Got a question.
Back story is I was in loveless sexless marriage for several years. Last week, wife makes a move on me and we end up having sex (mind totally blown). She grabbed my d*ck, so I did not misread signals. Just at out of the blue. (More details are in scared and confused in reconciliation form)
We end up having making love (as opposed to just having sex) two more times last week. I was really into it both times.
I’m late 50’s. I use Cialis for ED. Not that I have needed that much in the past several years.
I have erection failure 2 of the 3 times last week. Get hard but lose it before I come. Can’t get it back. (F*ck, F*ck, F*ck). I feel like a loser. Fortunately, she was finished both times, so it was just me who missed out.
Yesterday, I was at the store with her and came back to drop stuff in the cart. When I turned the corner and saw her, I started to get a boner. By the time I made it down the aisle, I was at full mast. Later, was on the sofa watching TV, she came down stairs and sat down on opposite sofa, and I got hard again. Full mast again. I was not thinking about sex or f*cking, just seeing her and how beautiful she is did this.
This is sooo frustrating for me as when I want to show her how much I love her (which I did not know I really did until last week) I can’t . When we are making love, I lose it. When we are doing nothing,full mast.
How I got thru the last several years was masterbation, so I have not touched myself (or felt the need to) since she and I stared making love again.
I have a doctor appointment after Christmas and had my blood work done(all scheduled before this started happening. I am going to the old marriage counselor for IC tomorrow).
A week ago, I did not think R was possible. Now I feel like I am making progress, and my stupid d*ck is all off schedule. (F*ck, F*ck,F*ck)
I had a really bad night last night, as the pain of DD and aftermath came flooding back. Nothing you guys did not experience-the lies, the drip drip drip of info, the rush to protect OM from his spouse finding out. I am making myself vulnerable to her again, and I could get burned so bad if this does not work. I have protected my heart for so long, and now putting it back out there to her is scary as hell.
I have never been unfaithful to my wife. Her one affair is the only one I know about. Basically she was unremorseful so I was not going to get burned again. I stayed for 2 great little boys. My best friends in the whole world. I could have left in 2013, when the youngest turned 18, but things we ok. Not a ton of love, but sex was good, finances were good, so inertia kept us going.
This seemed to fall off around 2018 along with the sex. I just got tired of begging. I’m no Brad Pitt, but I think I’m ok for my age, and I’m a pretty good lover. But she did not seem to want me so I got tired of humiliating my self begging her to do what should be natural. She did not seem to care, so I stopped as well.
Ok guys-rip into it. Even if you think I am the dumbest f*ck on the planet-I can take it. I just need some help
[This message edited by goingtomakeit at 5:45 PM, Sunday, December 18th]