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ktez

Still in post infidelity misery 9 years later

I’m still not over his affair that happened for only 6 weeks in 2014. Guys that’s nearly 10 years. We are still together and he is more or less (if he stays away from alcohol) the perfect husband. But I am reminded every day about the trauma of discovering he was cheating on me with a family friend. My life has never been the same since that day. I am stuck.
I love him, I love our home, I love what we have built together and our little family. But I am dead inside. I’m hyper vigilant if he is away on business and I constantly compare myself to other women and feel I never measure up. I honestly think I’ve ptsd. I did some IC but nothing has helped. I’ve recently started HRT in the hope that my mental state improves a bit from that.
I am not suicidal but I do think about death and how that will eventually bring peace to me, to no longer live in this cycle of trauma.
Sorry for all you that are starting out in your journey. If it was easy to leave, my advice would be go! But I know it’s not that simple if you love them or want to keep your family together

13 comments posted: Tuesday, March 28th, 2023

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