if I can’t find something. Even dropping a screw in the grass, she will find it. A couple days ago she asked me to help her find her glasses 😮. I told her “you have a better chance finding them without your glasses, than for me to find them with 20/20. Look up “fool’s errand “ I was right, she found them 😄

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8694409
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WTAF ( member #79274) posted at 1:28 AM on Friday, October 22nd, 2021

Thankful today for open communication and time together with the H. I'm feeling as content and optimistic as I am capable of these days.

posts: 119   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2021   ·   location: All up in my feelings
id 8694443
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outofsorts ( member #70701) posted at 2:11 AM on Friday, October 22nd, 2021

FWH and I are taking a long weekend in another state. I'm looking forward to new adventures and am still grateful to be able to leave the state (for about 10 months we legally couldn't due to COVID restrictions). grin

Me(BW): 40WH: 40 Married 7 years, together 20.
Dday 2/22/19 Reconciling

posts: 401   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8694447
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 2:35 AM on Friday, October 22nd, 2021

I'm thankful that my wife and I seem to be on the same page these days. We've talked about renewing our vows and I'm excited at the prospect.

Me -FWS

posts: 1984   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8694449
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OneInTheSame ( member #49854) posted at 6:54 AM on Friday, October 22nd, 2021

I am thankful that it feels like we have crested the pass over the insurmountable mountain of pain and dysfunction that was the affair. The journey is not over yet ...

(I edit to correct typos)
I am the BS in a lesbian marriage. My WW's ex-girlfriend was the AP.
D-day of the 6 mo A was 10/04/15
We are doing okay, but by now I wanted it to be better

posts: 2515   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2015   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 8694462
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FairyTaleGone ( member #79059) posted at 1:42 PM on Friday, October 22nd, 2021

I know it’s Friday now, but this is the first time I have wanted to post on the "Thankful Thursday" thread since DDay1, which was 8 months ago.

Over the last few weeks things have just "clicked" for WH. He is showing true empathy and remorse and I am finally feeling safe enough to share my feelings and sad thoughts with him. It has been so healing to me to not have to hold those in and let them fester.

He even told me (on his own) that he had an "A-Ha" moment a couple weeks ago. He said he stewed on my words that anger was a secondary emotion and that it is masking another deeper feeling. He wanted to figure out why he got so mad when I would bring up the A. He said it was because he couldn’t "fix" it. I was telling him how I felt and there was nothing he could do about it, and that made him so angry (with himself) that he shut down. He said that once he tried to let the anger go in that situation and just provided comfort, that I seemed happier and it made him feel better too. He said "I learned that I can’t fix it, but I can show you how much I love you and want to be here for you". It blew my mind!

It is so nice to see the changes in him and feel truly understood in my darkest moments.

DDay 1 - 2/19/21 (found out about EA)
DDay 2 - 5/22/21 (TT found burner phone)
DDay 3 - 6/9/21 (TT found out about PA)

EA/PA ended 3/22/21 -WH went NC
Working on R
13yr old DD at home - unfortunately knows way too much

posts: 113   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2021
id 8694505
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 12:20 AM on Friday, October 29th, 2021

My wife had a pretty weird and growing (five trips to different doctors) health scare over the last week, but it has finally turned around. I'm thankful she got through it without any major or permanent damage.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2173   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8695513
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 7:17 PM on Friday, October 29th, 2021

I need a Friday exemption. I’m thankful that yesterday my Son finally had his surgery to correct his severe sleep apnea. His surgery had been canceled several times since February. It finally happened yesterday and he is doing well. We are still in the hospital and should leave today. He is non verbal, autistic and tearing this place down 🤣

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8695742
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outofsorts ( member #70701) posted at 2:49 AM on Saturday, October 30th, 2021

I'm either a day late or two days early. But I'm thankful for Halloween! I love the costumes - adults in costume, kids in costume, especially dogs in costume! It's fun to celebrate during a difficult year.

Me(BW): 40WH: 40 Married 7 years, together 20.
Dday 2/22/19 Reconciling

posts: 401   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8695805
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 1:52 PM on Thursday, November 4th, 2021

DANG...apparently I missed Thankful Thursday last week...but some of y'all didn't...kind of laugh !! I LOVE reading y'alls posts...so today I am THANKFUL for y'alls uplifting posts smile !!

We FINALLY got back TV and internet...WOOHOO!! It only took TWO MONTHS after Hurricane Ida paid us a visit rolleyes . We are the blessed ones...some of our friends are still waiting for that. But EVERY DAY we get a little bit better here...and that is a BLESSING all on its own grin .

On the Awesome Marriage daily "one thing" email today...it said to tell your spouse one reason why you are attracted to them. My H immediately said it was my SMILE smile . I can't imagine WHY he didn't say my svelte physique laugh !! To clarify...I can best describe ME as what y'all remember from the "Teapot song"...I am short and stout grin . Anyway...I understand WHY he said my SMILE smile .

I distinctly remember the day we were hugging about a year or so after Dday...when my H started crying look . I had no idea why he was crying...we had just had a very FUN moment shocked !! When I asked my H what was making him cry...he said that he just saw my SMILE. He thought he would never see me SMILE like that again...and when I did...the emotions just overtook him smile .

TODAY...I am so thankful that I have my SMILE back smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8696740
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ladyphoenix ( member #72766) posted at 2:24 AM on Friday, November 5th, 2021

Thanks for sharing your story about your smile. It gives me hope.

I am having a pretty good Thursday. Tonight after a very long day at work my FWH was telling a story about something that happened earlier in his work day. It occurred to me as I was enjoying his animation that there was a time in our relationship (during his A obviously) that he didn't share any stories about his day because he had already relayed them to her. Now he's eager to share his experiences. He is building trust with me without even knowing it. One day at a time. :)

M 24 years, together 30. DD1 Feb 2019, DD2(TT) June 2019, DD3 (TT) July 2019, (TT) March 2020, (TT) Sept 2020We have 3 children: 23,19, 14 and a grandson April 2019. We work daily on R and building a stronger relationship.

posts: 130   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8696858
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 1:34 PM on Thursday, November 11th, 2021

Ooooo...YES ladyphoenix ...sharing stories again definitely is a PLUS smile !!

I KNOW Oldwounds has noticed wink ...but did anyone else see that there were TWO more stories in the last week in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread???!!! I believe there are just three more stories left before that page turns to #28 grin !!

Today I am THANKFUL for the POSITIVE stories of reconciliation on this site smile . Betrayal is a very personal and traumatic event...but it doesn't end who WE are at our core. We DO survive infidelity...and we can also THRIVE despite it grin !!!

I NEVER imagined I could go even a few minutes without thinking about the WORST time in my life...yet here I am...living out my fairytale marriage...happily ever after grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8697965
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Underserving ( member #72259) posted at 1:51 PM on Thursday, November 11th, 2021

I am thankful for healing and progress. As I was about to snuggle up to my husband last night, I had the thought "Don’t let yourself feel safe. Don’t enjoy having him next to you too much." I paused mid scoot lol I realized if we had a shot in hell at R, I was going to have to let my guard down. So I did. I cuddled up next to him and fell asleep, and I did feel safe. I did enjoy having him there. It’s weird, but I finally feel like we’re going to make it through this.

BW (32)Found out 3 years post end of AD-day 12-9-19In R

Infidelity brings out the cuss in me. I’m not as foul mouthed in real life. ;)

posts: 775   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2019
id 8697966
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