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Betrayed Womenz Thread - Part 3

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cocoplus5nuts posted 12/22/2019 09:09 AM

I'm sorry, 20years

EllieKMAS posted 12/22/2019 09:45 AM

20yobs I am so sorry about your sweet pupper!

CallingSpades posted 12/22/2019 12:33 PM

Sorry to hear, 20years. That's such a tough decision. My 13 year old very big dog has a degenerative disease, so the time is coming, but he's still comfortable. I agree with you that suffering that won't improve shouldn't be ignored.

Ellie, congratulations on having your own name back! Anybody out there have advice on changing their name back, with kids? I do want to go back to my real name, but then I'll have a different name than my kids. Any advice?

I'm here trying to make nice for the next week and a half, and WH is too, so most of the time it's not that bad. The problem is when his douchebaggery shows through even when he's trying to be nice. He came home with a meal plan. Did not ask me what I wanted or if I had anything planned (or acknowledge the fridge full of leftovers). Typical self-centered presumptuous asshat that just comes home when he feels like it and thinks he can do what he wants to show off that he learned to make bread in all the free time he had while I take care of his kids. Then I'm the bitch for being neither grateful or impressed. Fortunately I give zero fucks atm what he thinks of me so I just told him no, you're not making that tonight, fuck off.

I'm super nauseous because I was looking at lists of things I saved for the kids in our joint Amazon account, and noticed he had "Every Man's Marriage" in his list in 2007. 2007! We weren't even married. It's about a man's biblically justified leadership role in marriage... And submission. Look, no offense to Christians who choose to live this way as a couple, but this would NEVER be my choice and I never implied such.

What a red flag! I could have avoided this whole shitshow. Also, he didn't have the original in the series, about avoiding temptation, on the list. Also he watches porn like it's his job. I'm so grossed out by his existence right now. 1 1/2 more weeks...I can do it ... manifest calm!

EllieKMAS posted 12/22/2019 13:16 PM

CS, my mom my sis and I all had different last names. Never bothered us one bit. Tho I'm sure it confused the mailman!

skeetermooch posted 12/22/2019 14:13 PM

20years- so sorry about your puppy.

Thank you all for the replacement word: fuckwart - so much meaning: 1. They are sti magnets so yeah - they are candidates for warts.
2. Their souls are comparable to venereal warts

gmc94 posted 12/22/2019 22:19 PM

Their souls are comparable to venereal warts
Ouch and ROFLMAO.

Hey 20+, so sorry about the pooch. Funny, my WH's last contact with POSOW before dday (or at least last contact I could verify) was the day my DD was home waiting for the vet to euthanize our 4-legged family member.
I could not rearrange something I had to do with DS that morning, so She asked that her dad be here with her (understandably did not want to be alone during the procedure). So, while she's waiting for the vet to come and put the dog down, and she's saying her goodbyes to her dog, he's on FB, messaging his girlfriend "merry christmas, let's get together after the new year". Come to think of it, that was 2 years ago today

Fuckwart that he is.

[This message edited by gmc94 at 10:20 PM, December 22nd (Sunday)]

Maudlin posted 12/23/2019 02:22 AM

Iím so sorry about your dog, 20 yrs.

I never changed my name (thank god!) when I married so thatís easy enough. My girls have different names only because he pressured me into having only his for oldest dd, but I stood firm and hyphenated with both for younger dd. Older dd has wanted to add mine for a long time, since we live overseas itís hard to do but she will at some point.

My soon to be exMIL asked me years ago when we got married, what would I do when the school thought I was the stepmom since my name was different? Uh, nothing? Since like...I know Iím her mom and she does and it isnít 1940?

I have a feeling the spin going on with that side of the family involves ďwell she never changed her name so of course it wouldnít work outĒ. No seriously, that is something they would say 🙄

I have a severe metal allergy and canít wear a ring also, never have in 22 years of marriage. Kept my name and no ring, yet somehow I never cheated...it almost seems like the real thing that matters is character and integrity, not meaningless symbols....

DaisyAnne posted 12/23/2019 07:05 AM

20years, I am so sorry for your loss.

Ellie, congrats on getting your name back!

I saw this on Facebook and it really hit me. Whether you are in R, in limbo, or separating/divoced.... this is my wish for all of you strong womenz!

EllieKMAS posted 12/23/2019 08:39 AM

Skeeter - Dying LOL at your definitions! Yessssss!

it almost seems like the real thing that matters is character and integrity, not meaningless symbols....
Word sister!

Daisy I have been seeing that one too and it resonated bigtime.

Merry Christmas all you beauties! Hope your holidays are as fabulous as you are!

cocoplus5nuts posted 12/23/2019 09:33 AM

Ugh, CS! Deep breaths. You can get through this. And, remember, you can always tell him to leave. I can't stand that husbands are the rulers of the family and wives are supposed to submit bullshit. There was no way anything like that would fly with me. Lucky for me (?), my fch was spineless and gave up all his power to me.


it almost seems like the real thing that matters is character and integrity, not meaningless symbols


Nah, really? My fch was the one who insisted we get married. Our relationship wasn't legit until we signed that contract.

I didn't change my name when I got married. My MIL was upset. I didn't care. My soon-to-be H asked why I didn't at least hyphenate my name. I asked him if he was going to hyphenate his. He said, "No. That's ridiculous!" Well, if it's ridiculous for you, it's ridiculous for me. My oldest son (not my fch's) has my last name. Our 3 younger boys have my fch's last name. I didn't care who had what name. The boys don't question it.

It confuses the hell out of people, which I don't understand with so many single parents these days. It really confuses the military. The first time I got something in the mail from my fch's unit, it was addressed to Mrs. FCH. I wrote, "No one by this name at this address," on the envelope and sent it back. After that, my fch made sure everyone knew I had a different name.

Once, more recently, someone screwed up again and put the wrong name on my seating card at the Ball. I didn't make a huge stink, but I let it be known that I was not happy. Again, my fch makes sure that they get my name right now. I think he gets embarrassed when I say something about it. Again, I don't care. I really get a kick out of it when people call my fch., Mr. Coco. Hehe

Chaos posted 12/23/2019 09:37 AM

FUCKWART -

Definitely one for the Dictionary

20Years - sending big hugs

Ellie - I will do a re-naming toast in your honor

Today's breakfast consisted of coffee and chocolate.

FUCK MONDAYs and Happy Festivus. We put up a pole at work and are on to the Airing of the Grievances. Oh the ones I can't say LOL.

Happy Hanukkah to those celebrating.

The Land of Chaos is doing well. Rocked an Ugly Sweater party this weekend. I still haven't had to say FUCK YOU to any tree so far this Christmas. Hoping this continues.

gmc94 posted 12/23/2019 11:08 AM

I changed my name mostly bc my DS (from prior relationship) has his biodad's name (a decision I have regretted every fucking day since - his dad was a MAJOR fuckwart and has had no role in DS's life for nearly 20 yrs). So, I didn't want to be dealing with THREE names (DS w/ bio dad, me with maiden, and WH w/ his own). By taking WH's last name, we only had two names to contend with (and if it weren't for child support, I think WH would have been happy to adopt DS and taken WH's name too).

If I'd given DS my name, I would have kept my name when I married (and been fine with DD having her dad's last name) shoulda coulda woulda.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakua, and MOTHERFUCKING HAPPY DAMN FESTIVUS!
I got some grievances to air this year :)

Tallgirl posted 12/25/2019 07:27 AM

Merry Christmas dear Womenz All the best.

Chaos posted 12/27/2019 10:16 AM

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Womenz!

I did it! I went an entire season without once saying FUCK YOU to my tree or any other decorations.

For the first time in many years I was OK with the season - not filled with dread.

I actually enjoyed the parties and festivities.

I even during Christmas Eve Mass prayed for OBS and the entire family (while I didn't specifically mention Donut Whore in that prayer - I did list OBS, her children's names and "the entire family") I have no idea why that need to do so came over me - but since it happened in Church, I went with it.

Then BAM! The Holiday Happiness Hangover Hit. At least - for once - I am able to recognize it for what it is and realize I just need to ride it out.

WH noticed - and asked a few times - and while I didn't tell him "Happiness Hangover" or "well it finally caught up to me that so many fucking Christmases that I thought I was happy you were fucking your GD Donut Whore" I did say "I'll be OK - I just need to let some things work their way out of my system" The fact that he was in tune and wouldn't let me brush it off is comforting on some levels.

So that's the Holiday Update from the Land of Chaos

DaisyAnne posted 12/27/2019 13:15 PM

Merry Christmas womenz! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday despite of everything.


WH noticed - and asked a few times - and while I didn't tell him "Happiness Hangover" or "well it finally caught up to me that so many fucking Christmases that I thought I was happy you were fucking your GD Donut Whore" I did say "I'll be OK - I just need to let some things work their way out of my system" The fact that he was in tune and wouldn't let me brush it off is comforting on some levels.

This was the only hard part of my Christmas was well. It was Christmas Eve morning and he could tell something was bothering me. I simply told him that I will be fine but right now I am just thinking about the past few Christmases when I thought we were happy and I had no idea what was really going on. He said he understood and let me be. I didn't want to dwell on it, but I also did want to let him know how I was feeling.

I really didn't think about it for the rest of the holidays. Not in a bad way, at least. I felt grateful for where we are in our journey.


His surprise Christmas gift to me is a long weekend getaway for just the two of us in 2 weeks. We haven't gone on a real trip as a couple that involves flying somewhere since we had kids (16 years). I can't wait to be away, enjoy quality time together. And be warm!

Chaos posted 12/27/2019 13:20 PM

DaisyAnne enjoy your trip. This past summer WH and I went away for a week for the first time in just about 2 decades. It was nice.

Let us know how much fun you had AND how warm it was

cocoplus5nuts posted 12/27/2019 17:06 PM

Happy holidays!

What's up with everyone else?

I'm just chugging along here. Christmas was good. I actually got my fch some gifts that he really wanted. I haven't wanted to do that in years. We all ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon for each other. It was pretty funny because we couldn't track packages. We didn't know which package was which and who had got it for whom. Anyway, we had to return more than half of it because it didn't fit. 😕 That's the one reason I don't like online shopping. But, I can't find stuff worth buying at my local stores.

Tallgirl posted 12/27/2019 22:21 PM

20yrs. I am sorry about your dog, it is so hard to lose a pet.

Ellie, you are now totally free to find you. Ellie Awesomeness is back! Congrats

. Exdoucheís ex is a bit freaky sounding.

Tallgirl posted 12/28/2019 05:16 AM

Daisy Anne thanks for sharing - it gives the many tears purpose. 🙂

20yrsagoBS posted 12/28/2019 20:32 PM

I had a dear friend call today and tell me she caught her husband on dating apps and chatting with webcam girls.


Oh I remember that devastation well

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