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Divorce/Separation :
Fireworks show grand finale

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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 2:48 AM on Wednesday, July 7th, 2021

Duplicate

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 8:49 PM, July 6th (Tuesday)]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8672980
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Phoenix1 ( Moderator #38928) posted at 7:19 AM on Wednesday, July 7th, 2021

Stay strong, Bleep!

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 8995   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8673024
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 7:19 PM on Saturday, July 10th, 2021

Deleted for anonymity.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 3:18 PM, July 27th (Tuesday)]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8674322
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 8:54 PM on Saturday, July 10th, 2021

Uhhhh - he’s a liar. And not a good one.

Stop believing 95% of what he says. He’s nuts!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10736   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8674336
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 2:55 AM on Sunday, July 11th, 2021

Uhhhh - he’s a liar. And not a good one.

Stop believing 95% of what he says. He’s nuts!

This made me laugh out loud. Mmm hmm.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8674398
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 3:49 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

Yeah, Bleep... you need to detach even further.

You are making logical assumptions, like if the kids need to quarantine... that they shouldn't be going to church with him during his parenting time. I mean, that's how normal people think.

But, honestly, that's not your monkey, not your circus.

Being VERY LITERAL: He can intentionally infect others with COVID-19 during his parenting time using your children as the disease-spreading vectors.

Me: BH, age 48
Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)
D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5120   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8674785
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 9:02 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

: He can intentionally infect others with COVID-19 during his parenting time using your children as the disease-spreading vectors

Bingo. This is exactly what he did in January. And this is precisely how I got Covid-19, and missed 14 days of work at my new job. (My symptoms were relatively minor, but it was a very scary time. The symptoms were bizarre and like nothing I've ever experienced in my life). He had Covid-19, and had been with the kids for a week. He refused to keep the kids for the additional 7 days of quarantine. He sent them to me and I got Covid (as they were ALL positive). I have it all in writing. If it didn't happen directly to me, I would never believe a person was this...depraved.

Normally I would have just responded, "no." But this was an example of something I wanted to get in writing in case it came up in court. Those are the only times I don't appear completely detached. Sometimes I need to address things right then and there in writing, because there is so much crap with him, I can't keep everything straight.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 3:04 PM, July 12th (Monday)]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8674914
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 11:05 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

If it didn't happen directly to me, I would never believe a person was this...depraved.

I understand, fully.

If I wrote up my divorce as a play or as a novel, no one would find it "believable."

Sometimes I need to address things right then and there in writing, because there is so much crap with him, I can't keep everything straight

Yep. Been there, done that.

The good news, I hope, is that if you have all had COVID before... that you don't like have it again and so he's literally creating drama for the sake of creating drama (I can't imagine anyone who would do that).

Me: BH, age 48
Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)
D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5120   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8674959
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 10:57 PM on Thursday, July 15th, 2021

You guys!!! I'm feeling confident! I just received some records, along with proper certification, related to my divorce case. Up until now, it's been his word against mine. He has a legal document that I signed that stacks the cards strongly against me. It was signed shortly after D-Day and our DV incident, during the most severe trauma of my life. We are essentially having two divorce trials, the first one being to overturn said "agreement."

Well, these records are from that period of time, and document, in writing, by an independent professional, how fearful I was and what a psychological basket case I was. Everything I stated in deposition is confirmed by these records. (With the exception of one or two minor things that were trauma induced memory lapses) This, along with other records that are on their way, and actual recordings that we already possess, will expose STBX as the abusive f**k that he is.

This court delay has proved very beneficial. I don't see how STBX's attorney will be able to rebut what I have. Ultimately it is up to the judge, but like I said, my case is very strong. For the first time in these four years since we separated, I am looking forward to trial. Bring it.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8675894
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 3:50 AM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

Things seem to be going your way lately. Good for you!!!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10736   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8675978
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 4:43 AM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

Great update!

Lea
Me: BW
Married 34 years, 3 DS
DDay #1: March 26, 2018, DDay #2 8/26/2019
Filed for D: 11/16/2020
D Final: 2/25/2021

posts: 669   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8675981
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:49 AM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

YES! Great news!

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4240   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8675982
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 4:06 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I hope this works out for you!!

I would also hope all of the other crap that he is pulling (like trying to go after your lawyer) would help the judge see what a piece of shit that he is.

Me: BH, age 48
Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)
D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5120   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8676111
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 4:44 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I would also hope all of the other crap that he is pulling (like trying to go after your lawyer) would help the judge see what a piece of shit that he is.

Barcher, I've been thinking the same. My judge actually is familiar with my attorney from back when she was a prosecutor. And has judged in her favor on occasion based solely on her knowledge of my attorney's ethics. My lawyer is in her 40s and has never had a Bar complaint until my stbx. I think that says a lot. That, coupled with stbx's abuse, exposed in his own words...

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8676128
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 9:34 PM on Tuesday, July 27th, 2021

Today was a big day. First off, mediation went nowhere. Not a surprise. And I mean absolutely nowhere. I'm not allowed to discuss what happened, but let's just say even seasoned veterans involved were surprised and confused and apologetic even. These people don't know stbx the way I do.

However, just before mediation, my lawyer received word that her bar complaint was dismissed. These things usually take months to resolve. Stbx's last letter to them read like the rantings of a lunatic. I believe they saw right through that and dismissed every charge, and there were many.

Secondly, the judge ruled on another small issue in stbx's favor. What stbx does not know yet, is that this small ruling will ultimately reveal that he lied about the complaint it refers to. Which is why we didn't fight too hard on it 😁😎. And I mean flat out lied. I'm actually glad it was ruled the way it was. Keep exposing the cluster B!!

Thirdly, an hour into mediation, we received a ruling from the judge granting one of our motions pertaining to trial next week. It's a big one. I can't go into detail, but it will give me an additional angle to win my case.

I received some hard numbers from my accountant about what I stand to owe if I lose, and what I stand to get if I win. The numbers for the former are quite intimidating, but needed to be discussed. I felt nauseous and wanted to throw up. I have not been swayed from my course. What I stand to gain, financially, is significant. But the thing is, this has never been about the money for me. I'm a simple girl and I live a simple life and I like simple things. My life will be no more joyous than it is either way. I am still me, and he is still a train wreck of a human being who nobody likes. I saw his financials and he goes out to eat just about every day, sometimes two meals a day. I picture him sitting there either alone (not by choice, he HATES being alone), or with Craigslist strangers. Maybe once a week is with his poor girlfriend.

Anyway, I feel peaceful and that I am still exactly where I am supposed to be. My lawyer and her assistant feel the same way. Most of the work for me has been done (my lawyers will be working their asses off this week). I plan to spend time with my kids, and then take some quiet time for myself to just be peaceful and clear my head and settle in with the truth, and get ready to tell it.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 3:37 PM, July 27th (Tuesday)]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8678981
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Ratpicker ( member #57986) posted at 3:14 AM on Wednesday, July 28th, 2021

Bleep! Sounds like you now have all the pieces to the puzzle - it is just gonna take the time for the judicial process to work out.

You got this!

Road of life is paved with dead squirrels who couldn't make a decision.

posts: 573   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2017   ·   location: moved on from Georgia
id 8679101
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 9:07 AM on Wednesday, July 28th, 2021

We are all here rooting for you!!!!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10736   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8679141
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 12:32 PM on Wednesday, July 28th, 2021

I wish a contingent of SIers could show up to the courtroom with you next week wearing FTG t-shirts and give him death glares during the proceedings... Sigh. That's what I'll be doing in my head anyways.

Hang in there bleep. I'm rooting for you bigtime!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3181   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8679158
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 9:28 PM on Friday, July 30th, 2021

STBX's lawyer has taken ill. Trial next week has been continued. Again. Court dates are already into next year.

We (lawyer and I) were ready. We are certainly deflated. Trusting that the bigger reason this happened will reveal itself, down the line.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4372   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8679969
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 9:43 PM on Friday, July 30th, 2021

Sorry for the delay, but it gives your lawyers more time to build the case lock tight.

Hang in there.

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4240   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8679976
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