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My divorce because of my infidelities.

Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

anonymous45 posted 8/4/2020 09:24 AM

I had been married for 16 years and have 3 kids ages 20, 15, and 12.

It was a interracial marriage. My soon-to-be ex-wife is a Caucasian Woman and I was born in Bangladesh.

Both of us are 39 years old.

My soon-to-be ex-wife is originally from the state of Texas and I am originally from the state of Ohio.

Back in 1998, I was a Freshman at my dream school The Ohio State University and on a Soccer Scholarship. My soon-to-be ex-wife came from Austin, TX to attend Ohio State University. I was a Chemical Engineering Major and she was a Psychology Major.

We met during Freshman Orientation at Ohio State University. The second time that we saw each other was during a Fraternity Party in which we were both drunk and went back to my dorm room and had a one night stand. A couple of weeks later, she finds me on campus and tells me that she is pregnant with our daughter and she will keep the baby as her and her family talked it over for hours and they wanted her to finish her degree. I wanted to get to know her better and date her. After our oldest daughter was born, her parents came from Texas and took our daughter as we were continuing with our education. We would visit our daughter during every break. I didn't have a car during my undergraduate years however, she did. The relationship between the two of us blossomed and before Senior Year, we got engaged and after graduation, we got married.

My soon-to-be ex-wife’s parents and her two younger sisters didn't like me because they are a conservative family from Texas and I am a dark skinned guy originally from Bangladesh but grew up in Ohio.

After graduation, my wife was accepted into the University of Texas at Austin School of Law and I was admitted to the University of Texas Graduate School. We rented an apartment in Austin, TX as her parents took care of our daughter. During her second year of Law School, she was pregnant with our second daughter and after finishing up Law School, she was pregnant with our son.

We bought a home and were happy.

She got a job as an Assistant Prosecutor and still is one.

I found an engineering job.

In 2012, she had suffered her first miscarriage and I was there at her side and comforted her like a good husband should be able to.

In late 2015, she had suffered her second miscarriage, this time around, she kept pushing me away, I kept suggesting that we go to counseling and she kept refusing, she wouldn't even let me sleep in our own bed and I had to keep sleeping on the couch.

Back in 1998, my soon-to-be ex-wife, her best friend who is a Pediatrician, and her best friends husband all came from the same high school and attended Ohio State University. I was the only native Ohioan. After graduation, all They moved back to Austin and so did my wife and I.

I was a jogger during the marriage and one day when I came home from jogging, my soon-to-be ex-wife was there with 6 of her closest friends including her now former best friend The Pediatrician. The Pediatrician asked me if she could be my jogging partner and my wife said that she had no problem with it.

We started jogging together for weeks and then I started confiding in her that my marriage has been strained as my wife has been distancing herself from me and quit showing me affection and attention and kept denying me sex. Her best friend told me that she was having trouble in her marriage also.

The two of us started hanging out together other than jogging, we texted each other for months, and then I admitted to her that I was sexually attracted to her and she told me that she felt the same way. Even though, she was my wife's best friend. We began having a full-blown affair which lasted for 3.5 years. We would have sex in motels, in the backseat of each other's cars, and at each other's houses when our spouses and kids weren't home.

I fell in love with my wife's best friend, however, she told me that she will not leave her husband for me and she was afraid of potentially losing her kids if she left her husband.

During my marriage, I had 3 affairs. The first one was, after my wife had completed Law School and we bought our house. The affair partner was our young realtor. It only lasted for 6 weeks. I ended the affair, but she wanted to keep it going. She threatened to tell my wife about how much of a snake I am. I told her, if she broke up my family, I will personally tell her employer, colleagues, clients, friends, and family of how unethical she is of sleeping with one of her married clients. She got afraid and kept her mouth shut.

The second affair partner was my wife's best friend.

The third affair partner was with a married colleague who had a young child. This was going on during the later stages of the affair with my wife's best friend.

Anyway, in late 2019, my wife's so called best friend ended the affair with me and I was pissed. I ended up destroying her marriage by sending racy stuff about our affair to her husband. Her husband contacted my wife while she was at work.

My wife came home from work and we got into a gigantic argument in which we were both going from room to room arguing and cussing each other out.

My wife finally admitted everything to me.

She told me that she never cheated on me, also when her parents weren't warm to the idea of her marrying me because of my race, she told them that she was the first woman that I had ever been with and that I would be a good husband and a great father.

Also, I had a strict mother who lived back in my home state of Ohio. Because of my race, the first 18 years of my life, she wouldn't let me date. Also, my mother was a college professor, what really made me resent her even to this day was the fact that she wanted me to attend Stanford because of my GPA.

I am an Ohio State University Buckeye fanatic and was on a Soccer Scholarship at Ohio State University. Nobody stops me from being a Buckeye.

After my wedding, I cut of ties with my mother and told her to never contact me, my wife, or my daughter as she grows up. This was before we moved to my wife's home state of Texas.

Anyway, during the day my wife asked me for the divorce, since our oldest daughter who is about to start her Senior Year at Ohio State and wants to go to Law School and become a Prosecutor just like her POS mother. My wife had told me that before our oldest daughter left Texas to attend Ohio State University, my wife gave our daughter my mother's contact information so that she can get to know her grandmother. Well, I now know that my oldest daughter and my POS mother have formed a good bond.

My soon-to-be ex-wife is a vindictive POS. She is going to clean me out and get full custody of our 2 youngest kids. This is the punishment that I get for marrying a POS woman who would end up being an Assistant Prosecutor.

I remember when the affair with her now former best friend was going on, my wife had asked me one morning if I still loved her and if there was another woman, I reacted crazy to hide my guilt. I told her that she needs to take a break from her job from Prosecuting criminals and seek a mental health evaluation and that she is losing her mind.

During the day that she asked for the divorce, she asked me this, keep in mind, I will not write the curse word completely:

She asked me:

"How much of a f-ing loser are you? You're a failure as a husband, a father, and as a professional who has been fired from his job 3 times since we got married."

I told her:

"You're a f-ing c-nt, please let me know how much of a disgrace I am."

That line right there was the icing in the cake.

My 20 year old daughter wants nothing more to do with me after what I did to their mother.

My 15 year old daughter wants nothing more to do with me after what I did to their POS mother.

My 12 year old son doesn't want to speak to me anymore.

This woman alienated our 3 kids against me.

This is the unmitigated disaster of marrying a Prosecutor.

My advice to anyone who is dating a woman who is a Lawyer or is trying to become a Lawyer, just end the relationship. Also, please don't cheat on a female lawyer.

I lost my house, my wife, and kids.

I moved and signed a 1-year lease for an apartment in Austin, TX.

After my divorce becomes final, I will move back to Columbus, OH.

I felt entitled to have my wife's best friend.

I tried to be a good husband, especially after both of her miscarriages, she kept pushing me away.

Life sucks.

[This message edited by anonymous45 at 11:01 AM, August 4th (Tuesday)]

nekonamida posted 8/4/2020 09:49 AM

Anonymous, if you're looking for sympathy, you're not going to find it here. You are just as much, if not more so, as guilty as your STBXW is and you deserve the difficult divorce she is giving you.

This woman alienated our 3 kids against me.

Even if there was any truth to this, you sure as hell made it easy for her! But your kids aren't babies. They're not naive to how wrong what you did was. They see the pain your STBX is going through that you refuse to acknowledge. And they are not too stupid to see how selfish you have been throughout your life and outside of the cheating. You cut off your own mother for a reason and now they are cutting you off for a reason. I'm betting your mom has been sitting down making up excuses about why you cut her off without reflecting on her behavior too just like you are right now with your daughters. Bad talking your STBX will not win over any favors with them and will instead embolden them to see you are a toxic influence in their lives.

If you're serious about salvaging a relationship with your kids, start by apologizing to them for your affairs. Start by acknowledging how wrong you were for doing that. Start by acknowledging that your actions have negatively impacted their lives. DON'T even mention your STBX when you do this. She didn't make you do it and she is well within her right to divorce you for it so you need to apologize without her ever entering that message.

Bigger posted 8/4/2020 09:56 AM

If you want to remain anonymous I would remove A LOT of the info in your post. It’s not tough to google the sports-team for the school you mentioned, the nationality you mention and the year mentioned to narrow your identity down to 2-3…

GiggleLoopMayor posted 8/4/2020 09:58 AM

Nah man this is the unmitigated disaster of being a scumbag. You cheat on your wite constantly, and had two affairs going on with married women. Pathetic. To top it off when one AP broke it off you were a vindictive arrogant man who then decided to taunt and mock her husband as revenge. How cruel can you be? And of course that would blow up in your face. From the tone of your post youre a selfish, emtitled, callous insecure little man who believes that his undoing was the fault of everyone else. The best part is you will always be this way because i dont see a shred of change or decency in what you wrote. Honestly id leave your poor wife alone, sounds like shes had enough and i cant imayine dealing with a cheating husband throwong a toddler temper tantrum is easy. If you want to rebuild your bond with your kids your going to have to grow up and own what you did and accept that you hurt and blew up everybodies world.

gmc94 posted 8/4/2020 10:00 AM

You may want to post this in wayward.

Why are you here? To warn folks of the 'dangers' of WOMEN attorneys? Which is pretty effing rich, considering you fucked her best friend for 3.5 years.

Or do you want to try and change to become a decent human being?

Catwoman posted 8/4/2020 10:13 AM

This is the unmitigated disaster of marrying a Prosecutor.

No, these are the consequences of the actions you chose to take.

It is not her fault that you chose to have an affair with her best friend.

It is not her fault that you broke ties with your mother (and seriously--over where to go to school?)

It is not her fault that your children are understandably hurt and angry because of your behaviors.

Perhaps it's time to examine your actions and take responsibility for them. Nowhere in your post do I see you accepting any sort of responsibility for the myriad bad choices you have made and their effects on the people you love.

I felt entitled to have my wife's best friend.



firenze posted 8/4/2020 10:30 AM

Just FYI you're a serial adulterer and an all around poor excuse for a human being. Your wife's contempt is what you deserve. Your children wanting nothing to do with you is what you deserve. Being taken for everything you have in the divorce is what you deserve. Take your anger and choke on it. You did this to yourself.

SlapNutsABingo posted 8/4/2020 10:41 AM

You got POS right, you just assigned it to the wrong people.....

Chili posted 8/4/2020 10:44 AM


I agree that you should probably ask to have this thread moved to Wayward side.

And realize that you might get some strong reactions by calling the mother of your children (who you cheated on for years and who has the right to divorce you) a POS. Frankly, I stopped reading your story once I saw the name-calling.

Actions have consequences and your wife doesn't run the entire legal system. Everyone, including you, has rights in this process.

Carissima posted 8/4/2020 11:32 AM

If you want to remain anonymous I would remove A LOT of the info in your post. It’s not tough to google the sports-team for the school you mentioned, the nationality you mention and the year mentioned to narrow your identity down to 2-3…

He'd need to do it in all the sites he's posted in to warn against marrying women lawyers!

Just wondering when you think you were a good husband? You had your first affair when your wife had just completed law school.
You obviously have no morals and low character, you even blackmailed your APs.
I hope your wife and children do well in their new lives away from you.

Stinger posted 8/4/2020 11:34 AM

Frankly, you sound nuttier than a fruitcake.

susielee posted 8/4/2020 11:43 AM

Surely this is a troll. No one is this stupid. Or are they. I guess it is possible.

Dragonfly123 posted 8/4/2020 11:43 AM

Let me get this right. You have cheated three times in your marriage.

The first to a woman who you blackmailed into keeping silent.

The second to your wife’s best friend who then wouldn’t leave her husband so you spitefully and wilfully blow up her life for her.

Then while still ‘in love’ with your second AP, you start on another a mother of a young child.

All the while you’re systematically lying and betraying your faithful, loyal wife. Ripping away her personal agency. Putting the mother of your children at risk emotionally, mentally and physically. Putting her at risk of life threatening STDs, and the anguish that comes from PTSD related to infidelity.

And when you’re found out you yell obscenities at your clearly destroyed wife and she’s the POS in all this?


I have NO WORDS right now, other than to say, your wife is my hero right now!

[This message edited by Dragonfly123 at 12:35 PM, August 4th (Tuesday)]

EllieKMAS posted 8/4/2020 11:45 AM

My soon-to-be ex-wife is a vindictive POS. She is going to clean me out and get full custody of our 2 youngest kids. This is the punishment that I get for marrying a POS woman who would end up being an Assistant Prosecutor.


There. Fixed that for you.

Sir, you have some damn nerve coming on here and calling your betrayed wife a POS... Take a good hard look in the mirror - ALL OF THIS IS BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO ENGAGE IN AFFAIRS. If you don't like those consequences, maybe you should dig in and figure out why you were willing to take these risks.

Thomas11 posted 8/4/2020 11:46 AM

I feel terrible for your kids and wife. Hope you see the light and change for the better, but I’m a big fan of Karma and does not seem like enough can come your way.

OwningItNow posted 8/4/2020 11:51 AM

1. There are too many identifying details in this. Please take some out (states, years, locations, jobs) for your safety.

2. The biggest mistake you made was cheating instead of divorcing. By hiding from your feelings and issues instead of honestly admitting and dealing, all other damage cascaded down on everyone.

I felt entitled to have my wife's best friend.


Are you trolling us? This story feels like a set up. Not even sure what it is you want.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 11:55 AM, August 4th (Tuesday)]

landclark posted 8/4/2020 11:55 AM

If this is real, then dude, you have serious issues. If I were your wife and kids, I'd be running in the other direction as well......

Evertrying posted 8/4/2020 12:16 PM

This post can't possibly be real. No one is that big of a douche.

skerzoid posted 8/4/2020 12:48 PM

My sword is glowing bright blue, almost blue white. Gandalf needs to take care of this one.

Lalagirl posted 8/4/2020 12:49 PM

No one is this stupid. Or are they. I guess it is possible.

Unfortunately there are - NPD at its finest.

OP, you will find zero support on this site given your mindset. Come back and see us after you've had about 50 years of serious therapy.

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