Leaving all the stuff behind is a bigger ‘F U’ than taking all the stuff because you are reducing their value to zero. You don’t need to even take all your clothes, have ties or cuff links she gifted you? Ugly suit you don’t like? Undies and socks that have had their day? leave them behind.
If you like furniture because of a function you liked (the desk for example) take a pic and look for that feature in a new item. The problem, aside from cost of moving/shipping, is your new place, that might be perfect for you, might not have the area to make the old furniture work and they might be more cumbersome than anything.
Books and tools, take those. Clothes you wear and like, take those. Things no readily available like vinyl (if you collect), art, handmade items, signed things etc would be next on the list. No need to pack toiletries like shampoo and soaps so don’t bulk yourself up with those. Same with linens (bedsheets, towels etc), leave those. Do you cook and love to make a certain dish? Pack the utensils needed for that, leave the rest.
New start, new life, new beginnings, new stuff. You might find a fair bit of stuff you want is out of familiarity, not because it’s something you want or need or even like.
If you still want to not leave everything there is goodwill too, many people struggling, more so now, a well looked after couch or desk or chairs or plate set will be valued by those who need it. Plenty of charities around you can call to pickup the furniture for goodwill. You can always time it the day you plan on leaving you can get them in the morning then leave when they have finished.
Also think the day you leave is a day WW doesn’t know or expect. You leaving without her knowing or having been involved christens the first day of your new start without her, you moving onwards being your own man. You also don’t want to face/hear the farewell “hope we stay in touch, hope we can be friends, it wasn’t an affair” speech that will happen if she knows the day you leave. Blindside, have her return to the house with the stuff (or not) and you just never come back, she will call to check after 24hrs but you’ve blocked her. More of a ‘F U’ than taking the stuff.
As for self help, like you I got to a point of wanting more healing (self help) books and less on those focused purely on betrayal and infidelity. Are you an app guy? Check out these apps and see if any of these affirmation/self-love/mental health helper apps are your cup of tea:
> Kwippy (sorry I think it's now inactive, used to be something I used to make me laugh and get my mind off negative thoughts)
> I Am
If you are an app person I also have found these next apps to help me break the habit of wanting my WH around, thinking about him, pain shopping etc:
> RescueTime (blocking distractions via goal setting)
> Forest (if you are trying to stop pain shopping on your phone)
> Productive Habit Tracker (visual way to motivate yourself to keep going, I have added things like 'don't look at WH socials' on mine as one of my 'moving in the right direction' habits i'm trying to create)
If you want some book recommendations.
> The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
> Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop (warning, tough love approach)
> The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
> Choose Yourself by James Altucher
[This message edited by LostInHisFog at 10:09 PM, July 24th (Saturday)]