Newest Member: Serenity7

Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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ff4152 ( Member #55404) posted at 8:02 PM on Thursday, May 20th, 2021

Today I am thankful for

My sister sent me a very sweet text. She very rarely does so and it meant a lot to me.

I am participating in an event this weekend where I will have to perform in front of a lot of people. I have never done this before and am nervous. But the encouragement I’ve received has definitely helped and I’m thankful for that.

Speaking of encouragement, I’m thankful for the handful of SI folks (you know who you are) that have been entirely supportive towards me throughout my journey here. While not always in agreement with me, they’ve shown me kindness that has humbled me. I am forever grateful.

Me -FWS

posts: 1856   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8661237
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Tanner ( Member #72235) posted at 9:00 PM on Thursday, May 20th, 2021

I’m thankful to see W2BHA posting here again.

My Son is scheduled to have is tonsils removed. The surgery will include other obstructive airway issues. He is having apnea episodes all throughout his sleep. I’m thankful the Drs are moving fast on this.

Dday Sept 7 2019 working toward R
BH 54
WW 47
M 30 years, 4 kids 2 grown, twin boys 12 yo 2 grandkids

One day you will tell your story how you overcame what you are going through now, and it will become part of someone else’s survival guide.

posts: 715   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8661256
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster Member #45088) posted at 1:07 PM on Thursday, May 27th, 2021

I am thankful that my H is a man of integrity again . Feeling trust again with him is truly a wonderful thing !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5567   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8662976
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ladyphoenix ( Member #72766) posted at 3:32 AM on Friday, May 28th, 2021

Based on this thread, I have a 9am reminder every week that it is Thankful Thursday. Some days it’s been a challenge to focus on gratitude, however the reminder is important.

Thursday mornings I usually wake up between 3 and 4am and spiral into negative thoughts, then we end up fighting. I have been stuck in this cycle since feb 2019 (it used to be daily but now it's mostly just Thursdays). But this morning I woke at 6:30. Hallelujah! Maybe, just maybe, my brain is healing.

I am truly thankful for a full night of sleep on a Wednesday night.

As an added bonus of thankfulness:

My H just shared a song with me, held my hand and sang to me. Luke Combs “Better Together” An excellent way to end the day.

M 23 years, together 29. DD1 Feb 2019, DD2(TT) June 2019, DD3 (TT) July 2019, (TT) March 2020, (TT) Sept 2020We have 3 children: 22,18, 13 and a grandson April 2019. We work daily on R and building a stronger relationship.

posts: 95   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8663264
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster Member #45088) posted at 4:42 PM on Friday, May 28th, 2021

ladyphoenix...I had read somewhere about the value of being "thankful". I am an advocate for being positive...and being thankful really is a great way to get to being positive . Our bodies and feelings respond to our thoughts...and negative thoughts can put toxins in our system that will affect us sometimes even years from now. Positive thoughts will produce more of the "feel good" hormones that help our bodies...I have known this from first hand experience .

I really LIKE that part where you have a reminder so that you can find something to be thankful for ! It is hard to find the positive when trauma like betrayal enters our life...but there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for...even if it is just being thankful for waking up! With you focusing on finding it...you are definitely on the right track!!

I LOVE your things that you are thankful for! I looked up the lyrics to "Better Together"...very NICE!! THANK YOU for sharing about it !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5567   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8663487
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster Member #45088) posted at 1:56 PM on Thursday, June 3rd, 2021

Today I am thankful for being tired . The reason I am tired is because we stayed up past 11pm last night to watch Gutfeld. I LOVE that show...but it comes on at 10pm...and we are normally in bed by that time. Even though we record it...we seldom watch it the next night .

June is still kicking my butt . I haven't been sleeping well the last couple of nights...danged limbic system. But last night...my H didn't ask if I was ready for bed...which is his cue that HE is ready for bed. When Gutfeld came on...we were watching...and laughing...and we just stayed up . After a while...I realized he was going to stay up as long as I wanted . Just a small gesture like that made a world of difference to my mindset .

I actually slept all night...and even overslept a little this morning! But when I woke up...it was with a happy and thankful heart . I'm still tired...but this experience will go a LONG way in calming my lizard brain. I just have to get through this month...and hopefully put more positive experiences into it...to combat these horrible memories and thoughts from the month of June over these last 7 years. I WILL do it...and I Thank God for giving me this strength that I never knew I had before !!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5567   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8664681
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ff4152 ( Member #55404) posted at 10:32 PM on Thursday, June 3rd, 2021

I often think about how my wife and I met. It’s too revealing to post here but suffice to say, many things had to align that night for our paths to cross. While I don’t really believe in a supreme being, our coming together does seem more than simple happenstance.

We often see the term soulmate spoken here on SI, most often in negative terms (rightly so). Well in the case of my wife, I really think we were both destined to be with one another.

So I’m thankful I didn’t piss the opportunity to stay with her away. That I’m committed to R with myself, my wife, my marriage and my family. I’m thankful I have a second chance to get it right.

Me -FWS

posts: 1856   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8664825
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Chaos ( Member #61031) posted at 6:45 PM on Thursday, June 10th, 2021

Today I am thankful for coffee and a few minutes of peace to fully savor it.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3264   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8666429
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 9:15 PM on Thursday, June 10th, 2021

Samosas. I'm grateful for samosas from a specific vendor.

Also for the many thoughtful, nice people around me.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26008   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8666462
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landclark ( Member #70659) posted at 9:20 PM on Thursday, June 10th, 2021

I am thankful that my company allows me to work from home so that when I have a sick kid (like this week_, I'm able to be home for him without any detriment to my job. Work may drive me batty, but I really am very lucky!

Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 with TT through August
One child together, 3 stepchildren
Together 13.5 years, married 12.5 First EA was 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19.

posts: 1911   ·   registered: May. 29th, 2019
id 8666464
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outofsorts ( Member #70701) posted at 3:54 AM on Friday, June 11th, 2021

I am thankful that in 2.5 weeks I will finally get to take some time off of work. It's been a terrible year due to COVID and I desperately need some time off.

Me(BW): 40
WH: 40
Married 7 years, together 20.
Dday 2/22/19
Reconciling

posts: 330   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8666559
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Tanner ( Member #72235) posted at 6:25 AM on Friday, June 11th, 2021

We are taking a much needed trip to Florida next week. Our entire family is going. All kids and grandkids.

Tonight we were sitting by our fire pit with some neighbors. My W was talking about a family that is currently separated for months because of a job transfer. The W is not going because she has a job here. My W said no way I separate from my H over a job. “I would follow that man off of a cliff”. It was awesome!!!!

Dday Sept 7 2019 working toward R
BH 54
WW 47
M 30 years, 4 kids 2 grown, twin boys 12 yo 2 grandkids

One day you will tell your story how you overcame what you are going through now, and it will become part of someone else’s survival guide.

posts: 715   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8666569
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster Member #45088) posted at 1:04 PM on Friday, June 11th, 2021

Oooo...so MANY posts for yesterday!! I am very thankful that everything went well for everyone on here yesterday !! I am thankfulfor other things in my life that went well yesterday and today...I can't post them publicly though. Thank You God for prayers answered !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5567   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8666665
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster Member #45088) posted at 1:32 PM on Thursday, June 17th, 2021

I am so thankful for my family's health . Sadly...we found out an acquaintance has stage 4 colon cancer . This is the 2nd person in a year who found out.

PLEASE get a colonoscopy. They are free through your Healthcare provider. If caught early...colon cancer can be cured. You won't feel a thing...but you could save a life...YOURS .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5567   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8667940
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ff4152 ( Member #55404) posted at 3:06 PM on Thursday, June 17th, 2021

My wife and I had an excellent date night last night and I am definitely thankful for that.

The weather today is absolutely stunning as well!

Me -FWS

posts: 1856   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8667956
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster Member #45088) posted at 2:30 PM on Thursday, June 24th, 2021

This Thursday I am THANKFUL for having the husband I've always wanted . It's weird to me how it took something so HORRIBLE to make us BOTH realize what TRULY matters. From all of these decades being together...I know we had to go through the fire to become refined like we are now . NOW is what counts !!!

He LOVES me...and I LOVE him...and WE are ONE . Thank You God!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5567   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8669347
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Tanner ( Member #72235) posted at 3:38 AM on Friday, June 25th, 2021

I haven’t been around much lately but want to be thankful today. We got back from Florida this week, we spent a week with the whole family, kids, and grandkids. It was such a blessing and a much needed break ( I don’t recommend driving from Dallas).

We have a great family and my W has been solid in R for more than a year and half. We are approaching some big antiversaries and I haven’t felt the anxiety I did last year. But that’s for another post.

Best Wishes everyone

Dday Sept 7 2019 working toward R
BH 54
WW 47
M 30 years, 4 kids 2 grown, twin boys 12 yo 2 grandkids

One day you will tell your story how you overcame what you are going through now, and it will become part of someone else’s survival guide.

posts: 715   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8669547
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OneInTheSame ( Member #49854) posted at 1:08 AM on Saturday, June 26th, 2021

I’m another one who hasn’t been around much lately. We are coming up on six years since d-day. It’s been a rough road, but we are still headed in the same direction — together.

Today, with weather forecasts of a long week-end of temperatures in the triple-digits, I’m thankful that we finally installed a heat pump/air conditioner unit on our central HVAC system. I am very appreciative and thankful to be one of the minority of households who will not have to struggle to sleep due to the heat. We have HULU, Netflix, Prime, and our pantry is stocked.

I’m thankful for this today.

(I edit to correct typos)
I am the BS in a lesbian marriage. My WW's ex-girlfriend was the AP.
D-day of the 6 mo A was 10/04/15
We are doing okay, but by now I wanted it to be better

posts: 2483   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2015   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 8670115
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ff4152 ( Member #55404) posted at 1:39 PM on Saturday, June 26th, 2021

I know I’m late to the party but I have a few of things to share.

A very close friend of mine took me out for my birthday and we had an excellent time.

Another close friend (who is a chef) made something very special for said birthday.

My wife and child made my Father’s day very special by making me a nice breakfast.

I recently ordered a few things on line. Turns out I already had the most expensive item on the list and cancelled that one from the order. When I went to pick everything up, it turns out they included the cancelled item but didn’t charge me for it. Long story short, I didn’t take it and gave it back to the clerk. Pre A me would have simply walked out with the item without a second thought.

Me -FWS

posts: 1856   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8670174
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster Member #45088) posted at 3:07 PM on Thursday, July 1st, 2021

Today I am thankful for it being July 1st !! My H's A went from May 11-July 17...when he left the adultery co-conspirator's country to come back to America. My Dday was July 19. So 2 out of the 3 months of A season are OVER...and I haven't had a meltdown yet...Thank You God !!!

Oddly...with me being sort of indifferent to A season this year...I have been able to find out some new information that helped explain WHY some things happened during my H's A. Knowledge is POWER...and I gained a little more...YAY!!!

My H has been wonderful during this time for the most part . He did express some frustration at times when I asked about certain details about places THEY went to...until he understood why I was going over some of these things. That frustrated me!! But it showed that we were able to communicate our frustrations in order to get clarity without it escalating into a shouting match. PROGRESS !!!

I am especially thankful for the amazing friends and family on here who have been PMing me and helping me through this time as well !!! I am so BLESSED to have y'all in my life!!! What an AWESOME site this is!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 5567   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8671499
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