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At this point, when she knows there will be a divorce, why not just ask her where she wants to be served.

If she doesn’t give a day and time, try random days at her office? Evening at your home?

Good luck

Now while she is dressing sexy for work with leopard skin clothing, she has neglected to buy school clothing for the kids. The nanny told me what they need. I will go with kids this weekend to buy clothes.

Make sure you document occurrences like this and keep those costs to give to your lawyer. What you are trying to establish is her patterns of behavior to show she is an unfit mother and that you deserve full or at least primary custody.

I think the process server is going to try to call and find out when she will be in the office. But she can always make the appointments and at last second cancel to go be with her boyfriend.

Have her served at her boyfriend's place.

Don't let her little jabs tear you down

If you would.....

Other men do.....

My friend says.....

She tries to devalue you to cover up her bad actions and neglect and abuse of you. In her mind she's always right.

Never mind she needs to buy school clothes, she's focused on leopard dresses for herself.

She's blinded by her own ego.

You know who you are. Are you there for the kids?

Are you the honest partner? Did you lie and sneak around and try to play games? This is all her fault. Who cares about the gas? She wants a servant not a husband. Not a friend. You'll do so much better with someone who values you. It's hard to listen to her abuse. Just worthless words from a selfish girl who wants to be above others.

Thanks pureheartkit - those words really helped me think of it better and improved my self esteem.

EVerything she is doing is: we can be freinds afterwards so invest in my LLC, we need to be civil for the kids afterwards, don't use a lawyer otherwise it will be bitter and we won't be civil with each other afterwards.

ALmost like she wants to be friends afterwards.

I don't trust her. I feel like she just wants to be friends so after divorce is signed , she can still call me up and use me: something wrong with refrigerator, kids need a new instrument, I need money to pay the nanny to help feed the kids, etc.

Do you have a list of the things you want to do in chronological order? I find that it helps with moving forward by just keeping on doing the things on the list. Keep striking em out 1 by 1 and by the time the things on the list are done, you are pretty much halfway out of the toxic relationship.

The things in the list are comprised of only actionable items and does not involve things like doing the 180, NC and reminders of how to act at the moment. Purely a step by step on how to get the fuck out asap. Just wondering if you have one and if that would help.

Staying friends afterwards is a way that she can spin that she isn't that bad. She can tell people "See Vonnbock and I are still friends. He knew this was the best thing for both of us."

I'd just tell her that I don't have friends that lie and betray me.

Good idea on the list.

I am gong to start one so I can get out ASAP.

I think I am more thinking after divorce rather than things before divorce.

I know I will only allow her to email me requests or anything about the kids. I am not going to allow her, "I don't have money, I need more money to help raise the kids" "TV broken what should I do" I want lawyer to state if I pay child support, then that is it. In Texas there is no alimony becuase she owns her own business.

None of this share this and that or halfway for all future expenses with kids.

I want her gone from my life except for raising kids.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 2:16 PM, September 10th (Thursday)]

If/when she says "I don't have money", "TV broken what should I do". Just say to her "Go ask your boyfriend. You have a job. I'm done taking care of you". Totally be her friend, then de-friend her after divorced.

[This message edited by Tempocontour at 3:02 PM, September 10th (Thursday)]

She is not your friend. She is a user and a taker.

Keep all correspondence with her only as email or text messaging.

It will get better.

"I don't have money, I need more money to help raise the kids“

If she starts claiming money for things for the kids then rather than giving her money, find out what it is they need and get the item I.e take them for new shoes or whatever. Then you know the kids have what they need and she isn’t keeping the cash for herself.

Just wanted to check to see how you were doing.

Has she been served yet?

Hang in there and stay strong.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:31 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

Vonblock- did you heed the advice here? You need to hire that forensic accountant. You would be wells served to find out all the shady stuff your wife did with money, it will help you out in your D. If she is hiding money, tax fraud..... all things the judge will not look kindly upon, will help give you leverage in your D. Don't delay

Good call on the accountant.

One day at a time.

Buddy, get forensic accountant ASAP..

Show her you mean business!

DNA your kids.

I dont need to dna my kids because they were conceived through ivf. I gave my sample that day to the clerk. If she switched samples, that would be lawsuit and the ivf clinic would be shut down. Everyone says the kids look like me.

OK the process has started I sent in my petition she counterpetitioned.

I looked at her counterpetition and I was outraged. SHould I post my feelings on here through the paperwork process or do not do it because they can subpoena?