SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I’m scanning channels and it’s on one of them. The description says it’s a touching albeit brief love story. Personally I think it’s a horrible movie that romanticizes adultery. Maybe it’s past experience coloring my view but my wife hates it too and thinks the same thing and she’s never been the victim of adultery so I don’t know. Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s a touching love story.

[This message edited by CincyKid at 8:19 PM, August 29th (Thursday)]

Same goes for Same Time, Next Year. The entertainment industry caters to waywards.

I hated Brokeback Mountain also.. it wasn't the gay sex that I disliked- it was the cheating. Ugh.

I read the book and thought it was non-fiction for some reason, CincyKid. I cried and cried. Thought it was so romantic and sad.

When I realized it was fiction, I got pissed off that someone jerked my tears. I don't like shit that purposefully makes you cry and emotionally manipulates you. I have and had enough shit in my life that makes me cry for reals.

I loved Same Time, Next Year. FWH and I even went to a play that was performed by some local theatre group in San Diego. Four Weddings and A Funeral another fav. When Harry Met Sally my all time favorite RomCom, but at least the main characters aren't the cheaters. I have always hated and despised The Notebook.

All of this was pre d-day. I don't care for movies anymore that have any adultery in it. Except for When Harry Met Sally. The others I don't usually watch, although Four Weddings I have watched again without being triggered.

But, yeah, the way all the cheating is normalized and/or romanticized. I didn't even really think of the cheating in those movies until after d-day and then I was like "What the fuck was wrong with me that I wasn't disgusted by all the cheating?"

Because in a superficial, "haven't lived it" way, it's romantic. People just don't get the pain on the other side of the fantasyland. Until you live it, the details completely escape you.

I read Bridges back in college. I cried like a baby. Like sobbing ugly cry. My mother did too, and so did my cousin when I lent them the book.

If I remember correctly, the BH was painted as somewhat of a jerk. Not treating his wife as an equal. Stifling her dreams, etc etc... There was basically no sympathy to be had for him in the book.

Sounds like page 38 of the cheaters handbook. The BH caused the affair and had it coming.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 9:19 PM, August 29th (Thursday)]

But, yeah, the way all the cheating is normalized and/or romanticized. I didn't even really think of the cheating in those movies until after d-day and then I was like "What the fuck was wrong with me that I wasn't disgusted by all the cheating?"

This is, word for word, exactly how I feel now. I've not seen Bridges of Madison County but just reading the synopsis was disgusting. All I could think about was the poor father who was duped into spending years with a woman who was secretly carrying a torch for another man. What a repulsive thing to romanticize.

friend:

That movie only causes me to vomit ...

People suck.

Ugh. Same time next year? F*ck that.

A couple weeks after dday CH likened his LTA to that story.

Because, you know, THAT was OK, and those BS weren’t all traumatized and stuff

What do you expect from Hollywood other than to romanticize cheaters? In Hollywood, and 5 year marriage is viewed as a 30year marriage in the rest of the country

sorry, Double post

[This message edited by Newlifeisgreat at 11:26 PM, August 29th (Thursday)]

OW1 mailed a copy of the movie to my husband after she moved away.

Because no one wants to do the movie about the betrayed partner and kids who had their hearts and lives torn up by a WS who didn't care or though they deserved something extra or something else.

And if they did, it would end with some happy ending with a perfect new person, no kids in therapy and no living on half of what they used to have or getting a second job.

There ought to be a documentary about the damage that cheating does and all the misery and financial hardship it causes. Plenty of TV about love and lust and running after getting whatever you desire right now.

I was watching a show where they discussed the ancient writers and philosophers contemplating human happiness. What is it and how virtue fits into happiness and contentment. Anyone constantly chasing pleasure for its own sake will never be satisfied or happy. We have known this for thousands of years.

So they were say I g today we have a view that all ideas are valid. People can do x or y and it's fine. Carried out to its full extent, we don't really want people doing whatever, it becomes chaos and destructive. That's not the way to happiness. True happiness is a heart at peace with itself and good reciprocal, honest relationships with others.

Therefore, cheating can never lead to happiness because of the deception and willingness to do harm both to oneself and others.

Romanticism it in the arts perpetuates this trend away from virtue and gives permission for selfishness and destructiveness. We have lost our way as a group in modern times. Society is under strain as people begin to question whether there is even good and evil at all.

I could give a list of movies and shows that romanticized infidelity.

That “fight against all odds to be together” while cheating are the ones that irk me the most. Like the movie The Wedding Planner. Such drivel (not even a good movie).

The movie The Godfather or Goodfellas or TV shows or series like House of Cards or Ozark to name a few.

The kiss of death to a marriage is appearing on ANY reality TV show. Those Real Housewives shows are an embarrassment but yet there is no shortage of women who willingly appear on them. What are you showing to your children and families?

one of the few honest movies to portray the trauma of betrayal is "Love, Actually."

I don't get triggered as much by movies and shows that deal with infidelity as the toxic, narcissistic and damaging behavior that it is.

That and "Fatal Attraction." While the cycle of reconciliation is necessarily "accelerated" for the plot in the film, at least it deals with the devastation honestly.

And at the end of "Fatal Attraction," it's not a sure thing that Michael Douglas and his wife will stay together. He's taking care of her while she physically heals and she's forgiven him, but I could see a future in that storyline where she leaves him for the betrayal.

Oh yeah, I can't watch it anymore. I wonder if the writer was a wayward?

The author of BOMC dumped his middle aged wife fr newby who worked for them. I hated the book. Refused to watch the movie. Hollywood stinks and it is getting worse.