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Just Found Out :
Heartache

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Pandora16 ( member #56906) posted at 4:25 AM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

My ex used LLCs too, a couple of which he used to secretly purchase homes for two of his affair partners. For one LLC, he forged someone’s electronic signature. My PI found the info. I think I only caught the tip of the iceberg of what my ex husband had been up to, but just didn’t want to spend more time and money finding out the rest and dragging it through court. I was eager to divorce him and get him out of my life at that point.

I think it sounds like you and your lawyer are on the right track.

[This message edited by Pandora16 at 10:30 PM, September 16th (Wednesday)]

D-Day #1 12/8/16 (ILYBINILWY), D-Day #2 12/17/16 (admitted to affair)

Divorced: 10/24/17
Married 20 years, together 24, 1 young adult son

posts: 255   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017
id 8588424
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 Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 4:52 AM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Another thing I can't figure out, throughout this ordeal, she kept hyping her llcs.

"I know we working on marriage but I need to get my llc started, why don't you invest in it with me while we work on marriage"

"No matter what happens, I am still your friend, why don't you invest in my LLC with me"

"I can't wait for you to make decision about our marriage, I need to start my LLC, otherwise why don't we just divorce"

"I can't wait for the marriage and what we are going through right now, I need to start my LLC, if you are not interested, you need to sign a letter saying you have no interest in whatever I put in the LLC"

This LLC is more.important to her than the marriage and divorce

posts: 208   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8588427
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HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 5:17 AM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

That is exactly why you need to hire a forensic accountant, and find out what the hell has been going on with her finances. Your lawyer doesn't know either, until you start digging.

If her sisters pill mill was laundering money thru your wives optometry, you would be entitled to a portion of that money, if they don't get reported to the authorities. Look at it this way. If something shady shows up, and from what you've written it surely looks like it. You keep asking about why was she so focused on the LLC, well, maybe if you invested in that LLC, you are now also liable and are a party to that money laundering. Its a good thing you didn't get involved, and you can use that story to get yourself a better settlement. If fraud is found, guess who has to go down and who loses that spotless image in front of your family judge? You win either way.

Spend a little time and money and dig. If you don't find anything, its a minor cost, but if you do.... you will have major leverage in this divorce. She will sign away her alimony, child support...... to stay away from the Feds and having to stand trial during your divorce hearing. She is going to quickly settle.

That is why she was so interested in tying you into her LLC, and why she keeps talking about it. She was pushing you for a reason. Find out why, and you might just walk away from this marriage with a D in your favor.

posts: 1426   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Cali
id 8588429
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 Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 5:29 AM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:34 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

posts: 208   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8588431
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MountainGuy ( new member #75436) posted at 6:11 AM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Also, you might want to talk to another attorney about what your liabilities here might be. If she is really doing what you're suggesting you might be on the hook if she hasn't been paying taxes and what not, or your family assets might be in danger. Make sure you aren't exposed here.

posts: 49   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2020
id 8588440
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 1:24 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Why would your lawyer say "we've got stuff on her"? That sounds very much like blackmail. Blackmail is illegal.

The advise given here is for your lawyer to throw the getting a forensic accountant on the table. There seems to be financial details that are suspect. That isn't blackmail. It is part of the disclosure process.

I'm afraid you might be setting yourself up for something in the future. My former BIL had a settlement with his XW. I don't know all the details but she got one house and he got the other. She came back later, went to court and got a lot more money from him. She had already taken a lot.

If you don't thoroughly get to the bottom of everything you may end up being implicated in her dealings while she was married to you. I'm not a lawyer but there are too many bad stories out there to not cover all the bases, IMO.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4720   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8588453
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 Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 1:43 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

You are so right. I was reading that many spouses create LLC before divorce so other spouse can't get to the money.

I meant about the lawyers knowing about her affairs and finances that they can use it as levearge in divorce process.

Gosh, I feel like the 10 years of marriage was just a big plan for her. She had no interest in me. I was a tool to be used. Not just for status but to attempt to get me to do illegal things for her. Only positive is I got 3 children out of it which I know are mine.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 7:44 AM, September 17th (Thursday)]

posts: 208   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8588457
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Westway ( member #71747) posted at 5:27 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Another thing I can't figure out, throughout this ordeal, she kept hyping her llcs.

"I know we working on marriage but I need to get my llc started, why don't you invest in it with me while we work on marriage"

"No matter what happens, I am still your friend, why don't you invest in my LLC with me"

"I can't wait for you to make decision about our marriage, I need to start my LLC, otherwise why don't we just divorce"

"I can't wait for the marriage and what we are going through right now, I need to start my LLC, if you are not interested, you need to sign a letter saying you have no interest in whatever I put in the LLC"

This LLC is more.important to her than the marriage and divorce

She's obviously delusional. Anyway, don't try to climb in her head and figure her out. Her brains are scrambled if she thinks you are stupid enough to do this with her. Get that divorce filed so that she cannot damage your credit.

[This message edited by Westway at 11:27 AM, September 17th (Thursday)]

Me: 52;

XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater

Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.

posts: 1366   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8588567
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Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 6:31 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

If she Even tries to negotiate from your one AND FINAL offer, go DEFCON ONE on her A$$

Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets

posts: 696   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2019
id 8588611
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Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 6:32 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Has she been served yet?????

Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets

posts: 696   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2019
id 8588612
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HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 6:44 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Vonbock, your attorney is not going to subpoena her two affair partners. They don't do that. They also don't care about that b/c that is not the solution to your divorce. They would in fact advise against getting those two affair partners to testify b/c it does not one thing for your case. Your case is about divorce, and they are going to try to get you the best terms they can, without all that other hoopla. Trust, that is how they work.

If you want to expose the other men, that is on you to do. At this point, I say, who cares. Spend your time with your kids, and your money on the accountant. Get yourself the best Divorce you can by using he shady dealings as leverage. Once you uncover things, your lawyer will be able to guide you.

If you expose her affair partners to their spouses, you need to have solid proof. Otherwise, you just look like a crazy jealous and angry ex husband. So you need to make sure you have proof before haphazardly exposing.

posts: 1426   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Cali
id 8588616
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 Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 7:34 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

SHe found an attorney and her attorney called mine and so they recalled the server.

posts: 208   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8588633
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squid ( member #57624) posted at 8:46 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Vonbock, I'm going to be blunt. Stop with the, "I can't believe my wife is really like this?" stuff.

THIS IS WHO SHE IS.

Continue to let her believe her crap. But you can obviously see that she is setting you up to be RAILROADED. Are you doing everything in your power to protect yourself?

Don't wait for your attorney to suggest a strategy. It's time play hardball. You see what she is capable of. Enough with the "I can't believe she's doing this to me". BELIEVE IT.

She will likely not settle. At least not to terms that are fair and equitable. So don't settle just for the sake of settling.

Be prepared for a long, drawn out battle. Arm yourself with knowledge. GET THAT FORENSIC ACCOUNTANT. Even if you have told your attorney everything, it does not mean the he/she is the best person to deal with your WW's financial disclosures. She can still hide it. You need someone that can legally illicit all of the data of her holdings. Subpoena it if you have to.

Too bad "Waggingthedog" isn't on here to give his legal take.

BH
D-Day 2.19.17
Divorced 12.10.18

This isn’t what any of us signed up for. But it is the hand that we have been dealt. Thus, we must play it.

posts: 2597   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Central Florida
id 8588659
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 9:29 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

They recalled the server? What the hell is that? Why would your lawyer recall the server? Who is he working for? There better be a damn good reason.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4720   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8588690
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 Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 9:43 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

They recalled the server because she had a lawyer already. Her lawyer called mine and set up mediation dates so they recalled the server.

My lawyer is pretty good, she is supposed to be top 3 in my city.

posts: 208   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8588695
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Bigheart2018 ( member #63544) posted at 9:44 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Did they recall the server without your knowledge?

posts: 349   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2018   ·   location: Southwest PA
id 8588696
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 Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 10:30 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

My lawyer told me they recalled the server because her lawyer reached out to mine and accepted council.

Now they are telling me mediation dates are far out, too many people getting divorced right now.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 5:05 PM, September 17th (Thursday)]

posts: 208   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8588718
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squid ( member #57624) posted at 11:34 PM on Thursday, September 17th, 2020

Now they are telling me mediation dates are far out, too many people getting divorced right now.

Perfect. More time for the Forensic Attorney to gather more evidence. Or for her to hide it.

Act accordingly.

BH
D-Day 2.19.17
Divorced 12.10.18

This isn’t what any of us signed up for. But it is the hand that we have been dealt. Thus, we must play it.

posts: 2597   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Central Florida
id 8588756
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 Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 1:06 AM on Friday, September 18th, 2020

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:35 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

posts: 208   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8588806
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Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 1:35 AM on Friday, September 18th, 2020

Good job!

Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets

posts: 696   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2019
id 8588816
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