SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I really want off this roller coaster.

Tuesday was DS grade 8 grad and my mother's birthday. With dad in the small hospital mom decided to come with brother M for the grad. It was a great surprise for ds.

M drove ds to the grad in his jeep with all his fancy lights on. DS looked amazing in his 3 PC suit. He won an award. For the first dance it was to be with your special adult and he danced with me. It was so fun.

Then the grads stayed for the rest of their dance and the rest of us came back here. M brought 2 small cakes. One for mom's birthday and the other for ds grad.

It was a happy fun day for all of us.

Then Wednesday happened and BAM! From happy to just shocked and sad.

Right now I'm just tired.

The 3 kids had their last school day today and they have really great report cards. I'm so proud of them.

I just want a couple months of no drama. Calm and peace. It's not to much to ask right lol

Hi Dragn,

Praying for your dad. I’m glad he’s in a more attentive hospital situation and getting such good care.

Sounds like your Wednesday was lovely and congrats on DS for finishing middle school! I hope he enjoys high school next year and all the opportunities it brings.

Sounds like your dad was in what we call rehab here t the other hospital. Basically like a nursing home for therapies after an injury or surgery to help get strength back and learn how to use whatever assisting devices he may need. So if that were the case they definitely do not pay nearly as close attention as they would if he were I'm a true inpatient setting. That said aspiration pneumonia happens more than you would suspect. Especially after surgery with pain meds the gut slows down to a crawl, things back up and whamo blame.
Glad he is needing less pressor support. Hopefully the antibiotics will do their magic and he will be able to get off the vent in the next day or 2.

Don't be surprised if he is completely out of his mind confused when they do let him fully wake up. Between the events and being in ICU and getting sedation medication to make being on the vent tolerable his brain isn't going to know where he is, if it's day or night, or what happened to him. It may take weeks for that to improve too. Making sure he reestablishes a sleep cycle is key. If they aren't already ask the ICU nurses to keep him room dark and quiet overnights as much as possible.

ICU nurses are amazing if I say so myself but that's also where I spent the first 12 years of my career.

Continued prayers and MOJO and strength your way.

Tush, the small hospital is just a small hospital. They don't have an ICU, that's why dad was transfered by Orange aftet he aspirated. He was waiting for a bed at the local larger hospital to have ankle sugery. I just hate the place. That's where my grandmother died. She went in because of a medication reaction. Doc wanted to keep her the night. She was alert, sitting up telling us to go home because she was fine. Then they called at 5am and when we got there her IV was on the table beside her not hung up. We know they didn't check her blood sugar all night because she would bruise and there were no bruises. They also dismissed me when I brought in one of elderly patients from the group home. I had to raise hell to get her treatment. I have other stories but I won't.

Mom got an update. CT found an obstruction in dads small intestine. It's a small blockage. Doc was consulting with surgeon today. Dad is still improving and if he continues to they will start to wean him from sedation tomorrow. They will restrain him for that which they already told us, to stop him from pulling lines/tubes out.

We all agreed that if for any reason his heart stops there's to be no intervention. That said the doc said he's not critical and is improving. So it's a guarded optimism. As far as I know he hasn't developed any infection from the aspiration. They immediately put him on antibiotics and yesterday he was breathing on his own with the vent assisting.

There's still "stuff" coming out of his GI tube. It's not blood, doc said a mix of bile, bowel contents and slophing of cells from the digestive tract. He won't be eating steak and potatoes any time soon.

So sorry you are going through this. Sending ((virtual hugs))

I'm getting used to "the next thing". It's always something.

Had DS into the doc today because of a cough that just won't go away and has gotten progressively worse. He's now got antibiotics. Poor kid can't sleep.

Mom has come down with a cold so she's been asked not to visit the ICU. They are giving dad meds to try to unblock his intestine. If that doesn't work then it's surgery. He's still doing ok.

So much has happened and is happening that I just can't share, which totally sucks. Some things are moving along nicely while other things are at a stand still.

Overall the kids and I are doing ok.

Mom got a call from the surgeon. He's leaning towards the "blockage" as swelling from injury to the intestine. He said the mass on the CT looks like bruising.

The plan right now is to wait 24 hours, get x rays/scans and see if the mass resolves itself. It wasn't a full blockage, they aren't getting anything much from the GI tube, dad continues to get better and they don't want to put him through surgery if they don't have to.

Makes sense.

So its a day by day wait and see thing.

Mom is still not feeling well so she's going to stay home. M might go see him. I'll go this week. Tomorrow is Canada Day and I promised the kids we'd go to the events in town (face painting, fireworks), I've got an eye doc appointment and then all of us have IC so a busy week. I did find a direct route from my place to the hospital. Still takes about 2 hours.

M is insistent that the kids don't see dad like this. I'm sorta torn. I got to be with realitives when they were close to passing when I was very young. And DS wants to visit with his grandpa while dd hates hospitals and doesn't want to go so I understand that.

What is everyone's opinion on that here?

I'd give it a other 48 hours. If the blockage resolves which they often do, and they can get him off the vent it won't be nearly as traumatic for them.
I also would let each kiss decide meaning if one doesn't want to go don't make them. They've dealt with enough trauma.
The nurses will let you know if it's dire and them to say goodbyes so if no one is saying that I'd encourage you to wait a bit.

Thank you Tushnurse.

I'm fine allowing them to each chose for themselves and then visit in the ICU only if it becomes a say your goodbyes thing.

Otherwise I'm fine to wait until he's in the other ward.

There's a lineup of people wanting to be with dad but it's family only and only 2 of us at a time.

I was involved in a youth program that took us to a trauma centre, the biggest one in Ontario. We saw people in critical condition so it's not new to me. That said, it's just different and a shock to see someone you love like that. It sure as shit isn't like the movies.

I just don't want the kids to resent me for not allowing them to be there I'd they want to. My mom had my brother cremated before I could see him and thats been hard for me.

Continued prayers for you and your family.

Hi, Dragn, just wanted to say I wish I could give you a big hug.

You are such a courageous fighter, I don't think you see it, but we do.

I pray for healing for your dad, and I hope your children have a great summer.

Keep us posted.

Hey all, I'm 100% convinced the prayers and positive mojo is making a difference. Surgeon says dad's bowels are clearing up and he's continuing to improve. Yay!

The kids and I celebrated Canada Day yesterday. Picnic, swimming, zip line, hanging with friends, making new ones lol. And amazing fireworks. It was just what we needed. Of course we are all wiped out today. If I didnt have an appointment this afternoon I'd still be in bed 😴

Such good news about your dad. Prayers for continued healing.

Sounds like you had a great day with the kids!!

Amazing news!

Dad is off the vent and awake. He's starting speech and swallowing therapy. They plan to move him out of the ICU soon.

What a relief! Mom is better. I'm going to coordinate with my brother to get her down to the hospital for visits.

Praying he keeps on this path.

Woohoo!!!!
That's fantastic news. Make sure they order PT/OT to start ASAP. Gotta get him up and moving asuxh as possible with that ankle.

I'll inquire about that. Thanks tush. I don't known if they have cast his ankle yet or are putting a walking cast on it. Heck he was supposed to get pins put in so I have no idea if they plan to do that now.

Last I saw him his ankle was wrapped up. His foot was bruised from what I could see exposed.

I just hope his bowels start to work fully and he's able to eat. I believe he still has a GI tube.

Just being off the vent and awake is a huge accomplishment.

Oh Dragn!!! Whew, your Dad has turned a corner. A huge corner. Now the kids can go and see him, right? Great work by the nurses and team there. Continued prayers here for your family!

Thank you for the continued prayers. I'm sure they are helping.

Now the kids can go and see him, right?

I'd prefer dad was out of the ICU before they see him. Mom said there's talk of dad being sent back to the small hospital to continue his therapy. I don't like that idea at all. I'll agree to him going to the hospital I had the kids in. It's not that far and was where he was waiting to go in the first place.

Also the kids have a week long camping trip next week.

I don't want them to miss out on that. With dad improving I don't see why a visit couldn't wait until they get back. Hopefully he will be out of the ICU by the time they get back.

I wanted to make this summer better than last year so we have scheduled a lot of activities this time. This month is pretty busy.

On one hand I think it's good to have things to do but I'm already so tired and worn out it's hard not to just want to sleep lol

I’m not really trying to be a decent or, and of course you know your kids better than anyone.

But if they’re going to be gone for a little bit of time on a camping trip, if I understand correctly,
and your dad is off the vent, I would think that you might want to just put it to them… Before you go on your trip would you like to see your grandpa?

I’m sure that my recent experience with extremely quick "turns for the worse" is behind my question. But if he is looking better and not all hooked up to many kind of tubes, and you don’t think it would be upsetting to them, I think I might, at least entertain the thought of them going on in now, because God forbid that something happens and he takes a turn for the worse, they would be happy to have seen him before that time.

Just trying to view the situation from both sides.

I know you’ll make the right choice.

What's right I completely understand what you mean.

There's always a chance dad could go backwards.

DS is the only one who would want to see grandpa and he's currently sick so he wouldn't be permitted into the ICU.

The kids have known since my dad initially went into kidney failure and then got his cancer diagnosis, that his time with us could be limited.

That's why when M called me about K passing it was such a shock. We all expected it was my dad that had passed.

DD said she wanted to remember grandpa they way he was when we last saw him at home. The twins said the same

It's M who is taking them camping. They aren't so far away that if something happens they can't make it back. I'd prefer they keep thr plans we've made and try to enjoy themselves.

Ultimately if something happens and they want to come to the hospital they are able to.