All that’s left is the signing on the dotted line.
Pretty much, not sure why it takes the attorneys so long to reduce the deal to writing. Honestly, I could write it myself…I’ve seen lots of divorce decrees, it’s not rocket science for a simple situation like mine (not a lot of assets, not much property, no shared business, not self employed, similar incomes, similar retirement plan amounts, 2 cars, I don’t want a lot out of the house (I’ve already purchased stuff from craigslist and facebook marketplace), I’m not really worried about getting my fair share I have no interest in sticking it to her, I just want out)
Crap – I forgot to ask my attorney about the life insurance.
She should be the one begging for R
She actually said to me at one time “don’t expect me to come crawling to you for forgiveness” or something like that. She just does not see the path of destruction she left behind.
The physical distance should help a lot.
I just got word from the mortgage company that I am “clear to close.” Every time I get a step closer to getting out, the sense of relief gets better. The weight is lifting. Final walk thru is scheduled and closing is scheduled for next week.
This0is0fine - I hear you, I have to be careful of written communication. Duly noted.
This is no longer just a matter of cheating. This is a one-year abuse process at least. Actually, I don't think it started with the discovery of her A.
I know. Assume she stopped cheating, can I live with the person that did what she did for a year? A year of lying and deception the depth and breadth of which is astounding. How can someone lie so much and for so long and still look at themselves as the victim? At what point does one get tired of lying and deceiving? It must be exhausting.
I wonder a lot about when the abuse started…it’s so hard to say. She used to do a lot for me, she used to do lots of things to show love and affection…then it stopped, I can’t pinpoint when that change occurred. I can’t remember anymore when we had good times. I can’t remember what it was like to be in an open, honest marriage.
So we are your logical, objective side.
It’s like buying a car…you really should have someone negotiate for you to take the emotion out of it.
I’ve often thought that I wish I had some of you guys standing next to me on dday and during some of the discussions shortly after that day.
You think you want her and her to stop cheating will be enough for you, but what you really want is for the last year to have not happened. You cannot have that and in the not too distant future you will realise that and it won’t be enough just for her to stop cheating.
One of the things they talk about in “cheating in a nutshell” is that by moving on with a cheater, you are asking your body to go against its own defense mechanisms. I believe jealousy is instinctual, millions of years of instinct…a cousin of fight or flight or just part of the fight or flight response, it’s there for a reason, to protect yourself. That’s not easy to overcome if at all.
Would I ever be able to be comfortable around her again? I don’t know.
I’ve heard it said on here and elsewhere, something like “he who cares least wins.”
That is such a sick game humans play on each other. I don’t get it and I don’t like it.