Newest Member: bvinnie


Happily remarried with 3 awesome kids

Do New Life Challenges Dredge Up the Past?

I joined SI last year, but I originally found out I was a BH "way back" in 2008, and D in 2009. I since remarried and we had twins last year. One of the twins was diagnosed with congenital heart disease in utero. Born under 3 lbs, she was in NICU for over 100 days, 1 hr away. My wonderful wife and I drove there 7 days per week with the other newborn twin who was home, and sent our 2YO to preschool or grandma's house. COVID made it all the more stressful with the hospital rules and rejections of us all being together at times.

My wife and I have flexible FT jobs which was a huge blessing, but mine is relentless. No paternity leave, so I drained all "vacation time" and had a laptop some days at the hospital bedside unfortunately, and worked nights (including up to a full 3 sleepless nights per week). We alternated driving and caring at night for the twin newborn at home so that the one of us who slept could drive. On my nights I'd work between diaper changes / feeding baby, and tried to make it all night if possible working. It was hell and I could only complete essential tasks which is way out of character for me. Thankfully it was enough to keep my job. I can't imagine what a financial hardship would have felt like during this time. The baby formula situation is the newest stressor now, our heart baby of course only tolerates one brand due to stomach emptying infant reflux.

All this to say, in the midst of it all, I've started thinking about my past and still do to this day, moreso than prior to the twins arrival by far. I started to read stories to relate to on SI. Why? I am not entirely sure. I never did that in the past (read online stories to relate) although I do wish I had known about SI on DD. I will say, there is a lack of forums for my twin situation.

Is this normal and likely a phase, or something I should be concerned about? Can anybody relate to this at all?

10 comments posted: Friday, June 17th, 2022

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