If WW tells the hair stylist that you are an emotional wreck, then you need to (in my opinion) keep everything about you secret. She is the wreck. She just kissed her entire past goodbye.
Sorry for the confusion. She was talking about herself!
So nothing about what she did to you. Nothing about what she did to her sons. Her complaint was about the impact that the consequences of her actions have had on her. Life is so unfair. She has clearly had an empathy bypass, to say the least. This is why a communications bypass a.k.a. no contact is definitely your best option.
I actually do think she is suffering. Nothing about what she did to me (based on the way she discarded me she feels nothing in that regard), almost exclusively about our sons.
It sounds like she created a fantasy masterplan in which she could run off with another man but still be a loved and cherished member of the family she dumped, with a permanent open door to show up and be welcomed on national holidays, birthdays, and at Christmas, to receive praise, love, gratitude, and appreciation, because everyone loves an abuser, and that's how reality works. Or not. As the case may be.
Leaving the deluded fantasies of a cake-eating narcissist to one side, I have a suggestion for you and the boys that might help counterbalance the blues that are dogging you. There are public holidays coming up, amongst them Thanksgiving and Christmas, so how about you and your sons start thinking about maybe all going away together to have some fun breaks? Fishing weekends, a trip to a city you guys have never been to, a Christmas seeing the Northern Lights, or Christmas on the beach in Australia, or...Well, you guys have a better idea of the stuff that you might like.
What I am saying is get together and start talking about some group trips that the three of you can take, particularly on the important public holidays, so that all three of you can have fun making new memories, and bonding. Start thinking about where you guys might enjoy going, what you want to do, and so on. Your wife may have handed out lemons, but if you guys use your new freedom to have a road trip, go camping in Yosemite, spend Christmas in New York, or on the beach in Hawaii, or whatever you choose to do, then you are making lemonade, and having a damn sight more fun than her. The best revenge is living well, so start planning some fun activities for you and the boys. And get the boys involved; three heads are better than one.
While you do that, rest assured there there is a whole team of people here rooting for you and your sons. It may feel like you are staggering around in the aftermath of an air-strike right now, but ten years from now, you may be grateful that your wife identified herself as 'the weakest link', because it liberated you and your sons to find someone and something better that you never would have found if she had stayed. The ride is not over, life goes on, and the world has much left to offer you and your sons. Start making plans to explore that, and you may start feeling sorry for your wife missing out on what you guys are enjoying.
[This message edited by M1965 at 12:27 AM, Thursday, August 25th]