Hello everyone. I have been reading and posting a little bit. First I want to say that I live in Latinamerica and that I speak Spanish. So forgive my bad Englsih. The letters you use (BS, MC etc) are confusing to me - I can guess what they mean - so I won't use them if you don't mind.
My story is a bit different that many others here, but I post it anyway. Maybe it will help.
The events happened about 10 years ago. I wish I would have had a forum like this when it happened it would had helped me a lot.
When my second son was born (we have two boys), my wife was a real emotional mess. At first I thought that she was suffering of post birth depression (I am a psychologist), but then I realized that it was something worst. She was just crying all day. Staying in bed. Not wanting to breast feed the baby and she started to have suicidal thoughts.
It took me a while to realize that my wife was suffering from depression. In my defense I must say that I had to take care of my two kids, my house, my job and her. And even when I got a lot of help from my mother I was clearly overloaded.
I took her to a pyschiatrist how diagnosed her with depression and medicated her. Medication helped for a bit. At least she got out of bed and started to take care of the baby. But she was clearly not well.
Since she is a fervent catholic she decided to talk with a priest in our local parrish where she attended mass.
At first it seemed to help her. But I started to notice a lot of strange behaviours. She was calling him a lot of times a day and she was talking with him on the phone in our bedroom with the door closed. The priest name started to be dropped a lot of times in her conversations and she was going a lot of times going to see him at the parrish. It was obvious to me that something really wrong was going on. One day when I returned from work I even found the priest in my home.
But my wife was far from being good. As a matter of fact she getting worst.
One day after meeting with him she came home crying and lay on bed.
I pressed her to tell me what had happened and at first she refused. But I keep pushing and she finally told me everything.
She have had an emotional affair with the priest.
She felt that he cared about her, that he really listened her and understand what she was going on.
it is not clear to me to this day if she felt that she feel for him, but there was obviously a strong emotional connection and need to be with him.
The priest took advantage of her, while hugging he felt her up and they kissed in the lips a couple of times (the last two acording to her). She swears to this day that they never had sex and I believe her.
She told me everything I asked her and begged me not to dump her. It was obvious to me that she was not thinking clearly because of her condition and that the priest had abused of her precarious state of mind.
I told her that she had to go no contact with him and she agreed. She had decided so by herself the last time. I went to the parrish to talk to the priest and told him I knew everything. That he must no talk to her any more or I would shout in the middle of the sunday mass what he had done.
You must understand that in my country catholic church is a very powerful institution and I couldn't report him specially without any proof. I also went to talk with the bishop who heard my story and told me he would take care about it. "Take care" was simply to transfer the priest to another church.
I took my wife to another pyschiatrist and made a lot of new studies and we found out that she was bipolar. They changed medication and she started therapy to work on her personal issues. Since then she got better and better though from time to time she relapses in her depressión and we need to adjust her medication.
The day we got married I promised that I will take of her for better or worst and that's what I am doing. It is hard because medication has a lot of side effects but, ten years after, she is almost the girl I knew and feel in love with.
She never ever did anything like this after that.
In fact, when she recovered with the new meds, she told me that part of her knew that what the priest was doing was wrong but that she didn't had the emotional strenght to fight it.
We are still martried ready to celebrate 20 years of marriage.
I hope this is not too long.
[This message edited by Esteban at 7:24 AM, June 23rd (Thursday)]