SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I never thought I’d see the day. My xwh and ow have broken up 6 years after blowing up my family.

Xwh rang me to say they broke up in March but he has a new partner now (more on this in a mo). Ow has came home and found them in bed and has attacked new gf. Police are involved. Ow works for ambulance service and was wearing uniform when attacking new partner. So chances are she will lose her job. She was also screaming she’s going to destroy xwh. When she came into my life while I was pregnant she was vile. She also attacked xwh 6 years ago but he told my solicitors it was an isolated incident

Turns out xwh new partner is a girl he works with. The serial cheat has followed his usual script and cheated on ow with this new one which was what happened when he cheated on me. He was Ow boss and he’s now this one’s boss. He is playing the victim and saying ow has been cheating on him and they haven’t been right for 2 years. Claims ow got him arrested in January claiming he was hitting her. It’s all so messy and toxic. People would say to me you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors (their social media displayed a happy relationship according to others).

So he blew up his family unit for zero. I’m in a much better place but all of this has dragged me backwards in my healing. But it is nice to see karma coming along! He’s never bothered with my children since I divorced him. He’s now trying to be my best friend and I need to put that boundary up straight away he thinks we can bond as I’ve always stated what a nutter ow is. I’ll never forgive him for what he did.

He should know by now not to call you.

And you should not answer his calls.

Ahh so validating! I was talking to my neighbour about how WH left me and she said the same thing happened to her 25 years ago. And she was so heartbroken about it, until he broke up with the OW, and the next and the next…

These OW are getting the SAME MEN. They don’t transform into loyal loving good people. It’s not us, it’s them. They are the problem.

That is particularly crazy. Wow. Glad you are FREE of those persistent train wrecks.
Keep your shields up and just make more popcorn.

Oh wow!! Thank you for the karma bus update!! Wow!! I love hearing about this whole disaster!! 😂😂😂.

I am sorry he blew up his family for nothing.

The sound of karma is very close to ha ha ha. (Saw something similar in a tshirt)

I’m in a much better place but all of this has dragged me backwards in my healing.

When you stay in contact with a toxic ex, you are subject to the emotional roller coaster. That is why you've reverted in your healing. Go no contact with him and block his number. If you can't because of the kids (although you say he's not in contact with them, so I'm unsure of that situation), then you still should not take voice calls from him. You should tell him that you will only accept emails about the kids, and texts about the kids if the situation is urgent. Tell him that any voicemail messages will be erased without being listened to, and calls will not be accepted. This should all be old news to him. Since it isn't, you need to institute no contact now. You should also have him blocked on social media, etc.

So he blew up his family unit for zero.

He blew it up for his own selfish, short-term wants. That was always the case, even when he was with the OW. It is nice that she got a taste of her own medicine, sure. It isn't nice that he keeps getting new girl after new girl. "Karma" for him has not happened and would not be pretty. I don't believe in karma, though. Life isn't fair. We each just have to focus on being the best people we can be and forming positive bonds with the good people in our lives.

Keep on moving on in the right direction.

I'm not surprised.

There is the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater." I am sure that they are exceptions, but they are exceptions.

I’ll never forgive him for what he did.

This is still 100% correct.

Wow, this is a different brand of crazy! You are so lucky to be out of that mess. It would be nice, when we are rock bottom, if we were able to see into the future, to a time where our life is back on track whilst XWH’s keeps blowing up. It’s the supreme vindication and we didn’t have to lift a finger: they did it all on their own

Incidentally, my XWH has also just split up from his second wife. They have a kid together so this is the second family he’s breaking up. In the last two weeks, he has invited me to go to a concert with him and to his mum’s birthday party. I haven’t spoken with MIL in six years

Lol I would be tempted to say something to the effect of "Looks like nothing has changed" and then block for good

Karma is good. He has now exposed his true self to yet another person, and she is hurt just like she hurt you and your family. Don’t let it get you down. This is most likely a scenario that will play out again and again.

I'm in a much better place but all of this has dragged me backwards in my healing

Anytime I got some sort of train wreck news of my past, I always took it as a reminder to keep my focus straight ahead. Please do not let his drama hamper you. Take this latest news as validation that YOU are on the right path (i.e., away from him). It should be positive news for you, not negative.

Ditto what some of the others have stated regarding contact with your ex. Don't be his shoulder. If he rings you up, let it go to VM. Do not listen or engage.

Not your circus anymore!

beep beep

Hello karma. Nice to meet you.

is he blowing up your phone? This is all his glory. Not yours, let him live in the shitstorm he built (again) completely by himself. Some people are SLOW learners. You think he learn something from his previous cheating. Jeez.

Yesterday the restaurant that my ex and his whore frequented burned to the ground. While sorry for the owners and staff. (No one was injured) I kinda like the symbolism.

Thanks for all your lovely messages. After I posted this I really struggled with all my emotions. It wasn’t as bad as DDay but I felt so angry and sad. I thought when this day would come (I always believed once a cheater always a cheater) I’d feel elated. I just felt so sorry for my children. He has been absent for nearly 7 years. They’ve had to grow up without their dad. They are very lucky they have me and my wonderful dad but I know my dd has always felt sad about it. He treated them terribly and let them down constantly.
He is now blowing up my dd’s phone, apologising and saying he wants to make up for lost time. I feel like he left our lives, had a new life and the kids didn’t matter and now that relationship has blown up he’s bored and has decided to be a parent again after I’ve done all the hard work bringing up a newborn and a heartbroken 5 year old. I’m going to be left picking up the pieces again when this new affair relationship becomes his life again.

You are there to protect your kids.

Don’t feel sorry he left — your children are better off with one good parent than one good parent and one lousy parent. Think of all the chaos your kids didn’t have to face each day b/c he was absent.

He’s not entitled to waltz back into their lives just b/c he’s now available.

Protect your kids. That’s your first priority here.

Your kids are not dolls that he can play with, forget about, play with, and discard again.

Time for a serious talk with your daughter (if you haven't already) about maintaining boundaries and managing her interactions with your ex.

Brokenheart29,

I haven't been on this site in a long time, but something made me feel like checking in this morning. I'm so happy to hear your Karma came, even if it set you back in your healing time. Mine hasn't come yet, but I also believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mantra. Like your ex, mine has the public persona of rainbows and unicorns. She married POSOM, and they appear to have a Brady Bunch life with his 2 sons and my 2 daughters. My daughters even seem to like the a-hole. People tell me the same thing - I don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

I'm really glad your Karma arrived, and I'm glad to hear you have done an amazing job raising your children. Keep up the good work!

I might have a different spin in regards to the kids. I was married before and had 3 kids ( I am almost 25 years with 2nd marriage, I am here on SI because of him, anyways....)

I went with that my kids really needed to see what an butt head their father was. They had to see and experience it. Sounds harsh but I always prepared them and was there when they needed to vent. This did a few things. They decided he was not a great person through their experience, of course he tried to tell himself and them that I brainwashed them but that failed miserably. It just backfired in his face. I think we protect our kids too much at times. They needed to see him as who he is and I needed to be there to talk them through it. I did my best never to talk bad about him, I would be lying to myself if they did not see my annoyance with him and or my demeanor.

Anyways, I just wanted to share some thoughts on it. I told me kids I never wanted them to be raised with their parents divorced. My hope was to make sure they did not idealize an idea of someone. I did not want their world to crash when they became adults when they found out something they did not know about. I did not want to battle what the truth really was when they became adults and discovered things about their Dad. I just allowed them to decided how they think and feel about him.