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Off Topic :
Need all the mojo and prayers i can get please

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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 1:46 AM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

Hehehe I spoke to soon. All the fittings held fine but the clamp on the well hose let go and well the basement got a bath. Luckily I caught it and there's a floor drain close.

New clamp on and no leaks thus far.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25830   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8845255
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 2:57 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

I’m so happy that you have so many things to keep you busy. I guess that’s easy for me to say, but you know what I mean. You are right… Just sitting around waiting is so very horrible. We had eight days of it once my husband became nonresponsive. And the time that you have had has been so much longer as he has been going through so many challenges.

Your head seems to be in a really good place about all of this. Unfortunately, because of your brothers untimely death, you know the drill. But you know, I think your Father’s passing might not be quite as unbearable for you. He has lived a long life, and you are mentally preparing yourself. Whereas your brother’s death was so sudden and unexpected.

I surely am thinking of you and your kids and I’m praying for you all to move through this as smoothly as possible.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8226   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8845281
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 4:40 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2024

Whats right, I'm really trying to keep it all together. Some days are easier thsn others. Keeping busy helps.

We are on day 12 of dad being on comfort care/palliative/hospice. He's the same. Mom is heading down to see him now. My brother has gone away for a few days. A trip with friends he had planned months ago. Mom and I told him to go. Sitting around waiting for dad to pass wasn't doing him any good. If dad passes while he's gone the funeral won't be until he gets back anyways.

I can't say dad's situation is easier than losing my other brother but it's different. The way dad is now is how my brother didn't want to die and as painful as it was for us he got his wish. Watching dad wither away is awful beyond words.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25830   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8845372
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 12:08 AM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

My dad passed this afternoon.

Mom had been there with him today and it wasn't long after she got home that the hospital called.

My brother is on his trip and out of cell range. I haven't been able to get a hold of him yet. He's back Sunday. Not sure when the funeral will be but I'm going down to help mom with the arrangements.

At least his suffering is over.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25830   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8845395
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 12:32 AM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

(((DragnHeart))) Wishing every heavenly blessing on you and your family at this time.

posts: 2150   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8845398
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 1:13 AM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

Sending you hugs.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3645   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8845399
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SackOfSorry ( member #83195) posted at 2:09 AM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

I'm sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.

Me - BW
DDay - May 4, 2013

And nothing's quite as sure as change. (The Mamas and the Papas)

posts: 151   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2023
id 8845400
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:23 AM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

So so sorry Dragn. I know the loss is tremendous, but I am glad your father suffering is over. I hope you and your mom can hold each other up and support each other through these next difficult days and weeks. You were a great daughter and your dad knew You loved him and obviously he loved you just as much back. Sending deepest condolences.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6163   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8845404
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 11:58 AM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

I’m so sorry, sweetie. I know how hard it is to lose a father. Take care of you and your dragons and take any help you’re offered from F&F. Hugs.

Me-58 FWH-60 Married 40 years 9/2/2023 grown daughters-40&36.14yo GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); 12yo GD & 7yo GD(DD36). D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8904   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8845410
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annb ( member #22386) posted at 2:53 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

Dragn, my sincerest condolences to you and your family. crying

Sending a huge virtual hug...(((((((((Dragn)))))))

posts: 12198   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 8845446
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:23 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

((((And Strength)))))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20256   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8845495
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:11 AM on Saturday, August 10th, 2024

Thank you everyone.

We are ok. Sad but ok. Mom and I made the funeral arrangements today. Picked out his coffin and vault. Then went and ordered the flowers.

His coffin will have bass fish on each corner. Fitting as he was a tournament bass fisherman.

A neighbour brought over food for mom and we had people stop in. My cousin called. Word is getting around but mom will make more calls tomorrow to inform people of dad's passing and when the funeral is.

We still haven't gotten a hold of my brother. I'm assuming once he's back in cell range his phone will blow up with messages. I left him a voicemail as soon as mom called me so hopefully he gets that message first.

The kids are doing amazing through all of this.

We are all tired. So I'll be heading to bed soon. I need rest.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25830   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8845573
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:58 AM on Saturday, August 10th, 2024

Do sorry for your loss, Dragn.

((hugs))

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3795   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8845576
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 12:14 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2024

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8226   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8845658
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 2:34 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2024

Hi Dragn, just saw this. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's been a tough year for your family. sad

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1190   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8845668
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 4:16 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2024

So sorry you had to experience your dad's death in this way. Hopefully with your brother back now, you'll have another person to lean on.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1361   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8845679
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 6:18 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

Thank you everyone. We are all leaning on eachother. Mom has breakdowns and is feeling guilty for not being there the moment he died. It's about an hours drive and she had just gotten home when she got the call. She keeps saying she'll never forgive herself for not being there. A friend told her that his spirit went to the angels when he shed the three tears. I know she was trying to help but I don't think mom believes that. In any case mom is the one that needs the most support.

I met brother at home when he returned from his trip. He's doing ok. Then discovered my car had blown the gas line so I took mom's truck home and came back yesterday with the 3 kids (one is away on a trip for a few days). Took my car to the shop. My brothers jeep was already there getting work done. They got the jeep and car fixed up so that's all good.

Kids and I stayed for dinner then came home and watched the meteor shower.

Now I'm just doing laundry to make sure all the clothes for the funeral are ready. Still have to hem ds's dress pants. I need a full day just to sleep.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25830   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8845766
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 8:52 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

My dad was in hospice for pancreatic cancer and held on a lot longer than the nurses expected. He didn't die until my older sister and I went home to shower and then come back to watch over him that night. He died when I was in the shower. My mom and other sister stayed with him, but were asked to leave the room for a bit by the nurses- they could see he was in his last moments.

They told us later that some people (especially men) don't like to be watched while they die. By giving my dad a few moments to himself before passing, we gave him the privacy he needed to permit himself to stop breathing and let go.

Maybe it was that way with your dad too? Mine was barely conscious that day, but I think he still knew we were around. I think he wanted to protect his wife and girls from having to see him go.

Thinking of you guys. There's so much busy-ness around the funeral, in a way it's almost a blessing since you get to focus on that instead of the loss for a bit.

Keeping all of you guys in our prayers here.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1190   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8845779
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 1:16 AM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

MIgander is exactly right, glad she told you about this aspect of saying goodbye, so you can reassure your Mom. It is really true. My little sister sat up all night by my Mother after the Hospice Nurse left saying she would pass that night. My sister felt like Mom was sleeping okay at 4 am, and she snuck out of the room for a quick nap, only to come back and find Mom had stopped breathing. It's just how it happens so often.

Hugs to you and your dear family!

posts: 2150   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8845804
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 5:10 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

I firmly believe that the dying hold on for the sake of the loved ones around them. We sat vigil at my sister's bedside. The minute she was left alone briefly, she passed.

Your mom gave him a gift by allowing him a peaceful passage. smile

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1479   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8845829
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