Thinking of New Beginning - 39, New Mom, I dont want to start over

Hi all,

I dont want to get into my whole story just looking for support and advice. I'd been married once before in my 20s, ended due to him cheating and then I spent 10 years being single, building a life, career, etc. I lived in NYC and it was fabulous, but I also spent years being single and dating was so so so hard (and I think I'm a catch! lol) but it was hard being so alone. I wanted a relationship, a family, etc.

I moved to Texas a couple years ago, met my partner, we had a baby and I was so happy. Learned about an EA and we've been trying to R. He seems remorseful, is being transparent, etc. but I still think there's some lying going on and we're struggling. I dont know if I should throw the towel in or not. On one hand, I know what I want and deserve, sometimes it doesn't feel worth it. Am I just repeating the same crazy train.. on the other, sometimes it's the devil you know. He's working on stuff, a good dad and we have a very young child together that I'd like us to raise together.

The obvious is also financially it's easier ot stay together. Though that's not the only reason.

I know what it's like to be single and alone for so long. I dont want to go back to being single again for another 10 plus years or forever. Maybe it's different dating in Texas, but now I'm almost 40 with a baby.. and I want another child someday. This could be it ya know? I don't want to start over, I don't want to be a single mom.. I'm just frustrated. I dont know what to do anymore and I'm all jumbled up. Being a new mom is wonderful but also isolating, I know what my life may look like on my own and I dont want that.

How did you get to that place? I know no one has a crystal ball. I guess I'm just looking to vent and for advice.

4 comments posted: Wednesday, October 13th, 2021