Newest Member: WhatnowH


Major blow out need help

Had a major blow out with my WW tonight and things got ugly. I told her I was going to stay with my parents tomorrow.
My dday anniversary is in two weeks and my marriage anniversary is the following week. I have been upset the last few days and she hasn’t said a word to me about why I’m upset just stuff like why are you grouchy.
Today I texted to tell her and said I was going to run some errands and go to my parents and I be home later at night. Her response was "are you having some sort of issue with me this week" I responded " idk I’m just having a hard time this week just that time of year I guess" and then nothing. So a few hours later I texted her and said " based off of your response I guess you don’t care" her response " I’m just trying to finish my work so I can leave"
When I got home she completely ignored me until I was going to bed and she wanted to go down the street to her aunts.
Anyway we argued and she blamed me the whole time about how she’s been walking on egg shells for two years and I don’t want to heal and I’ve been hanging it over her head. So I told her how she’s not even sorry and doing any work. Idk It was ugly I told her I hated her and wished she died.
She gave me my rings back and went down to her aunts house and Never came home.

Funny thing about this whole argument is I knows this was going to happen it’s the same argument every time "you’re not sorry or doing any work" "her talking about her feelings and how I do t want to heal"

Idk what to do part of me is relieved I guess but I feel super sad that she wouldn’t work towards R.
I guess I’ll be heading towards D, there’s nothing else to be said she’ll never get it. sad

I’ve decided I’m not going to my parents she should be the one to leave we wouldn’t have that house if it weren’t for the money I saved before we met and she’s the one that destroyed us.

Any advice?

17 comments posted: Saturday, September 25th, 2021

Valentines day

So the other day my W mentioned that a nice local restaurant was offering a Valentine’s Day to go dinner package with a 4 course menu and a bottle of champagne. We got the a Similar meal for New Years and it was nice. She read the menu and although it sounded nice it was pricey. My immediate response without thinking was screw that I’ll cook up a real chef meal. So for a few days I thought of a cool tasting menu I could do. Then the A started to creep into my thoughts and really just ruined it.

I’m cooking weeknight meals now that I’m On furlough from the hotel but I’m not putting any effort in. Creating a thoughtful well planned out dinner is very personal to me and I’m not really sure I want to do that now.

I will admit that it’s been a sore spot for my W throughout our marriage that she was married to chef that was never interested in cooking for her, so I have been trying to be better at it.

I feel like I’m sending a message that I’m further along in my healing than I really am.

Or possibly I’m healing more than I want to admit and am having a hard time letting go of the hurt.

Anyway I’m really not sure what type advice I’m looking for but thanks for being there.

18 comments posted: Wednesday, January 27th, 2021

Year two?


I’ve heard it said in many post that year two can be very difficult even more difficult than year one. Im 14 months out and was wondering if someone further out than I can elaborate on year two being worse.


31 comments posted: Sunday, November 29th, 2020

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