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New Beginnings :
Can I Get An Amen?!

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 HeHadADoubleLife (original poster member #68944) posted at 12:16 AM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

I feel bad posting this anywhere else, as there are so many newly minted BSs about to come in, as well as those in IHS and/or isolation with their waywards, but...

Holy universe am I happy that I am not having to isolate with my idiot, meth head, sex addict of an X!!!!

Sure it would be nice to have someone to do this whole isolation thing with, but damn am I glad that it's not him!

I'm not stuck in a house with someone who can't keep his hand out of his pants, I don't have to follow his dumbass around with Lysol to spray everything he touches because he won't wash his hands, and I don't have to worry about him pestering me for sex every 5 seconds because his normal outlets like cam girls and escorts can't be used when you're locked in your house with your whole family. I'm freeeeeeeeeee!!!

I have food in the fridge, a few rolls of TP left, and some kitties to cuddle. No psycho BPD narcissists for me!

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 839   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8525136
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staystrong101 ( member #41068) posted at 1:48 AM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

Amen!!

posts: 681   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8525156
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 2:52 AM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

I'll give you your amen, and raise you a hallaleuja!!

I'm quite content alone.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8525171
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 12:05 PM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

Amen!! I have peace...

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8525232
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HeartFullOfHoles ( member #42874) posted at 3:24 PM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

I'll second that, no I'll triple that!

I can almost hear the whining and stupid comments, but thankfully the silence and peace at my own place is drowning it out.

BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced
D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time)
Two adult daughters

posts: 782   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2014
id 8525265
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Chili ( member #35503) posted at 4:22 PM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

Holy crap HHADL: you expressed exactly what I was thinking. Like Phoenix, I am quite content to be alone.

But also if I may hop on the Karma train for one minute, I am slightly tickled that he is in fact someone else's problem right now. Bwaaaa Haaaa Haaaaa! Good luck with that. Can you imagine what it's like to be so disordered and dysfunctional -- feeling like someone put you in time-out? Lordy.

So relieved and grateful in my drama free, dog-filled, self-isolating world.

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2242   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8525278
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 4:58 PM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

Right!! I thought about this a few days ago. I have my kids and my dog. Plenty of food and TP for now. I have books, my guitar and myself. I'm an introvert so being inside ain't no thing.

I thought about how my ex and her dude are really gonna get to know each other now. Good luck dude hahahaha! My house is calm and quiet, it's nice!

posts: 1113   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8525294
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:54 PM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

aMEN!!

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8525348
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 11:51 PM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

I had a therapy session by phone last week and this was part of the discussion, so I get it, too. MUCH better to be alone or with pets and or kids than xpos!

I bet xpos is a real fun guy when he can't do his hookups at motels like usual. Or moybe he can have up to 10 in the house. His NW/Slut must go along with it, so no prob inviting them there!

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8525375
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 1:53 AM on Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

Yesssssss. A to the MEN!

I was feeling very similarly about not being locked up with a 38 yo man child with a.d.d. that goes through a roll of TP a day on his own!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3921   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8525394
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UneedToSmile ( member #72111) posted at 4:54 AM on Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

Yes! The one positive in this whole thing. Let's face it, most of us were rocking it on our own for a long time anyway....they are the ones that can't be alone for a single second and need their next partner before they finish with the first.

I am so amazed by all the firsts that I have accomplished on my own lately. It started with a 500 mile drive with my kids on my own to see a concert. I knew I could do it, but now we can go even further (well, not right now tho). I had to fix my water softener on my own today. I figured out the snowblower on my own. I mounted a large mirror on the wall with power tools I bought myself (ha...mounted/power tools...why did my mind go there?). I was independent before, but I am so much more independent and comfortable with it now!! So thanks for that x-twat waffle!!!

Me: BS 42 years old
Him: Lying cheating narcissistic prick 43 years old
Married for 18 yrs, together for 20 total
Dday: August 19 2019
Divorced: June 12 2020

posts: 196   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8525418
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IndependenceSoon ( new member #71760) posted at 6:24 PM on Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

Amen to not being in the same house with cheater.

posts: 17   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2019   ·   location: CA
id 8525508
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 4:25 AM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020

Let's face it, most of us were rocking it on our own for a long time anyway....they are the ones that can't be alone for a single second and need their next partner before they finish with the first.

Spot. On.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8525616
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 4:48 AM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020

It’s so great not having to be around the FREAK!!!!

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8525622
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Simplicity ( member #60501) posted at 6:06 AM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020

Being an essential worker, I'm would not have been stuck with him the way others would have been, but in these trying times of high stress and where I am pretty stressed at the hospital, I am THANKFUL not to be with a cheater on top of all of this. And on this first weekend of being safer at home, I am so glad to just chill by myself and not have to (likely) be distressed by him texting his homewrecker the whole time. We're always told to be grateful for the small things, well this is a BIG thing to be thankful for, so yes. AMEN!

posts: 1267   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2017   ·   location: USA
id 8525636
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MakingMyFuture ( member #43530) posted at 5:16 PM on Thursday, March 26th, 2020

I’m working remotely around the clock because of virus while also home schooling two kids- 1 with emotional issues. I’m overwhelmed and could use some help but I can’t even imagine if I was going through all of this and also dealing with a lying, drinking disordered sociopath and the emotional damage he was doing to me and the kids.

I can’t imagine how hard it is for those who are sheltering in place with someone who has treated them so poorly, are just finding out or still a puddled crying ball on the floor. My heart goes out to them.

For the rest of us, this is hard but this is doable without having to quarantine with an enemy of the marriage in your house or bed. So a huge AMEN to all of those who are I have actual physical and emotional safety in their home by being fuckwit free!

To those who are not, know you WILL get through this and we on the other side are all here for you!

Hugs to everyone

When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

BW: 43 (me) WH: 42 (him)
DD-13, DS-11
DDay 1 = 1/13, DDay2 = 7/14 (False R), D 4/15

posts: 1128   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2014   ·   location: SoCal
id 8526606
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