You got me thinking of the way OM's life imploded. The way it all went down was epic and I had to chuckle. Even though I still feel I got the shitty end of the stick and wish him nothing but hardship because no amount of revenge would ever be enough, thinking about the nuclear chain reaction his life became warmed my heart.
All I did was tell his wife. I did later speak to his commanding General after he reached out and an investigator, I assume from the military contractor, contacted me for details. But mainly it was his wife who demolished him. Apparently she came from money and her family didn't approve of the union and cut her off, mostly. The impression I got was he never loved her but wanted access to the family business and they saw him comming. Banking and insurance, I think. Anyway, she made a lot of sacrifices for him and, with her help, he built up a considerable portfolio.
To his wife, this was a super betrayal. She was one of those popular sorority types that looked down on my school-marmish looking future XWW. She didn't associate with my wife, different circles, but she'd see her around...as an object of ridicule. Also, as it turns out, my XWW got a perverse satisfacion from screwing the husband of one of her former tormentors. So his wife's fuse was lit.
She went to his direct commander, then to the general, state senator, federal senator, the husbands and/or employers of any woman he'd been with. Anyone who would listen. It's like I dropped a pebble on top of a snowy mountain and it became an avalanche. A tiny tremor at the bottom of the ocean became a huge tsunami. My wife wasn't his only 'victim'. He had a string of conquests. A rotation.
XWW was double mad when she found out that, not only was she not special, but she'd been cooking and cleaning for his 'harem' as well. I'd never seen her really, really angry before. She ran through a gamut of emotions...fear, anger, sadness, regret and finally TRUE remorse. She's thoroughly disgusted by him and herself.
In short, his wife savaged him mercilessly. Hell hath no fury, they say. I'd met with her twice and she couldn't stand me either. I was a shy, book-smart, somewhat overweight kid who became a shy, book-smart, somewhat overweight adult. She just wanted info. I'd heard lots of betrayed wives have retailiation affairs with the betrayed husbands so, in my state of mind at the time, I was hopeful. She was VERY beautiful. Not quite what she was in college, but still. Unfortunately at the tme I kinda looked like Dan Aykroyd from Driving Miss Daisy. Not her type at all. Now I look more like Gerard Butler from '300', beard and all. I muse about what she'd think if she saw me now. XWW loves my new body and gets jealous when other women notice me. I'm really loving that.
It came out in the earlier failed marriage therapy that she'd always had a thing for him, and he knew it, but he was unattainable. They did have sex at least once during our courtship (I've made progress and I don't want to dig up an old corpse although she's said she'd hide nothing, ever again). For him, it was just to prove a point.
I didn't get a chance to talk to XWW yet. Were having a family dinner with the kids tonight so I'll bring it up after. I am fine with the way things are now: great partner, great sex, compliant and patient partner, kids doing well, money's rolling in and I'm in the best shape of my life and she's motivted to stay in shape too, but I want to be free of the doubt and fear. I'll keep you guys posted.
I do wish you'd told OM's wife, though. There's something about seeing an ASSHOLE'S life get dismantled that just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.
[This message edited by hatefulnow at 11:19 AM, Saturday, August 27th]