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Dreamt that I was the cheater....

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landclark posted 10/26/2020 07:20 AM

To be clear, I have no revenge fantasies. It's not for me at all, which makes this dream really strange.

Normally my bad cheating dreams are about my WH cheating. Last night (well, really early this morning) I dreamt that I was the cheater. That I was cruelly flaunting it in my WH's face, and not allowing him to also go do his own thing. I remember the hurt look on his face. I remember feeling sad when he finally said he was going to find another woman.

It has left me feeling really off today. I really hate bad dreams!

Anybody else have especially cruel revenge affair dreams? (I mean dreams, not talking about active fantasies)

Unhinged posted 10/26/2020 08:58 AM

Been there, done that, and if I have such a dream tonight I'm gonna blame you.

BentandBroken posted 10/26/2020 09:11 AM

Kinda similar. Over the years before dDay I would occasionally have dreams that I had cheated. In my dreams I was always devastated, knowing I had done the unforgivable. When I woke I was always so relieved!! Literally almost crying with relief that it was only a dream.

Of course now I wonder if my subconscious was trying to warn me. Was it always right there for me to see? 😟

TwoDozen posted 10/26/2020 09:24 AM

Yup almost every night I dream about either WGF cheating on me, Hiding things from me, lying to me or me doing these things to WGF. The dreams always affect my mood for a while but I知 getting better at dealing with them. The worst dreams I have are the ones when I知 friends with the AP, having a beer etc FFS.

landclark posted 10/26/2020 09:29 AM

Unhinged, lol. Sorry in advance if that happens!

landclark posted 10/26/2020 09:31 AM

The worst dreams I have are the ones when I知 friends with the AP, having a beer etc FFS.

Ugh! That would be awful!

Of course now I wonder if my subconscious was trying to warn me.

Not sure where my subconscious was going with this one! I am sure it was something I read or something, but still, really annoying.

[This message edited by landclark at 9:31 AM, October 26th (Monday)]

ibonnie posted 10/26/2020 09:40 AM

I had a cheating dream recently, and it was just... awful. I was hanging out with an ex-boyfriend, and we were super flirty and inappropriate with each other. It was intoxicating and arousing, but, I still couldn't cross THE line. No kissing. No sex.

It was only a dream, but I still couldn't cross the line, BECAUSE in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about my WH and our family together and how that/they were more important to me than what I was feeling with my ex-boyfriend.

I woke up feeling all fucked up, because WH obviously had no problem fucking his coworker... repeatedly... for months.

landclark posted 10/26/2020 09:48 AM

ibonnie, I definitely crossed the line in my dream, and was cruel about it. I don't believe I would ever do that IRL, but it bothers me that I did it in a dream!

sisoon posted 10/26/2020 11:20 AM

Pre-d-day, about the only dream I remembered was getting into bed with the young Sophia Loren, sitting up and saying, Where's plainsong? I'm supposed to be with plainsong!' After d-day, plainsong didn't come into those dreams.

I don't remember dreaming about SL since about 2014.

They're just dreams. That's all. Dreams are pretty far away from being actions.

Except ... am I sisoon in bed with SL dreaming about posting on SI?


Chaos posted 10/26/2020 13:44 PM

I have had similar to ibonnie.

I find myself in a place where things are about to happen with someone [sometimes I know them other times not] yet won't act. They all end the same, with me walking away saying "I just can't - this isn't right"

Funny - I never had those until DDay. Go figure. Even in my dreams I'm loyal to the core. And even at those I wake in a cold sweat.

ETA - the ones that cause me to wake up in a dead panic - the dreams where I am mistaken for LTAP. While I haven't had one in a while, those haunt me even as I type this.

[This message edited by Chaos at 1:45 PM, October 26th (Monday)]

landclark posted 10/26/2020 13:55 PM

Well, I don稚 think having a dream about it means I知 not loyal.

LemonSpearmint posted 10/26/2020 16:39 PM

I don't think it means you're not loyal.

Pre-A I would have disgusting dreams about cheating on H with really gross people. I would wake up feeling awful.

IRL I think it just enforced for me that cheating on my husband was something I could not live with, since I couldn't stomach the guilt from even a dream.

Post-A I now regularly dream about meeting the AP, which is always unpleasant, but no more icky dreams about being wayward myself. Every night I hope for no dreams at all.

I hope you all dream pleasant dreams from now on - we all deserve a break when we sleep.

Bingo posted 10/26/2020 16:47 PM

I have had recurring nightmares where my xwh and the ap are raping me..

Man, talk about traumatic!!

But, IRL, I guess they really did rape me, in more ways than one.

landclark posted 10/26/2020 16:51 PM

Bingo, that痴 awful. I知 so sorry. :(

landclark posted 10/26/2020 16:53 PM

I hope you all dream pleasant dreams from now on - we all deserve a break when we sleep

I did have a dream the other night that I saved the world from King Kong, and it lead to a badass government job. I was recruited by my mother in law who passed in 2013. The mind is a funny thing.

LemonSpearmint posted 10/26/2020 17:16 PM

Bingo - that sucks. I can see where those feelings would come from. I hope you never have that dream again. ((Hugs))


landclark - that sounds brilliant

Trapped74 posted 10/26/2020 17:34 PM

When I first got together with my POSWH I used to have the worst dreams that I was cheating on him with my "favorite" ex. I'd wake up so, SO relieved it was just a dream because I would have been so devastated to ruin the "best thing that happened" to me.


Psshhhh. Isn't that just hilarious?

landclark posted 10/26/2020 17:42 PM

I never had dreams about cheating on him prior to finding out he cheated on me. I did have many dreams of him cheating though, and still do at least every few weeks. I should have listened!

I did have a dream earlier this year that Chris Pratt was in love with me and I turned him away because we were both married. Ugh. Biggest dream regret ever.

20yrsagoBS posted 10/26/2020 19:17 PM

I used to dream an old, handsome, excellent sex partner ex boyfriend reached out to me, and I left with him. I used to feel guilty about it


Until DDay.

Nope! Now I enjoy reminiscing about those great sex days!

ShatteredSakura posted 10/26/2020 20:37 PM

I wonder if one aspect of a dream like this -after- DDay is because you want them to feel how it is to be on the other side of the fence. Not even a revenge thing but as a cry of "please understand me".

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