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Newest Member: PowerWithin

New Beginnings :
Bingo, you gotta be kiddin' me...

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 Bingo (original poster member #72835) posted at 7:12 PM on Monday, May 9th, 2022

I am so messed up! Every time I meet someone, I come up with such insane reasons why it wouldn't work. This latest reason just really floored me.

I met a guy in my neighborhood and he seemed nice enough. We talked a few times and I could tell he was interested in me. That's normally a red flag for me. If someone shows an interest, I usually feel insulted. I guess that's my stupid lizard brain trying to protect me from getting hurt. Whatever.....but that didn't happen with this guy so I'm thinkin' hmmmmm...

Well, well, well, the newest red flag that I've come up with is..are you ready for this?....HE WEARS FLIPFLOPS!!! Yep, I just couldn't take him seriously because he wears flipflops. Well, this made me laugh out loud. I'm thinkin' Bingo, you have got to be kiddin'. We live in south Florida..everybody wears flipflops! No, no,...I just can't handle the flipflops....

Will I always be this way? It's been 2 years since my divorce and I'm perfectly content to be alone. And I do find it hilarious sometimes...the stupid excuses I can come up with!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who's this messed up! Has anyone else experienced insane excuses when someone's showing an interest?

posts: 123   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2020   ·   location: Indiana
id 8734397
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funnelcakes ( member #45249) posted at 1:14 AM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2022

You deserve to have high standards! You can’t claim what you don’t name!

But, if you’re grasping for new excuses, it could be a sign to slow your roll and not pursue romance for a while.

You get to be picky! Are you being picky about qualities and morals? Awesome. If it’s about hobbies or preferences? Get curious about why.

There are some superficial things about my gentleman caller I would not have picked off the shelf. I’m not into skateboarding! He’s younger than me! But, dating after divorce isn’t Build-a-Bear workshop. You’re at the goodwill looking for something that’s charmingly vintage instead of smelly and broken.

d-day in August of 2014, when I was SAHM 34 weeks pregnant with kid #3
A year of incontinent alcoholic cheater word salad and shitweasely blameshifting during R/S
I got a job and busted a move with three kids to a 1BR apt
D final 4/27/17.

posts: 1168   ·   registered: Oct. 15th, 2014
id 8734455
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papoula ( member #39079) posted at 10:26 PM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2022

I can relate so much to this.

I'm still in the very early stages of my separation, just got the keys of my new place but I look at men and find no one interesting. I see things that I dislike in pretty much every man I come across lol.

I think the person I am now would NEVER get involved with my WH.

We'll see after a while if things change.

Me: BS 41 years oldHim: WH 44 years old1st DDay 2013 and several others after that Married 10 yearsMoving forward with separation and divorce

posts: 143   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8734583
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 11:01 PM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2022

Elaine from Seinfeld always found odd reasons to break up with her boyfriends. So did Jerry & George (same show).

One girl liked a Dockers (pants) commercial and Jerry didn’t.

One guy was too nice.

One girl was too much like Jerry and he was dating himself.

One girl was pretentious.

I think you might not be ready to date so you find "reasons". But honestly if the guy had ugly feet I might have an issue with flip flops too lol 😂

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 11901   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8734593
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 Bingo (original poster member #72835) posted at 11:40 PM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2022

Yeah, I'm taking this as a signal that I'm not ready to date! It could be permanent but since I enjoy being alone...whatever!

But, yeah, ugly feet in flipflops... barf

posts: 123   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2020   ·   location: Indiana
id 8734766
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ADryHeat ( member #46484) posted at 6:35 AM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

Without even looking I knew you weren’t in AZ grin

I agree with the assessment you may just not be ready. And that’s ok.

Me: BS
Married 11 years, 2 young kids
DDay 11/3/14, Discovered he was still a fuckwit: 7/10/15
DIVORCED 11/12/2015
"Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted."

posts: 2394   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2015   ·   location: AZ
id 8734983
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straightup ( member #78778) posted at 9:53 AM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

I wear flip flops, but in Australia we call them thongs. Now, if I told an American lady I wore thongs, I think she might pass. I’m also a solicitor, which in Australia means attorney, and I believe in the US it means a salesperson of sorts. Funny world.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
Mother Teresa

posts: 133   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2021   ·   location: Australia
id 8734989
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 5:04 PM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

Straightup - thongd in the US is an underwear style.

Also solicitor could also be a prostitute. It’s an older term - not used much any more.

Funny how things can get misconstrued lol

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 11901   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8735147
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RealityBlows ( member #41108) posted at 6:23 AM on Saturday, May 14th, 2022

Flip Flops…sounds like a loser.

Flip Flops are better than Birkenstocks, especially Birkenstocks with socks.

How was his pedi-care. Ingrowns, foot fungi, hairy Hobit toes?

Were they Salvatore Ferragamo flip-flops?

Stick with men who wear:

Espadrilles: To or From le plage on the Cote d’azur, maybe Italy only..

Huraches: Outdoor music festival on the lawn..Preferably Garibaldi Square listening to Mariachis

Crocodile Fisherman sandals from Bragano.. they dress up well for casual night.

[This message edited by RealityBlows at 6:23 AM, Saturday, May 14th]

posts: 891   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2013
id 8735278
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 Bingo (original poster member #72835) posted at 8:01 PM on Saturday, May 14th, 2022

So very funny..... laugh

posts: 123   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2020   ·   location: Indiana
id 8735338
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pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 5:09 AM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

Some of the flops from REI or designer can be expensive. Fancy flip flops very popular in San Diego area. Says maybe an active life likes the outdoors.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2325   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8735394
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Solarchick ( new member #80222) posted at 1:42 AM on Wednesday, May 18th, 2022

My first ex-H work socks with his Birkenstocks. My last ex-H wore the dorkiest half-shoe/half-sandals in the world. I understand your conundrum, Bingo. Footwear is a big consideration for me!

The second ex-H was naked most of the time having sex with other women, so I didn't have any concerns about his footwear. He had bigger problems. laugh

posts: 11   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Hilton Head, SC
id 8735790
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 10:38 PM on Wednesday, May 18th, 2022

I so do this too - but not just with potential romantic interests. One time I was out with my mom and this guy walked by. He just... he was THAT guy. You could totally tell just lookin at him. I commented something under my breath about how I didn't like that dude and my mom gave me some (affectionate) shit about "being nice". Later when I was talking to my best friend about it and I described the guy (not even what I said) - she immediately said "Ew, what a douche" laugh

And flipflops are in the heavy maybe column for me - depends entirely on how gorillaesque the feet are!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3445   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8735922
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 12:05 AM on Thursday, May 19th, 2022

Me I do this, I am very picky and it is a pain laugh

fBS/fWS(me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 25 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8217   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8735930
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 3:52 AM on Thursday, May 19th, 2022

I love my birks. With socks. Ya ya I know it looks like hell but it feels awesome.

Personally flip flops means they are laid back and relaxed… not a bad thing.

Wear an undershirt tank as a shirt, that’s a no go….

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1947   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8735956
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