My Cheater despises SI. He thinks all is well until I come here and get fired up.
A very brief recap:
I was cheated on by two boyfriends prior to meeting WH
I informed him immediately that I don’t tolerate cheating. He PROMISED he wouldn’t, claiming a girlfriend dumped HIM for a Marine when he was in basic training for the Air Force
We attended pre marriage classes, and discussed adultery, where he reiterated that he would never do that to me
In 1991, he tells me he wants to fuck his supervisor, whose name he moaned in his sleep, says that she feels likewise, that he wants an open marriage, so I ask my best friend to fuck him, to get it out of his system. She agreed, but he chickened out. I also told him I didn’t want porn in our house, and he agreed.
After a big blow up by his supervisor’s husband, we were moved across country, away from his supervisor. WH told me he realized how his behavior hurt me, and promised never to do it again.
Five years later, I catch him cheating on me with a classmate, whose name he moaned in his sleep. I had a newborn. I saw an attorney, told everyone, contracted Trichomonas, the works. A coworker of WH telephoned me, and told me he saw WH behaving inappropriately in the hotel pool they stayed at in Oklahoma on a work trip. The pool bimbo was named Elizabeth. WH denied this, claiming his coworker was trying to harm our marriage.
This is how we remained until 2016!
Wh’s Youngest brother gets caught cheating, my SIL divorces his scrawny ass. SIL’s attorney asks ME when I am going to get closure from my husband because I am burying BIL with my leftover fury over my own relationship. So I go home, and start questioning WH.
Christmas 2016- we attend a work Christmas party, WH is behaving strangely. Turns out, he was hiding me from seeing a female coworker whose name he moaned in his sleep. Recognize the common denominator? I accuse him, he denies, so I find her email and ask her. She denies, and I Fall I’ll. WH has me confined to the hospital on a 72 hour psych hold. Turns out I have a bad UTI and wake up once antibiotics get into my system. So they released me early.
During this hospital stay, WH steals the money from our joint bank accounts, moving it all into one of his own. My parents and adult kids support him doing this.
Once I returned home, he transferred what was left into the remaining joint account, and apologized.
I paid for Retrouvaille, he did attend, but was still lying.
He promised a timeline, but it was inaccurate.
During all of this, I had two strokes, and can no longer bring in the big bucks I once did.
I found out the Oklahoma pool girl? He went to her room!
I found out in August 2018! Only 24 years after. And his supervisor? She blew his story wide open. She turned his offer of sex down! Twice! She had an abusive husband, four kids, and was in no way tempted by some loser subordinate offering to pork her.
She was horrified that I thought she was part of this for 25 years! This was 2016. WH denies, saying she must have wanted him too, because he doesn’t think he would have kept chasing her if she declined his offer.
So this is the impasse I am at.
I admit that I am bitter. I am 52, have had a lifetime of cheating, and am no longer financially solvent enough to leave. Even my health insurance is through his military retirement. Our son is 23, lives at home, won’t work, only completed his AA degree. Our daughter is away at college.
This was still very long, but my profile is much harder to read.
I was also molested as a child. I have never cheated, am a RN, and am too lazy to lie. I don’t want to have to keep track of the stories you have to tell to keep the lie going. The truth is easier.
I see both of our children behaving a lot like their father, and it worries me. As far as I know, neither is a cheater, but they both lie.