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You know he's lying. He's tried to set up his cover story already.

Did he put a tip on the receipt? If so, he did the math on the total. He knew he was charged $60 for a chicken sandwich. There are holes in his story so big you can drive a mack truck through them. I'm sorry he's doing this to you, but it will only stop when you make it stop.

I got to the point with my WH where I would just look at him and say, "Nope, DMS." (doesn't make sense). If it DMS, it's most likely lying.

My passive aggressive side would get the itemized receipt, get the whole order to go, serve him his chicken sandwich for dinner and serve myself the other meal if there was one, without saying a word.

My passive aggressive side would get the itemized receipt, get the whole order to go, serve him his chicken sandwich for dinner and serve myself the other meal if there was one, without saying a word.

That's next level petty. I love it.

My passive aggressive side would get the itemized receipt, get the whole order to go, serve him his chicken sandwich for dinner and serve myself the other meal if there was one, without saying a word.

I like your style.

My passive aggressive side would get the itemized receipt, get the whole order to go, serve him his chicken sandwich for dinner and serve myself the other meal if there was one, without saying a word.

That is beautiful.

If I ever feel the need to just destroy someone, I'm hitting you up for tips.

[This message edited by DevastatedDee at 4:16 PM, Thursday, October 14th]

You could also call the credit card company and dispute the charges. Tell them you want an itemized receipt. It'll take longer...but you'll get it.

I was in accounts payable for a little while, and worked a lot of expense reports. We required itemized receipts to ensure the employees were following the company guidelines for what you were allowed to expense, and what you were not. Several times people had to call the restaurant to get the itemized receipt, as they only submitted the subtotal one. It was never an issue, and there were employees from all over the US.

I would get it. I like the idea of ordering whatever was on the receipt and him coming home to that.

[This message edited by Underserving at 4:38 PM, Thursday, October 14th]

My passive aggressive side would get the itemized receipt, get the whole order to go, serve him his chicken sandwich for dinner and serve myself the other meal if there was one, without saying a word.

Love it! I’ve screenshot your username if I ever need ideas in the future I’ll be in touch. 🤣

My passive aggressive side would get the itemized receipt, get the whole order to go, serve him his chicken sandwich for dinner and serve myself the other meal if there was one, without saying a word.

This wins the Internet today!

And...if you do this...let us know how it goes.

I dont think he'd screw me over financially with the kid, etc. but we're not married so nothing is guaranteed.

I'm glad you have consulted an attorney, AND I would not be so quick to assume a WS would do the "right" think WRT you or your child. SI (and the world) is rife with stories of WS doing the exact opposite. I worked in the divorce industry for a very long time, and have more stories than I'd like to.

How are you doing? Were you able to obtain the receipt? Anything we can do to support you?

When you ask for the detailed receipt, show them the time stamp and ask the manager (privately) to let you view the closed circuit camera. I say privately because bartender might disclose your request to your wayward (assuming you are trying to be discreet). You will see who he was with.

You already know enough, but like the receipt, it might give you that last nail in his coffin. Best wishes.

[This message edited by CuriousObserver at 8:23 PM, Thursday, October 14th]

Update: I got the receipt. He was telling the truth.

The place he went to was expensive, charged him for fries, ranch water, and he had a tequila which is not uncommon for him. Along with what he also said he ordered, an old fashioned and chicken sandwich.

Did he lie about going there initially? Yes and that was wrong. We got into a big discussion today and I used the analogy of the trust bucket, etc. he gets it. Or seems to. He says he wants me to ask and probe and his frustration isn’t from that it’s from him living in fear that I’ll change my mind and leave and he’s so mad at himself for what he did

Anyways we had a really good discussion. I told him how I had lined up open houses to go to this weekend and was seeing an attorney to draw up a custody agreement, etc. I had my plan ready to go and fully expected this receipt to prove he was still lying. I said that’s what lying about "little things" can do. He says he understands and will continue to work on stuff and he has a lot of work today.

May be the only positive "proof" of receipt story out there lol.

(I got the receipt directly from the restaurant btw and it also shows on the tab he was alone as well as the time stamps, it does measure up).

[This message edited by NewMomNeedingAdvice at 11:57 PM, Thursday, October 14th]

You live everyday with the uncertainty that he may or may not cheat on you again.

This:

him living in fear that I’ll change my mind and leave

is the uncertainty that he has thrust upon himself due to his own actions. You are fully justified to change your mind and leave at any time.

Agreed. And he does as well for the record.

Actions have consequences.

Also I want thank you all for the advice and support.

As an aside, I went out last night and left him with the baby, I was looking fine too. I stayed out and didn’t tell him where I was at all. He was sweating for sure. Overall this whole week I’ve been acting like it’s time to move on and he knows it. It’s important I think that we both know it isn’t a done deal that I stay, especially if I’m not treated the way I deserve to be.

I don’t want to put that negative thought out here but I can’t help it. You were home with the baby and he’s out buying himself drinks and food at an expensive restaurant by himself. I wish I felt that added up. I don’t know if he was just out to get away from the house or he was out looking but for a man who is trying to prove his trust worthiness that stinks.

I get that, but it’s not uncommon and not in a bad way. We both will do that. He was out to watch a game and was gonna try to meet up with friends, that I knew, at half time and they bailed.

I went out last night on my own and spent the same amount.

I get to keep watching and definitely will, but I do think it’s important that we both can have time away. It isn’t just one sided.

I'm so glad that it turned out well and that you got some time out, too. Brava!

But he DID lie. There is nothing to celebrate. He told you he was only at the other bar. Then you found the receipt for this place.

That's a lot of eating and drinking at a place he supposedly didn't even go to. I wonder, who was he with? Why lie?

It's the lying that kills an M. And he does not get it.

All on his first night of freedom after six months???? Good luck to you. You're gonna need every ounce of it.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 10:48 PM, Friday, October 15th]

But he DID lie. There is nothing to celebrate. He told you he was only at the other bar. Then you found the receipt for this place.

That's a lot of eating and drinking at a place he supposedly didn't even go to. I wonder, who was he with? Why lie?

This was my thought as well. It doesn't make sense. He could've been having sex in the parking lot for all you know. There is absolutely no reason to lie about something like this unless he's hiding something.