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Serial Cheaters Offensive Term

20yrsagoBS posted 11/20/2020 12:25 PM

WH says being labeled a Serial Cheater is offensive because he no longer does that


WE donít hear from many serial cheaters here on SI.
Where are you?

36yearsgone posted 11/20/2020 12:36 PM

WH says being labeled a Serial Cheater is offensive because he no longer does that

A liar is always a liar, even if he/she eventually starts telling the truth.

An alcoholic, even if he/she doesn't drink, is still an alcoholic.

Sadly our behavior past and present go a long way in defining who we are. Someone who engaged in multiple affairs is a serial cheater while engaging in infidelity, while in between infidelities, and long after his or her ending infidelity.

Infidelity is far worse than what the perpetrator might be called.

It looks like you were looking for serial cheaters responses. I'm a BS, and apologize for posting.

TheLostOne2020 posted 11/20/2020 12:39 PM

My ex was like that. I said, you've cheated in every adult relationship you've had...How is that not serial cheating?

Much like everything else, she doesn't like dealing with reality.

crazyblindsided posted 11/20/2020 12:39 PM

My xWS serial cheater still thinks he's a "good person" and that I never gave him a chance

He is also the "victim" right now because I decided to end the M.

It's also my fault that the kids are growing up in a broken family where they have 2 households and that this isn't how we should be raising the kids.

It's like he should have thought about this before his 24 years of cheating on me.

My xWS doesn't even want to be labeled a "cheater" when he has had multiple A's and has lead a double life. He says he's changed

Thumos posted 11/20/2020 12:41 PM

WH says being labeled a Serial Cheater is offensive because he no longer does that

Wow shit cheaters say. 😂

gmc94 posted 11/20/2020 13:57 PM

WE donít hear from many serial cheaters here on SI.
Where are you?

I don't think many serial cheaters have the emotional wherewithal to be on SI.

My WH sure as shit can't. 3 yrs in and he cannot manage his shame response, so the dose of reality he may get here is just too much for his fragile self.

oldtruck posted 11/20/2020 21:10 PM

difference between BEING a serial cheater and WAS a serial
cheater.

now i do not know how far you are out from D day. though
keep in mind many a WW eventually has been referred as a
FWW, former WW, by her BH.

JanaGreen posted 11/20/2020 22:26 PM

Oh my fucking g**

LostInTheDesert posted 11/21/2020 00:24 AM

Someone who engaged in multiple affairs is a serial cheater while engaging in infidelity, while in between infidelities, and long after his or her ending infidelity.

A person denying being a serial cheater because they have stopped cheating is like a person denying being a serial killer because they have stopped killing.

NorthernMSB posted 11/21/2020 07:08 AM

Yes, I get it. My husband apparently is not a "liar" because you know, I never asked him if he had a girlfriend during our decades of marriage, so that means he never lied to me!

steadychevy posted 11/21/2020 07:38 AM

My XWW would not want to be called a serial cheater. But she was.

She had 3 long term relationships. She cheated on her long term boyfriend before me with multiple guys. Most were one timers. Many were when she would go to a dance with unknown partners.

While they were dating and after she also had sex with multiple guys who were married or in relationships. She claims she didn't commit adultery with the married guys because she wasn't married.

She cheated on me before we were married. She had cheater behaviour while married to me. One was when I was away for a few days at my parents preserving vegetables for us when I came home a day early to see my beloved whom I missed greatly. She was going on a sleep over (all above board because it was a married couple and she worked with the wife - very probably above board but I knew neither of them) which I was not informed of. I only found out by coming home a day early. I spent hours frantic because I didn't know where she was or how to reach her (no cell phones then) but I was totally unreasonable for being upset.

She feels she was "good" for 25 years of marriage before her LTA. There was no connection of the before marriage to me and the LTA after 25 years of marriage. Therefore she's not a serial cheater.

J707 posted 11/21/2020 09:34 AM

If the shoe fits...

HeHadADoubleLife posted 11/21/2020 09:37 AM

A person denying being a serial cheater because they have stopped cheating is like a person denying being a serial killer because they have stopped killing.
^^^

Also, don't want to be labeled a serial cheater? Then don't be one. Pretty simple.

sisoon posted 11/21/2020 11:04 AM

I expect any cheater, with multiple As or one, who objects to being labeled a cheater is far from healed, far from earning the 'fWS' descriptor, and not all that close to being a good candidate for R.

Someone who has changed from cheater to good partner has transcended the label, IMO. Since your H doesn't seem to have done much work and still lies, 20yrsago, I can understand at least some of your frustration and anger at his statement.

There are former serial cheaters around, but IMO this sort of thread isn't likely to evoke responses from them. SI member #2 would weigh in, of course, if she could.

[This message edited by sisoon at 11:05 AM, November 21st (Saturday)]

Krystlebefore posted 11/22/2020 21:46 PM

I'm a serial cheater.
I'm o.k. with that title - its what I am.
if my husband called me that - I'd be yep o.k....(we are further out than most folk on this thread though).

Sisson's first comment above - is key I think.

GoldenR posted 11/23/2020 05:22 AM

I told my XWW she was a serial cheater. She said, "How'd you know I poured Cheerios & milk in my hoo-ha?".

leavingorbit posted 11/23/2020 06:05 AM

Iím here. I agree with krystlebefore and sisoon.

TheLostOne2020 posted 11/23/2020 08:20 AM

crazyblindsided

My xWS serial cheater still thinks he's a "good person" and that I never gave him a chance
He is also the "victim" right now because I decided to end the M.

God they're all the fucking same, aren't they? Mine is just like that. She's the victim of circumstances beyond her control. Right.

It's also my fault that the kids are growing up in a broken family where they have 2 households and that this isn't how we should be raising the kids.

It's like he should have thought about this before his 24 years of cheating on me.

I hope you aren't putting up with this nonsense. He broke the home because of his shitty morals and principles.

My xWS doesn't even want to be labeled a "cheater" when he has had multiple A's and has lead a double life. He says he's changed

Well that's too damned bad, you didn't want to be married to someone who neglected their vows.

He hasn't changed. Most of them don't.

Change requires effort.

[This message edited by TheLostOne2020 at 8:21 AM, November 23rd (Monday)]

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