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Off Topic :
Need all the mojo and prayers i can get please

Topic is Sleeping.
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:52 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2024

What causes the small intestine to collapse into itself


This can be caused by a variety of things. Most often is scar tissue from other abdominal surgery. Second can be a volvulous which seems to happen to people when they are in a weakened state. The third which may make sense is a blood clot to the mesenteric artery causing some gut paralysis or even death. Given that they suspect TIAs and small strokes would also go with this. Afib is a very common arrhythmia in folks as they get older. It causes the top chambers of the heart to beat in sync with the bottom or fully empty especially on the left atrium. Then when they pop back into normal rhythm it can push clots out into the body. In these cases they put patients on blood thinners to prevent this.
Feel free to pm me with more specific questions too.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20302   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8842651
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 6:36 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2024

Thank you Tush.

It's all just so frustrating.

I havent been back to see dad since Friday. The kids came back and we are all down for the count with a cough. Yes WE. I feel like total crap.

DS was given a week of antibiotics but it didn't do anything. Big D is getting better. Ds isn't coughing so bad he barfs. Little M has had some bad nights and mornings but is ok during the day. Dd seems to have the more constant cough but isn't getting sick to her stomach.

Needless to say we won't be going to visit my dad until we are all better.

Mom checks in daily with updates. Nothing really new. Dad is the same. I haven't heard any results of the heart tests doc said they were doing.

At least we can call to check in and FaceTime with dad. Not that he stays awake very long. You did say it's going to be a long recovery and the doc said the same so I guess him resting is best. I just wish I could be there more often. Hopefully a bed will open up at the large closer hospital. It will make it easier for my mom to visit him.

She was sick but is now OK.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8842804
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 6:45 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2024

I hope you and the kids are feeling better soon.

Continued prayers for your family and your dad.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3681   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8842806
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 4:04 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2024

Hello everyone. I apologize for not replying to individual messages or updating here. It's been a very trying time.

Last week my dad had a feeding tube surgically placed into his stomach. Over the weekend they began feeding him through it but what went in, came back up and out and again he aspirated. IV fluids resulted in a buildup in his lungs. The doctor felt that doing "more" would lead to a more difficult passing. The problem is he didn't explain that nothing they could do would result in a positive outcome. My mom and brother just got to the hospital to find dad in a single room with his feeding tube removed and a cranky nurse who said he was on "comfort care" as needed. Up until that point they had been discussing discharge after mom got trained on his new feeding tube.

When I joined them the next day I asked why he was now on palliative care. If my mom agreed to that. She had NO idea that comfort care meant palliative/hospice care. Took some doing but we finally had the head RN and administrator come in to help explain what was going on and to change the orders from "as needed" to a schedule since in the 7 hours we were there the nurse came in ONCE and never gave him meds. We saw the doctor the next day and he had the head of palliative care come talk to us, something that SHOULD have been done in the beginning in first place.

Anyways, as of this post dad is still "hanging on" iE he's lingering and I'm sorry but it's awful to watch!

I spent the night Monday to Tuesday with dad expecting him to pass quickly. He didnt. Tuesday evening after speaking with the kids, they chose to say their good byes and we all visited dad. The kids all told him how much they love him and held his hand.

Today I spent the day with mom, brother and dad. Dad had been reacting up until they started the comfort meds. Opening his eyes and speaking to us. Today he only opened his eyes when the nurses turned him.

I've seen death before but its just different when it's someone you love. It's made one thing clear for me. If I can arrange medically assisted suicide then I am doing it. There's NO way I want my kids to sit and watch me wither away, gasping for air with each labored breath. Ugh.

The palliative team leader said they have seen people "linger" for up to 2 weeks. I'm really praying this doesn't happen. Dad doesn't deserve to linger.

My other brother shouldn't have died period BUT at least he went quickly in his sleep.

Other than that things here are up and down. Some things I can talk about. Like how friends invited us over for a swim party on Saturday (dad crashed on sunday) the kids and I had an absolute blast. The husband is a volunteer fire fighter and got a call during our visit. When he came back he got Ds suited up in his outfit and ds was
Thrilled. He's seriously considering becoming a fore fighter now.

I haven't slept more than a few hours in days so I'm exhausted. I'm trying to think of what other things have happened.

Oh Tuesday when I sat with mom outside of the hospital so she could have a smoke I found a 4 leaf clover. Then yesterday while the kids rotated with their IC we looked for 4 leaf clovers in the park next door and found FOUR of them. Then DD found a FIVE leaf clover. I have them all being pressed so we can put them into resin pendants. Today my brother found a 4 leaf clover.

Also yesterday on our way home from the kids IC there was a clunk and my brake pedal went to the floor. Luckily we were almost home and the pressure came back. I knew the brakes needed to be done and had bought brake pads, just hadnt gotten to them. So DS and I began the process. If it wasn't for the caliper piston being stuck we would have had it done in no time. Turns out the inner brake pad had broken and the clunk was it bouncing around then dropping. The piston then was against the rotor. My brother came up and we had to take off the caliper and hammer the piston down. If you know you know. Can I say I HATE bleeding brakes lmao.

We got it all together and the brakes worked. So I was able to go see dad today.

Tomorrow I'll do the drivers side brake pads and I'll replace both calipers when I get paid next.

Oh I had noticed that for a while the steering was very tight when I turned to the right. Brother that died had installed a brand new steering column and it all passed safety so I wasn't sure what was up. I'm not familiar with electronic steering. Turns out the brake pad was loose enough to cause it to jam every time I turned right. So today it was like heaven. No more turning issues.

The back brakes are drums and I'm not touching those. Save that for the shop lol

I have my limits. Anything with springs is it.

And lastly our water pressure tank bladder broke so water pressure is limited. New tank is on its way so I also get to install that. Yay. Been there done that so no biggy lol. At least I don't have to worry about stbxwh freaking out on me while installing it.

Things I have learned:

Dying sucks. Obviously.

Always keep a can of WD 40 on hand.
All of my rachets SUCK!
Air tools are a life saver.

Lol

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8843901
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:58 AM on Friday, August 2nd, 2024

I’m so sorry that your father has reached his end of life. But I’m very happy that you all are there and spending time with him as he passes over. It is ugly and it is painful but it’s also a privilege. I’m sure he knows you are there and appreciate it.

Amazing job on the car. I was impressed when I changed my battery so I feel a little shamed .

All those four leaf clovers have to mean something. And I hope it means that better days are ahead.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6234   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8843905
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 1:16 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2024

I'm so sorry. Praying for a peaceful passing and comfort and strength for you and your family.

I agree, your mechanical skills are very impressive!!

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3681   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8843916
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:11 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2024

Thank you both.

I wasn't sure about bringing the kids but I let it be their decision and they all wanted to see him. Dd took a photo of her holding his hand and then all the kids wanted their photo taken holding his hand. Dd took mine as well and yesterday I took my mom and brothers. We will make a collage of them.

I need to get started on the brakes. I'm going to stay here unless I get a call that he's close to passing. It sounds awful to say but sitting there for 10 hours waiting for him to pass is a bit to much for me right now. 2 hour drive plus being tired plus idiot drivers isn't a good combination. Coming home last night a guy went to turn into a gas station as I was approaching. He didn't have enough time. Luckily between my slamming on the brakes and him turning back to his lane we avoided disaster. There were 4 accidents in my area with road closures yesterday too.

I'll get done what I need to then nap today.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8843976
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 4:04 PM on Friday, August 2nd, 2024

Your kids sound very sweet.

I hope you can get some rest today.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3681   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8844005
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 12:50 AM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2024

I feel so proud right now.

Got the drivers side brakes done. Was so easy.

Then got the tire tube installed on the lawn tractor. Battery is charging.

Then a friend came over and helped get the big tractor jacked up enough so I can remove/replace that tire.

It feels good to accomplish so much.

Brother says dad is the same.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8844067
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 4:35 AM on Sunday, August 4th, 2024

Sending ((virtual hugs))

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1803   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8844119
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:07 AM on Sunday, August 4th, 2024

Dragn, you are badass!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3980   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8844120
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:35 AM on Monday, August 5th, 2024

Well dad is still hanging on. Went to see him today and he was more awake than he's been since being put on palliative care.

He's withered away to nothing and it's torture to watch this happen to him. I'm unsure if it was just nerves or if it was intentional but he appeared to be trying to speak at times. His legs would twitch. There was twitching in his face and abdomen. His right hand was so swollen while his left is so thin. His skin so dry. Mom brings cream and rubs him down.

I told my dad how I did the brakes and fixed the tractor tire and he perked up.

We've told him it's ok to let go. That we will all be ok. That it's time for him to join his mother and son.

All the nurses keep saying how strong he is and we just reply with no, he's just stubborn lol.

Mom seems ok one minute then not ok the next. She isn't rating much. Keeps saying she's full. I'm a bit worried and will be making sure she gets a check up soon.

The kids are doing ok. Sad but hoping papa will join their uncle in heaven instead of lingering here.

I'm still not sleeping and injured my eye yesterday so I look rather bad. Hopefully tonight I'll sleep better.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8844167
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 3:42 AM on Monday, August 5th, 2024

(((DragnHeart))) I'm going to praay for you tonight and your family, love it how your story made your Papa perk up. He will remember that, I know. ❤️

posts: 2207   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8844168
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:59 AM on Monday, August 5th, 2024

Thank you for the prayers.

I feel so torn and so guilty. We tried so hard to get dad better. The doctors did so much and dad appeared to be doing so well. Then he wasn't and it was so quick that he went down hill.

Now though it's slow and painful to watch for all of us. I can't imagine he's enjoying this at all.

There's been so much sadness this year.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8844171
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:19 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2024

sad

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30517   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8844203
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:45 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2024

(((((And strength)))))
It's tough to watch but I'm glad they are keeping him comfortable.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20302   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8844211
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 12:07 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2024

Mom stayed home today to rest. Poor woman isn't eating much and definitely isn't sleeping. So today she stayed home. No calls from the hospital so I assume dad is the same.

I stayed home to tackle installing a new pressure water tank. The bladder in the tank blew and we had intermittent pressure. Brother bought me a new tank.

I knew going into it the chances of things going smoothly were slim but I had hope. Man, it did not go well. The pipe coming from the T to the rest of the house which goes from the well line into the tank broke. I kinda expected that because it got twisted from the last time my dad got stbxwh installed the previous tank. I had already patched a hole.

It wouldn't have been an issue except the only spare copper pipe I have is 3/4" and the pipes in the house are all 1/2". It's a holiday today so no stores open.

Tomorrow I am going to go pick up fittings to fit the 3/4 to the 1/2. Then slowly ill start replacing all the old pipes. I believe that's what my uncle had planned because there's a crap load of 3/4" pipes in the basement. I should just replace it all with PEX but I have the pipe so I might as well use it.

I really need something to go good. Brother just told me his vehicle isn't starting. Like come on. What did we do to deserve so much crap!?!

Pray that I can manage the plumbing issue with no further issues... smile

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8844224
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:28 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2024

Have no guilt dragon. You’ve done everything you could for your father. And sometimes they just rally and you think they’re gonna get better when they’re not. He has a life. He knows he is loved by his kids and his grandkids and he can’t really ask for more than that.

As for the other issues, plumbing is my nemesis, but I know you can do it. It’s so satisfying when you get it running properly with no leaks sending Mojo to your brothers car and you and your whole family..

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6234   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8844229
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 4:01 PM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2024

Hi Drgn,

Just checked in to see how you're doing. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. On top of everything else you've had to deal with these past years, this has got to take the cake.

It's lovely to hear how you, your mom and brother are banding together.

Hope you get your water pressure back on!!

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1190   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8845222
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 9:57 PM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2024

DS and I did it! We have water.

Had one hiccup with the T pipe being to short. When screwed into the pressure tank it wouldn't allow enough room to screw in the pressure switch. Headed back to the store and got an extension pipe and it's now all together and working.

Such a relief! No leaks either. I want a shower but I also want to go to bed lol

Mom and brother were at the hospital today. No change in dad. Mom told dad that we will all be ok. He can let go.

Brother has friends coming now to help with his vehicle so hopefully that gets fixed.

It's been a good day.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8845244
Topic is Sleeping.
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